Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

AIBU to want to avoid office secret Santa

61 replies

ClaireDB · 27/10/2011 10:59

At the office Christmas party they are having a secret Santa. I've not worked there long and don't know many people well, there's also a lot of nasty office politics. I haven't done it before but think secret Santa is a bad idea, main reasons are: im not into consumerism (working in 'green' industry), I have enough 'stuff' already and assume the person would buy me something I don't want, i dont like the idea of a work colleague buying me a gift, I hate shopping, I don't have much spare cash or time, I think office politics would be involved... I wouldn't mind if it was optional but everyone who goes to the party has to do it. I actually asked if I could give my present money to charity instead but was told no because 'it would be a laugh'. After all there's nothing more fun than enforced joviality is there?! ;) AIBU??

OP posts:

ImperialBlether · 27/10/2011 13:40

OP, I think you have to wonder whether you're in the right job. You sound as though you really dislike it there.

You do sound a bit miserable - can't you buy a bottle of wine or chocolates - need it be mindless consumerism?

If you get something you don't like, just take it into a charity shop - they'll be glad of a brand new present - someone can buy it to give as a gift.

lovelyredwine · 27/10/2011 13:44

nickelbabe- we always worked out who had given what in the end!

kitya · 27/10/2011 13:50

OP, you are being a misery guts. If you havent been there long you should at least make an effort. We do it every year, this year we are spending £15 on each other so we hope to get something nice its usually soap and glory as its a treat. If you are spending less on each other than, a bottle of wine will suffice. It doesnt have to be much. You will get labelled if you dont. The one person who doesnt get involved with ours is a absolutely loaded. She never gives to anyones collection, never contributes to our little parties if someone is going like our cleaner who went last week after ten years and yet signs every card. It annoys everyone.

I really would lighten up. I dont get the office politics bit. Maybe we just all get on?

Balsam · 27/10/2011 13:53

YANBU to not like it but you won't do yourself any favours by opting out. People will think you're miserable and weird. Just roll your eyes inwardly and go along with it.

worldgonecrazy · 27/10/2011 14:07

If you want to avoid consumerism, Oxfam do a gift of goat shit for a fiver, so that will be within most office santa budgets. You can make a joke out of it being a shit present so you're not seen as a bah humbug.

But YABVU to be such a bah humbug - there are precious few reasons to have a laugh these days so make the most of it.

Original poster

ClaireDB · 27/10/2011 14:09

Thanks for your thoughts!! Well I've decided that I'm going to do the secret Santa, not because I want to though! Hope I don't get something really bad. :)

OP posts:

Original poster

ClaireDB · 27/10/2011 14:11

Bah humbug!

OP posts:

LoveInAColdGrave · 27/10/2011 14:16

Good decision, OP. Whatever you get, if you don't like it, the charity shop will be grateful for it.

squeakyfreakytoy · 27/10/2011 14:19

Well you can buy your gift for the other person from the Charity Shop (many do lots of new things) and donate the one you get to the shop too. Win win for the charity and you dont come out of it as a misery. :)

Bugsy2 · 27/10/2011 14:21

With you all the way ClaireDB - freakin hate office Secret Santa. Total waste of a fiver. We have a shit "lucky dip" thing where they make you publicly pull a gift out of Santa's sack at the Christmas Party & last year I got two wind up plastic elves. Some tight wad, hadn't even spent 50p on it, let alone a fiver.

LoveInAColdGrave · 27/10/2011 14:26

Ours used to be a £1 budget, which was actually more fun than £5, as everyone just got something really daft from the £ shop (silly string, stick on moustaches, that sort of thing).

Anniegetyourgun · 27/10/2011 14:26

This thread annoys me. People should not be railroaded into activities that others think are "a bit of a laugh" if it doesn't work for them. Isn't it enough to go to the party? It's not the OP but her colleagues who are uptight if they insist everything is spoiled unless absolutely everyone plays this particular silly party game. OK, it's not a big deal and one may as well go along with it as not, unless you're so poor that a fiver cap is going to hurt your budget to any noticeable extent, but I'm an awkward enough sod that telling me I "have to" (when I quite clearly don't) makes me run hard in the opposite direction. Saying you have to play or you can't come to the party is bullying, frankly.

