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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is really cheeky?

63 replies

AVoidkaTheKillerZombies · 25/10/2011 18:09

I meet up with the people I met at the NCT when I had DD - we all meet up once a month.

We only have one baby left who hasnt had a birthday. The last time we met up she (the Mum) asked if we could meet up at a soft play place. It transpired that she wanted her DD to feel like she was having a party but she didnt want to pay the 'extortionate' prices for parties.

I was a bit Hmm at that but as we are going to meet up anyway so its not too much of a bother, but she has this afternoon emailled a list of prestents for her DD's 'Party' - so she expects us to pay for our own children to go to soft play and buy a gift, and all the presents on this list are £15+.

AIBU to tell her we will come to the 'party' but I am not getting a gift. We havent doen gifts as a group before so its not like its a tradition.

OP posts:
Fiercelydoesit · 25/10/2011 19:01

What an outrage - snaring her nct crowd in order to secure gifts for her daughter that she doesn't want to shell out for herself and then being too mean to cough up for a 'party', not that one year olds really need anything a ''venue'. That is shameless. Why is it that wish lists like these crop up in the most inappropriate situations? I would drop her if u can

LoveBeingAWitch · 25/10/2011 19:07

You could reply with a request for the menu options for you and your child for the party lunch?

SuePurblybiltFromBitsofCorpses · 25/10/2011 19:09

Before MN I never knew people like this existed. It makes me feel itchy inside that I can't slap each and every one of them Grin.

exoticfruits · 25/10/2011 19:10

Yes it is cheeky-I would just think of a prior engagement that you had 'forgotten'- or do the £1 each, one thing from the list between you idea given earlier.

JeanBodel · 25/10/2011 19:13

There are no circumstances where I consider it reasonable to be:

a) spending £15 on a gift for a three year old (who is not related to me) and
b) sending out a gift list for said three year old

This is madness.

skybluepearl · 25/10/2011 19:16

If she is paying you all in then a small gift would be fine. If she isn't paying you in then it's very cheeky. It's bad manners to email a gift list anyway.

sue52 · 25/10/2011 19:16

When someone is being openly greedy in this manner, I like to try and shame them by giving an Oxfam donation thing. She sounds a bit too thick skinned to take the hint though.

LetUsPrey · 25/10/2011 19:17

Arf at Sue feeling "itchy inside". I'm stealing that one. [hgrin]

pootlebug · 25/10/2011 19:17

What JeanBodel said. She would come across as greedy even if she were hosting a 'proper' party. As it is....just unbelievable.

LetUsPrey · 25/10/2011 19:17

Oh and YANBU.

RoaminGloamin · 25/10/2011 19:32

Everyone's agreed - YANBU - but what are you going to do?

FlyingPirates · 25/10/2011 19:40

Like other have said. If you attend a party at a soft play you dont pay. So you are paying there. Then, for most childrens friends, you spend about a fiver. So you are putting your hand in your pocket there as well. I would find a last minute excuse and not attend.

OR I like the idea of all of you clubbing together to get ONE present. So the ONE present sits in the middle of the table. She might get the hint about how rude she is then! Grin

ionysis · 25/10/2011 19:43

Incredible. Just incredible. Where do these awful peple lurk - I'm so glad I've never come across anyone like this - the sense of entitlement is just - wow.

ENormaSnob · 25/10/2011 19:45

Omfg she is rude.

HeadlessForHocusPocus · 25/10/2011 19:49

Yep, one present off the list from all of you. The bloody cheek of some people!

Pollykitten · 25/10/2011 19:51

A £15 present for anyone under 7 years old is completely ridic.

Original poster
AVoidkaTheKillerZombies · 25/10/2011 20:18

I am going to go to the 'party' and just take a card.

I am a bit of a wimp though. Maybe I will ask if she sent the gift list by mistake, was she meaning to send it to her family members.

OP posts:
plupervert · 25/10/2011 20:21

To be honest, I'd quite like to send out a list of crap not to buy my child! Sure it would be more popular in some quarters (even if it made me look like a snob and/or lunatic to others).

Grin
olibeansmummy · 25/10/2011 20:33

YANBU, unbelievable cheek! If you don't do presents with this group of friends then don't buy anything for this child and whatever you do don't buy off the list!! ( before you turn up without a present though make sure she is actually expecting you to pay and not planning to pay for everyone).

ILoveDolly · 25/10/2011 20:36

woah - cheeky doesn't even come into it - the list idea is just mad! YANBU

lobsters · 25/10/2011 21:04

I'm normally a lurker here, but this one really made me laugh, she is beyond cheeky. With my NCT Group we do a sort of secret santa for birthdays which seems to work really well. Imagine if everyone in your group expected a £15 present, it would cost you all a fortune

MissVerydead · 25/10/2011 21:10

This is a very good example of why, in RL and on MN it is better to be a mini-quiche.

plupervert · 25/10/2011 21:37

Yes, yes, I had forgotten about secret santas, which we did at the beginning, too! Excellent idea. Some people did swap, but that itself was civilised, and especially compared to this sort of behaviour!

DogsBeastFiend · 25/10/2011 21:49

How rude! Is there a gobsmacked emoticon?

Stay123 · 25/10/2011 21:57

Am amazed at her rudeness. I would never dream of issuing a gift list for my child. Meeting at a soft play place and making you all pay is so tight too. What do the other mums in the group think?