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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Yes I'll do everything

31 replies

witchyhills · 26/10/2011 23:57

After coming back from NZ from rugby final, DH not very happy that i couldn't get his clothes dry, so couldn't pack for him.
He left 3 loads of washing,wouldn't tell me exactly what needed washing, just had to sort it out for myself.
And now has left me a list of what to pack for him tomorrow. Not a problem as we are not leaving til tomorrow night, but he had now gone up bed in a strop

FFS. Grow up
I have just ironed your trousers dry
I have just sat in a restaurant and listened to you talk about work non stop, and answer emails, and I even answered your phone and talked to your colleague. But fuck me if I need to respond to a friend about tickets for ds's birthday

Fuck off, I dont actually really want to go away with you,

OP posts:
PomBearAtTheGatesOfDoom · 26/10/2011 23:59

So don't go. Leave the packing, and the ironing, and all the shit, and go to bed and get some sleep. In the morning, get up, leave the house, and on your way out the door, say "have a nice time dear, see you on and walk.

GypsyMoth · 27/10/2011 00:02

Dear lord!! What is wrong with MN??

Another slave to her man! This is NOT 1950!

giyadas · 27/10/2011 00:03

Hand him back his list and tell him to get on with it.

giyadas · 27/10/2011 00:04

and what ILoveTiffany said.

squeakyfreakytoy · 27/10/2011 00:08

Jeeze, I am fairly laid back and happy in my housewife role.. but even I would tell my husband to go fuck himself if he expected me to do all that for him.

BabyDubsEverywhere · 27/10/2011 00:10

No no no, play the long games here...still go on the trip together, dont mention a word about his list, act like you have packed his stuff, then hahahaha Grin no stuff when he gets there. I know its childish but so is your DH!

Original poster
witchyhills · 27/10/2011 00:19

Fuck him
Just posted long reply and lost it
Just fuck off, seriously. The world does not revolve around you

OP posts:
Wooooooooooooooppity · 27/10/2011 00:21

What? How much is this man paying you for this service?

Are you serious?

When did you become your DH's skivvy?

Why is it your responsibility to clean up his shit?

WTF is this all about?

I would tell him to pack his own fucking clothes and that he can also launder all of them himself for at least a year. And to fuck the fuck off and then fuck off again once he gets there.

Christonabike.

DuelingFanjo · 27/10/2011 00:24

serioously though, why would you even be doing this kind of thing for him?

Just don't do it. go to bed, have a sleep.

wherearemysocks · 27/10/2011 01:11

Pack him some really random stuff. A friend of mine once when he was going on holiday early the next morning got really drunk the night before, came home packed slept in a bit, had to grab suitcase and just rush to airport. When he unpacked at the other end he found that he had just packed a green wig, nothing else just a green wig! It was a hard samsonite style case so he didn't notice that it was empty, plus he was probably still drunk.

His, up to that point, very pissed off at the state of him gf, did laugh at him then.

Original poster
witchyhills · 27/10/2011 01:43

But ladies you are missing the point. I have nothing else to do all day.
He has a very important job and i don't work so I need to do everything by the book. Everything he wants, surely that's fair?

OP posts:
BupcakesandHaunting · 27/10/2011 02:21

Tell him to go and fuck off across the sea in a big welly, the cheeky swine.

Tortoiseinadarkspell · 27/10/2011 02:23

What are you actually going to do about it, Witchy? Just bitch to us and then service your man like a good little wifie, or stand up for yourself?

scottishmummy · 27/10/2011 02:31

All the yo go sista easy for stranger to type
But in reality what gives?What will you do?
If you don't work,then go study/work plan your increased autonomy,and do think how the hell did you land up like this...and what you going to do

QuietNinjaZombie · 27/10/2011 07:30

Sm give it a rest. If she doesn't work that's her choice, being her Dhs skivvy isn't part of the plan. Stop telling sahm to go back to work, it's boring now.
Witchy tell him you're not his slave and if he wants stuff done he either does it himself or gives you the respect you deserve and asks nicely if you have the time to do it. No other options. Failing that.. Leave the bastard! Grin hope you're ok.

NinkyNonker · 27/10/2011 07:47

Fuck me, she doesn't need to go back to work, she needs to have serious words with her husband. I don't work, yet if DH was behaving like this I would be both astonished and furious. I do things for DH all the time, and vice versa but if he started telling me to do it and getting in a strop about it that'd be the end of that.