Since you ask, I've had a tidy few Christmas parties and lunches over the years, a few of which have included Secret Santa, but I never chose to participate in that aspect. And it never caused my colleagues to call me a spoilsport, because they were nice people.

It's all part of the "if you don't do Christmas like this you're doing it all wrong" mentality IMO.

[awards self medal for resisting the opportunity to invoke Godwin's Law]

nickelbabe · 27/10/2011 14:31

good plan squeaky - they do some lovely new stuff in a lot of the charity shops these days, too.

SardineQueen · 27/10/2011 14:32

Oooooh I hate office secret santa.

The whole thing is a total PITA. For all the office politics reasons etc. And people usually get stuff they don't like. And there are always a couple of presents that are really nasty - I've been in offices where people have opened hair dye, deoderant, dildoes, in front of everyone and been utterly humiliated.

Having said that, it's not really something you can opt out of as everyone will then label you a miserable bore...

academyblues · 27/10/2011 14:33

YANBU.

The BEST bit about being freelance is not having tired looking tinsel draped over my computer screen, having to write a zillion cards to people I see yet don't speak to every day and not having to partake in the tedium that is Secret Santa.

RubyLovesMayMay · 27/10/2011 14:36

Im with Annie on this

So because she doesn't want to do something she's miserable because "everybody's doing it"

I find Secret Santa quite amusing, but I think it depends entirely on the type of people that you work with and your realtionship with them.

"telling me I "have to" (when I quite clearly don't) makes me run hard in the opposite direction" I live by this rule

aldiwhore · 27/10/2011 14:40

Office Secret Santa... humiliation and mockery by stealth. Meh.

Do it. But be the one to buy a 'naice' gift.

Don't take it personally, don't put too much thought into it, don't ever try and find out who is actually was that bought you a pair of lacey knickers... because after much soul searching, worrying about office pervs, scared feelings that you may have a stalker, expecting the postman to deliver severed fingers wrapped in festive paper and generally having a mini b movie breakdown only to find out it was the lady who sits opposite you and genuinely thought you'd like them.... you'll feel that you wasted a few days of your life.

(I gave the knickers to the cat).

SirHumphreyAppleby · 27/10/2011 14:42

Somewhere I used to work had a £10 budget, and everyone was so worried about not getting value for money, that they all just specified a gift voucher from a particular shop. Not really in the spirit of things, I thought.

SolidGoldVampireBat · 27/10/2011 14:47

I get why you don't want to do it, but is it really worth labelling yourself as the office self-righteous whinyarse for the rest of your career there? As someone else said, you can buy nice gifts (including actual new stuff) in charity shops these days, so ease your conscience by doing that.

SansaLannister · 27/10/2011 14:50

You sound like a real team player.

squeakyfreakytoy · 27/10/2011 14:51

We had a salesman who all the women knew was a bit of a letch... his secret santa gift was a bottle of listerine and a pack of condoms

Anniegetyourgun · 27/10/2011 14:57

"Self-righteous whineyarse"? What's wrong with "no thank you, I'd rather not"?

Original poster

ClaireDB · 27/10/2011 14:58

Glad I'm not the only party pooper! It should be optional i think but as we are all paid reasonable amounts and it's s fiver it's probably not worth making a point about. It's the 'having to do it' that put me off.

Oddly, the 'go on, it's only a bit of a laugh' reply reminds me what blokes used to say about putting up topless calendars in the office! It is a bit bullying, but obviously in the ss case its not meant like that at all!

Im buying that goat poo from oxfam then.

OP posts:

LeNameChange · 27/10/2011 15:00

Oh, I've had GREAT presents with SS. But your office sounds horrid.

ChaoticAngelofSamhain · 27/10/2011 15:05

YANBU

I'm with Anniegetyourgun on this too.

I also find comments like "You're a barrel of laughs." or calling someone a misery just because they don't want to join in with someone offensive and manipulative.

Flip

1 2 3