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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to want to avoid office secret Santa

61 replies

ClaireDB · 27/10/2011 10:59

At the office Christmas party they are having a secret Santa. I've not worked there long and don't know many people well, there's also a lot of nasty office politics. I haven't done it before but think secret Santa is a bad idea, main reasons are: im not into consumerism (working in 'green' industry), I have enough 'stuff' already and assume the person would buy me something I don't want, i dont like the idea of a work colleague buying me a gift, I hate shopping, I don't have much spare cash or time, I think office politics would be involved... I wouldn't mind if it was optional but everyone who goes to the party has to do it. I actually asked if I could give my present money to charity instead but was told no because 'it would be a laugh'. After all there's nothing more fun than enforced joviality is there?! ;) AIBU??

OP posts:

glasscompletelybroken · 27/10/2011 11:01

Yes

Bah humbug...

PomBearAtTheGatesOfDoom · 27/10/2011 11:06

Are you actually a Christian? I only ask because, if you aren't, that could be your perfect, unassailable excuse/reason not to participate. And it has the advantage that nobody should so much as mention it to you in case they offend you causing tribunals and such like so will get you out of any and all the associated stuff...

toboldlygo · 27/10/2011 11:08

YANBU. I used to work in an office and was really pleased with my gift one year, a mug that had a space in the bottom to keep biscuits. That is, until a colleague informed me that the woman who had bought it for me thought I spent too much time making/drinking tea and was trying to make a sarky point.

Scholes34 · 27/10/2011 11:12

I pulled my own name out of the hat one year and got myself a nice treat.

nickelbabe · 27/10/2011 11:16

toboldlygo - i would have ignored that "piece of information" - just because the giver was being sarky, doesn't make it any less of a cool pressie

Claire - yabu, i'm afraid. Even if you don't know the person you're chosen to buy for - could you not get them socks or something you know is a practical gift? then you're not wasting anything.
Plus, if you get the name in plenty of time, you can spend a while finding out what they're like.

lovelyredwine · 27/10/2011 12:50

Well I think YANBU especially if there are office politics involved. Someone made a complaint about my boss a few years ago and he ended up resigning due to the stress/felt he couldn't come back to our office after the palaver....all due to secret santa. I NEVER get involved with them now.

clairefromsteps · 27/10/2011 12:56

lovelyredwine - your boss resigned over secret santa? God almighty, what did he buy them??

ClaireDB - if you'd rather a charity benefitted, why don't you get one of those Oxfam goat gift cards, or something?

squeakyfreakytoy · 27/10/2011 13:00

Blimey, you sound like a real bundle of fun...

Secret Santa is a laugh. There is normally a fixed amount to spend like a fiver, and if you dont know the person, you just get something neutral like a scented candle....

Eyelasher · 27/10/2011 13:01

its october

just say " i dont do it"

OatcakeCravings · 27/10/2011 13:01

YABU - join in!!

Icelollycraving · 27/10/2011 13:06

Wow you sound a barrel of laughs. If you want to be green,do a £10 donation to a charity in their name.

LoveInAColdGrave · 27/10/2011 13:06

Wow, lovelyredwine, what did he buy/receive!?

OP, lighten up, there's presumably a budget of a fiver or whatever, you'll look like a huge spoilsport if you don't join in. FWIW, I'm not crazy about secret santa either - I always seem to end up with some cheap bath foam that I'll be allergic to, which goes in the charity shop pile after Christmas . but it's only once a year - just buy a mug, sweets, whatever, it doesn't have to be funny or clever. I once got a bottle of wine which I was very keen on - much better than allergy-provoking bath products. Or would those be read as saying you spend all day drinking tea and not working/you are a fat sweet-binging cow/you are an alcoholic?

Er, maybe gloves?!

Kveta · 27/10/2011 13:11

we used to have an optional secret santa - 2 peaople never joined in, which was fine, and they got a mint humbug each out of the sack when all the gifts were exchanged. It wasn't a big deal, and everyone was happy. I don't see why it should be compulsory, as that takes the fun out of it, so I don't think YABU at all.

WitchesBrewMakesItBetter · 27/10/2011 13:18

YANBU but for the wrong reasons. Secret Santa can be a massive PITA as loveredwine's and toboldlygo's stories clearly illustrate. Last year I was given, I kid you not, a bottle of Calpol. Because I was heavily pregnant of course and might need it at some point in the future. Sadly I was an annoyingly normal and reasonable person whilst I was pregnant so the culprit still lives.

If you don't want to do it, just say no, people here do. Just don't be all preachy about it.

Fiendishlie · 27/10/2011 13:20

YABU. Buy a bottle of wine if you can't think of anything else

chickswithbricks · 27/10/2011 13:23

YANBU to not want to do it but it looks like it will be more of an effort to avoid it than take part. Just buy a mug or a tin of biscuits or something. If you don't lie what you are given then just accept it with good grace and donate it to someone who does want it.

lovelyredwine · 27/10/2011 13:25

He bought a shower gel dispenser in the shape of breasts - soap came out of the nipples when you squeezed. He bought it for a single male colleague. A female colleague complained that it was sexist and she was offended. As he was the boss, work decided that he should have known better and started interviewing everyone about his behaviour in general etc. He decided to go as he thought he wouldn't be able to work in our office after all the accusations etc.

It was a stupid gift to give if you're the boss, but we had been doing secret santa for years and had always got stupid/joke presents like that. We all tried to outdo each other a bit in the hilarity stakes, so maybe it went too far. I thought it was funny at the time, and still do, to be honest. He had also only been promoted that year so was perhaps a bit naive.

nickelbabe · 27/10/2011 13:28

but how did they find out it was him?
isn't the whole point of secret santa that it's secret?

I think it's funny.

OliviaTwist · 27/10/2011 13:29

Nope, yadnbu.

I hate secret santa - what is the point?

I have enough stuff, the last thing I need is more. And yes, it could just go the charity shop (do they take chocolate willies or arse/face soap ?) but it is just adding to the mountain of stuff in the world....

Just call me scrooge.

LoveInAColdGrave · 27/10/2011 13:29

Ouch, lovelyredwine, major secret santa fail!

OP, steer clear of body-part shaped/flavoured/scented gifts and you should be fine .

KatieMortician · 27/10/2011 13:30

YABU and will look like a misery. Join in or don't go.

catgirl1976 · 27/10/2011 13:31

YABU.....Don't be a humbug. But don't go for breast shaped shower gel dispensers either.

LoveInAColdGrave · 27/10/2011 13:33

I can see it is more annoying if you work in an office where people deliberately buy pointless presents (like OliviaTwist does, by the sound of it) and you hate waste. I think I am lucky that in my office people try to get something the recipient will like and use (wine, chocolate, mug, soap etc). Its just unlucky that I have have sensitive skin! Any of the other ideas mentioned would be fine, although I also don't work in an office where those presents would be read as a hint that the recipient was an alcoholic/fat/smelly.

LoveInAColdGrave · 27/10/2011 13:33

Argh, it's.

mrspear · 27/10/2011 13:34

Yes OP you are being bah humbug BUT i understand why ... last office i worked in presents were handed round before the dinner so everyone got pissed quizzing who bought what and then arguments started over a bottle of cheap perfume - they took offense and saw it as a sly dig. FFS "they" were the boss. For what it is worth i confessed right away as the person i bought for was really pleased as showed someone did listen to him!

To be honest i would still join in but buy a pair of m&s gloves don't look too cheap but is!

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