PomBearAtTheGatesOfDoom · 27/10/2011 08:13

^But ladies you are missing the point. I have nothing else to do all day.
He has a very important job and i don't work so I need to do everything by the book. Everything he wants, surely that's fair?^

would you like the piss giftwrapped? or just as it comes in a nice warm puddle?

BOOareHaunting · 27/10/2011 08:28

My EX-P was a bit like this.
Yep read EX nothing more needs to be said.

Oh and I DID work FT (for SM benefit).

YADNBU but you know that. Now you need to tell him, don't rant on here or you'll be calmer and go easier on him.

SquongebobSparepants · 27/10/2011 08:29

pom, I hope think the op is being sarcastic/not serious by that post.

I was a SAHM and did do most of round the hosue stuff but only as I had time for/could be arsed to do, if H started giving me lists and ordering/sulking then I would be very unimpressed.

I agree weith what quietninjazombie said.

loveglove · 27/10/2011 08:52

Your role is to look after your kiddies, not be a mother to him. As an adult he is responsible for himself, and that includes doing his own packing, errands and washing if it comes down to it.

FFS he isn't another child for you to look after.

pictish · 27/10/2011 08:56

Fuck that. You are a stay at home mum, not a housewife. You did not heave him out of your vagina, he is not one of your children.

Someone will only treat you how you let them, you know.

ledkr · 27/10/2011 09:46

I could cry that there are still men in the world like this who clearly think they are superior to women,and woman who do it all for them?

I would literally fall about laughing if dh asked me to pack his clothes or do his ironing,literally piss myself.

What will happen if you dont do it?What will he do?Shout,sulk do it himself maybe? I dont even do that stuff for my 21 yr old ds.

As long as there are women who will do this shit there will be men who expect it.

aldiwhore · 27/10/2011 09:51

Being a SAHM doesn't require you to be a doormat.

You choose to be a doormat.

You need to change your viewpoint OP, you do have a choice. Is this marriage one that was agreed upon in detail? Did you both choose this 1950's style of wedlock?

Even if you agreed to it, I think its safe to say its not working for you, or your DH, so you need to rearrange your marriage accordingly, it will become better, but it may not mean you remain together.

YOu need to decide what you want. I'm not going to call your DH a knobber or a twat, he's behaving like he's entitled to a servant wife because YOU are allowing him to think that way. YOU need to change.

If you agreed to be the subservient wife, he might not like the new you. Meh. Small price to pay.

BalloonTwister · 27/10/2011 10:03

Do you live in Stepdford OP? If not, then you really need to sort him out. Being a SAHM doesn't mean you have entered a life of service! I do, admittedly, do the majority of the household 'chores' in this house, as I am usually at home. I do NOT however, wait on DP (who doesn't have a particulary well paid job and therefore has probably made a few sacrifices for me to be able to stay at home with his baby) or pander to his every whim. You are at home bringing up his children, which is equally as important as his well paid job in my book. (Which is just as important in literary cirles as 'The book' so fuck him!)

Original poster
witchyhills · 27/10/2011 10:14

Oh dear.
Had a few drinks last night and I was ranting a bit.Cos he was annoying me.
It's not as bad as it sounds, honest!
He got back early Tuesday, went straight to work, tried to start his washing Tues night, but I said leave it, I'd sort it Wed. Had really busy day yesterday(bad day) and it pissed down. He is going straight from work tonight, whereas I will be at home. As some of his stuff wasn't dry it makes sense that I can pack his stuff. Also my mum was asleep in bedroom with his clothes in, so he couldn't get to them.
He did write me a list, but it's just a couple of tshirts.
I did iron his trousers dry for him to wear today, I dont usually iron much.
This is not really about him, it's more about how useless I feel. He doesn't make me feel like that, I'm bored and feel like all I do is boring housewife crap.
I am looking for a job, 300+ applications

He was boring over dinner rambling on about work, and he did get impatient when I was replying to an email, but we were leaving, and taxi was waiting

He did go to bed in a bit of a strop, but it's just cos he likes to be organised for trips. He does usually pack himself.
He was very grateful this morning for his trousers

OP posts:
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