To dislike the term PFB

[TheBloodCountessBathory]

My reasons being:

The PFB threads on here strike me as stealth boasting about what a good mother the poster is ie. "oh I read the works of Shakespeare to my one week old, wove her clothes by hand and only fed her organic veg that I grew in my own garden - ha ha aren't I silly!"

It makes me feel guilty - I had a lot going on during DD's first year so I didn't really have time to worry about the finer details, and I would have left her with the local postie had he offered, just to get a break. I would say I have a very relaxed parenting style but when I read those threads I feel like I SHOULD worry more about the little things (not confessing my lax mother mistakes on here, unless someone else goes first!!)

PFB isn't a badge of honour, it's a poky stick with which to tease neurotic mothers. You've got it back to front.

And of course you're not being unreasonable to have your own thoughts about anything. Think what you like.

YANBU to dislike the term.

However you don't understand what it means, so maybe you will change your mind when you do understand.

PFB is not "Highly esteemed; cherished", it is "Affectedly dainty or overrefined". It is not "my baby is so precious", it is "you are being precious about your baby, give it a rest".

YABU for the reason ShowofHands has given.

oh god just ignor, most of us don't think we're gods gift to mothering.

My dd was the best thing in my life when she was tiny (as i'm sure your DD was) but i was still me and i still had a life/worries/thoughts/feelings etc etc that didn't involve her, and i'm damn sure not going to let the fact somebody else is wasting using their time with their newborn differently to how i wasted my time with mine

cheer up, you're a wonderful mummy for even worrying about it

You've got it backwards - PFB are parents whose child has cut a tooth and it isn't brilliantly white, or somesuch nonsense. Not boasting, but neurotic.

What SOH and Trills said.

You sound healthily normal, ignore those threads, your DD made it past her first birthday so you're obvioulsy doing something right!!!

My DD1 had her bags packed ready for the postie on many an occasion, I can assure you. We used to go dog walking with 2 old ducks who took me under their wing. We'd go out at 8am outside my house. Some mornings I'd throw a fleece & jeans over my PJ's, put a jumper on top of DD1's babygro & cover her with a blanket just to get out before I throttled her!!

Parents of PFBs quite possibly do think they are wonderful mothers. the rest of us think they are being daft.

Don't feel guilty about being a "decent enough parent" - it's what most of us are, most of the time, and we turn out decently well-adjusted children who don't think the sun revolves around them.

I don't like the term but for a different reason, I think its the sort of superior thing hackneyed longtoothed old mums say to dismiss the way new mums feel about their babies and their new responsibilities.

I think being 'PFB' is a phase a lot of people go through, and then come out the other side. I have got to know a new mum, wow is she neurotic, but her baby was prem and she is finding it all quite scary so instead of teling her she's a twat I try to listen. She'll work it out in her own time.

Isn't every new first timer a bit PFB? I have found this in RL.

I was pfb for sure. I still am. With both of them.

OP, in that case, join the Bad Mothers Club.

It is a smaller website than MN, but was my first choice forum, years ago, not sure it's still running?

I thought it was used to take the piss. I wouldn't worry - my husband asked the baby (8 months) - "where's Mummy?" and she looked at the dog

I think we should take a moment to remember just how PFB we all were.

all if us.

Yes I mean you!

I am particuarly laid back due to my DC outnumbering me and outwitting me.

But when I had DD OMG as they say.

I think it means something totally different OP

PFB to me, means you expect the world to stop turning to accommodate your child and anyone who doesn't put your child before them or theirs is the anti christ

Not a grain of sugar passed that girls lips for two years

DC5 was practically weaned on treacle and condensed milk (I exaggerate for effect)

I remember having every nursery gadget going for DS1 one and an elaborate 'hook over' bath that was a bugger to fill and empty (let alone store)

DS2 and DS3 got dumped in the sink and scrubbed down

I think your mistaken in your understanding of PFB see SoH post and i was totally p first b i cringe at the things i did.

I'm tempted to send the baby off with the postie now you've all mentioned it.

(disclaimer: DH is the postie I'm talking about)

Maryz - in my defence as a pfb of two, one of whom is older, one of mine nearly died a couple of times so whenever I relax and think 'chill out, it'll be fine' my little neurotic gremlin pops up to spoil the fun

I used to bake my own beans. [hblush]
I still get gently ribbed moithered for it now.
Friend to her friend 'Oh this is Wilson, remember I told you about her? Yes, she is the one who baked her own baked beans.

DS is 6 now and I bulk-buy Heinz. Obviously.

I pretty much fumbled my way through babyhood with DD1, thinking I was doing a reasonable job; however, there was but a fraction of the latest thinking/parenting styles/gurus that seem to exist at present.

I can't help thinking that some poor sods these days feel pressured into PFB-dom - there are so many Schools Of Thought, so many desirable gadgets/objects (I mean the pushchairs - I can't get over the price of them!), so many imagined hazards and dangers - I can see how daunting that must feel to a new parent, especially if they are a bit on the insecure/anxious side.

I'm not saying that there wasn't PFBism in the late 80s/early 90s - oh lord, the competitiveness was there in bucketloads - but now the pressures seem to be so much greater.

Is it partly due to the IT revolution, the bombarding of information we are all now receiving? What, in essence, has it actually changed?

I agree there Talc

When I had DD and DS1 you had to buy a baby magazine or go to the clinic to get information (unless you had lots of 'interested' female relatives).

Now its bloody everywhere and you know that people are judging the things you do (if not you personally) because they tell you on MNs!

I dont know how first time parents cope nowdays, I really dont.