Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

To want the nice piece of steak sometimes?

72 replies

Arachnophobic · 26/10/2011 20:35

DP is very helpful around the house. Not quite 50/50 but he does his fair share. We both work, and he is also good with the kids.

However it is fair to say he is extremely selfish with food. If he has choccie he won't share. If he has crisps and I ask for one he will only put one on my open palm and complain anyway. If he cooks and burns the food he will ensure I get the most charred food. If he does the shopping he buys himself sweets and ice-cream but none for me. He wont share what he has bought. And tonight he made sure he had the fattest plumpest rump steak whilst giving me the smaller fattier bit.

So I said "can I choose which piece of steak I have next time please?" cue him becoming extremely defensive over said steak.

I find this very funny in a sense but at the same time I cannot stand the selfishness and it gets right on my tits.

AIBU

OP posts:

NinkyNonker · 26/10/2011 21:50

Who are all these adults who don't like sharing with a 'loved one'?! I'm amazed! Apart from the Sancerre, that is a capital offence.

It isn't a man thing, or a large family thing (he is taking the best not just eating to survive) it is a selfish arse thing. I would say it was fairer/more normal to give the 'best' to the other, it is fairer that way. Again, I do make an exception for roast potatoes.

Thingumy · 26/10/2011 21:53

'Who are all these adults who don't like sharing with a 'loved one'?'

I'm one.

So shoot me!

NinkyNonker · 26/10/2011 21:59

I just don't get it. I'm no Dalai Lama by any means, but if DH asks me for a crisp he can have one, but I'd always offer anyway and expect him to.

Peachy · 26/10/2011 22:07

But why thungumy?

I often want one crisp; not an entire bag, so I ask Dh

It seems obvious to do so

Thingumy · 26/10/2011 22:10

why do you expect your dh to share his snacks?

If my dh is drinking a cup of tea and I want a quick sip because I fancy it-should he offer it over to me? Should my dh always offer a bite of his sandwich just in case I should want a taste?

Or should I make my own?

I make my own.

Maybe I am weird?

WeShouldOpenABar · 26/10/2011 22:11

i dont mind sharing i really dont i swear, but my mam waits until you are nearly finished something before she asks , so shes not taking one crisp from a full bag shes taking MY LAST CRISP which is the best one obviously

Peachy · 26/10/2011 22:17

He's happy to

as am I

why bin half a biscuit becuase I only want a bit?

maybe you are weird

Thingumy · 26/10/2011 22:24

ColdSancerre · 26/10/2011 22:25

I wouldn't mind sharing anything food wise with DP. He could drink half my cup of tea, eat half my bag of crisps. We're not even jealous over roasties (I just make loads). But Sancerre.

Seriously though OP I think whatever the reason he has food issues. Just challenge a nice kind way. I liked the idea of of saying let's swap plates.

Thingumy · 26/10/2011 22:29

Maybe I'm weird selfish about food due to being an only child....

Original poster

Arachnophobic · 26/10/2011 22:32

thingumy that explains it, totally!

OP posts:

discobeaver · 26/10/2011 22:32

I think he considers himself to be worth more than you. Thats why he gives himself the best food.

Original poster

Arachnophobic · 26/10/2011 22:33

Thanks disco

OP posts:

Thingumy · 26/10/2011 22:35

discobeaver · 26/10/2011 22:37

Sorry! Didn't mean to sound horrid, just if he never considers you should get the best bits, well, why doesn't he? You should get the nicest bits sometimes.

Thingumy · 26/10/2011 22:40

I just think he's a a bit of glutton and does not think.

He nice in all other areas,just tell him he's being a bit piggish and selfish in terms of food,I mean who wants the burnt bits all the time and a bag of haribo wouldn't go amiss occasionally.

ChippingInToThePumpkinLantern · 26/10/2011 22:41

It would bother me. Not the food per se, just his attitude.

My ex is the youngest of 4, not very well off, all 'good' eaters (mind your fingers!!) & he was never mean with food, always happy to share, wouldn't take the nicest bit or whatever...

I just can't understand people that don't say - 'I'm getting a satsuma/crisps/drink, would you like one?' that is mean & selfish.

NinkyNonker · 27/10/2011 07:37

That's what I was trying to say Chipping, surely if you are getting up to get something you offer the other one too? Similarly when I do the shopping I buy nice stuff/treats for both of us.

GuillotinedMaryLacey · 27/10/2011 07:47

You need a whiteboard thing on the fridge. DH always writes anything he especially wants on it so when I do the order I know what to get him if it's out of the ordinary. If I'm buying a treat for me or dd then I'll buy him some as well or an equivalent that he likes. I would never buy 2 cakes and leave him out.

Always getting the manky dinner is not on though. That's extremely selfish.

seeker · 27/10/2011 08:04

If you're serving food you serve yourself last. And if there is a "best bit" you certainly you don't take it yourself! That would be so rude and just ...icky.

Chandon · 27/10/2011 08:17

you both have issues.

If he has a small (kids) bag of crisps, and you fancy some, why not get yourself a bag from the cupboard? This problem can be solved by buying big family (sharing) bags, put a big bowl on the table and all share. Like normal people.

Regarding chocolate, if my DH fancies some chocolate and opens a bar (again, a BIG bar not a puny kids' one) he always starts by offering me some.

If we have 1 piece of cake left, we will check if the other person wants it before eating it.

If we have 1 good steak and one fatty burnt one, we cut both in half, or both offer to take the burnt one.

Surely it can't be US that's weird? Noooooooooo

iscream · 27/10/2011 08:42

Yanbu. It is common courtesy to offer someone something when you are having it, not just get a drink or snack or whatever and just eat it.
Reserving the best steak or largest slice of cake for oneself is greedy.
That said, if I got a satsuma out of the fridge and dh wanted to share it I would much rather get him one for himself. Which I would have already asked him if he'd like one, before even getting it. If there was only one satsuma left, I'd probably ask "Do you want to split this, it's the last one"?

Flip

1 2 3