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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that you should stay home if your baby has a cold

115 replies

lucindapie · 27/10/2011 07:18

I went to a mums and babies group for first time two days ago, the leader of the group's baby had a cold, and was sneezing and dribbling snot all over the place, now I've woken up with a sore throat, headache, generally feeling crap!
i know she was the leader of the group so kind of had to come, but could she not have got a substititute so her baby wasn't spreading germs everywhere!
In her words the baby was 'getting over a cold' but I don't think this applies if he is still contagious! I am so pissed off.

OP posts:
WillbeanChariot · 27/10/2011 08:11

YABU. And I have a DS who was premature and extremely vulnerable. I wouldn't take him to visit a real newborn if he had a cold, as in a matter of days old. But I will take him to all his usual groups. In fact his swimming group instructions specifically say it's fine for them to attend with a cold.

As for staying off school, are you serious? Can you imagine how it would go down with the school, or with your employer if you had to take time off work to be with them?

It is annoying, I get many more colds since I had DS, but YABVU.

ghoulionine · 27/10/2011 08:13

However, no one likes running them and the airy "oh why doesn't she just get a substitute" makes me snort.

Yep, ask someone to give over two hours of their morning for no payment, move toys back and fro breaking your back making sure that every child and adult is fed and watered and tidy everything on your own at the end because everyone has something they urgently need to be at after toddlers group and see who puts their hand up saying "me ,me,me,please!" with an exited look on their face.Grin

I actually really like running it (must be a gluton for punishmentWink) although I would prefer if I had some help setting up and tidying but sometimes people expecations of what they can actualyy demand from you are quite staggering. When I cancelled mine for two weekly sessions because my child had chicken pox I was told something on the line of "ok the first week you could not arrange anything but surely for the second one you could have arranged for someone to look after your DC while you were running the group!" Thanks goodness most mums were very understanding but this one really shocked me on the selfishness level!

sevenoften · 27/10/2011 08:14

The chance of you catching something off a baby are pretty small - you've seen so many bugs before that they haven't. It's probably coincidence anyway.

FearTricksPotter · 27/10/2011 08:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nenevomito · 27/10/2011 08:18

Not at all FearTricks, I work in a university and the bloody freshers have had us all coughing and sneezing since they arrived. Bloody students coming into where I work with their horrible mutated germs!

YABU OP. October to March is perma-snot time in our household. I can remember when my pfb caught their first cold (off me) but since then they've got their own back by infecting me at every opertunity.

nenevomito · 27/10/2011 08:19

opportunity

kipperandtiger · 27/10/2011 08:19

It's likely that you caught the cold from someone and somewhere else. Two days is a very short incubation period for a cold, and adults tend to get it off other adults, your own children, doorknobs, shopping trolleys, tables, other public surfaces, etc etc. I've never heard of people catching it off other people's babies, unless you were holding her baby a lot (which I'm guessing you didn't). Have more rest, lots of honey and lemon drinks, and try to see it as a good excuse not to do too many boring chores.

Rillyrillygoodlooking · 27/10/2011 08:20

YABU. My DCs have runny noses nearly the whole of winter, and I only keep them away from things if they have a temperature. As others have said, we would never leave the house if I waited for their noses to be dry.

FearTricksPotter · 27/10/2011 08:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid · 27/10/2011 08:23

YABU
No one is able to control their germs, you can reduce the risk of infecting others but you can't eliminate the risk.
If you want to eliminate the chance of your baby getting a cold then you need to stay in doors all the time. You can't expect others to call a halt to their lives for every sniffle.

JarethTheGoblinKing · 27/10/2011 08:27

Aww bless.

DS had to go to nursery at 1yo. He caught every single cold going and it was a miserable miserable winter. He's now seemingly immune to everything (almost 4yo), and even the cough/cold that has knocked me and DP sideways hasn't even touched him.

So YABU. Obviously.

PickleSarnie · 27/10/2011 08:27

You could get one of these Anti-Germ Bubbles and live there until spring?

Hungrydragon · 27/10/2011 08:27

It's incredibly hard to know where you picked up a cold. I struggle with this as I do worry about people with immunity issues. But the amount of times I have started a toddler group with a snot free child and left with one dribbling mucus is not small.

If it is just a cold UABU. I don't think people should bring unvaccinated older children with them to baby groups of under one year old in case that child is carrying mumps or measles .... But I have to accept that as my issue and so Ds and dd didn't attend such groups till they had been vaccinated. Why should I deny their choice for mine?

Equally .... You could attend other groups, or have left as soon as you realised. I doubt the majority of attendees would want the group cancelled over a cold.

Bonsoir · 27/10/2011 08:30

YANBU. Everyone should stay at home, both in order to get better and not to spread germs, when ill if humanly possible.

halcyondays · 27/10/2011 08:31

Yabu, that would mean staying home pretty much all winter, babies and toddlers have so many colds, you'd be pretty much housebound from October to March. I've still taken my dc out as long as they were still feeling well enough to go, if they had a cold. I wouldn't take them out if they had a tummy bug or chickenpox etc etc.

And no, you cannot keep them off school ever time they have the slightest sniffle or they would miss an awful lot of school.

JarethTheGoblinKing · 27/10/2011 08:31

Cool. I'll go home then :)

justaboutstillhere · 27/10/2011 08:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LadyMontdore · 27/10/2011 08:37

What I absolutely hate is one someone turns up at work, revolting with cold, and expects everyone to be impressed at their dedication. No we aren't, we just want you to GO HOME!

Megatron · 27/10/2011 08:37

I disagree that children get better quicker if at home with losts of rest if it's just a simple cold pink. I work in a nursery and while some children clearly should not be there because they are actually ill (and we send them home), others have a cold and are not 'ill' as such and very often perk up as soon as they are running around enjoying themselves. Obviously that doesn't apply if they are really unwell.

Iggly · 27/10/2011 08:38

YABU

You're more likely to catch a cold from not washing your hands frequently, touching a germ ridden surface and touching your mouth/face/eyes. Not from a baby snivelling in a corner Hmm

LadyMontdore · 27/10/2011 08:38

And if your dc has anything more than a 'snuffle' - ie a temperature too, then yes you should be at home because it's not kind to drag the poor child around just because you are bored at home!

FlossieFromCrapstonVillas · 27/10/2011 08:39

You could have got the cold anywhere; Change given in a shop, door handles etc etc. Colds are a fact of life, you can't stay in all the time, they can go on for ages.

JarethTheGoblinKing · 27/10/2011 08:48

Haha, if I went home every time I got a cold I'd have the whole winter off..

(sounds quite appealing actually!)

LiegeAndLief · 27/10/2011 08:49

Ha ha ha ha at children staying away from school when they have a cold until they can blow their own noses. At this time of year at least half ds's Y1 class has a snotty nose at any one time and yes, they are technically capable of blowing their noses, but most seem to prefer the "wipe nose on sleeve" or "pick nose and spread snot over nearest available surface" technique.

ledkr · 27/10/2011 08:58

If you developed a cold 2 days after your trip to baby group then you were already intubating it and didnt catch it from the baby.

I do hope you stay in utill yours has gone.

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