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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be desperate for a baby girl? and broody?

48 replies

Rollon2012 · 25/10/2011 00:06

I have one ds and an hoping to have more in ther future, I always wanted a mixture but vowed never to be one of 'those' parents who prefers a certain sex but here I am :(

I'm sooo broody and every time I see pink girlie things or little baby girls I just want to cry :/ I need an e-slap to snap me out of it.

OP posts:
worraliberty · 25/10/2011 00:09

Oh if I only had a pound for every disappointed parent of a little girl who refused to wear pink/pretty dresses/hair adornments Grin

YABU really, we get what we're given in life.

Cathycomehome · 25/10/2011 00:09

Well, I'm just desperate for a second child, don't care which "flavour", so from MY point of view, you ABU, but then I would be being unreasonable from my friend's point of view, as she has been trying for first as long as I have been trying for 2nd, and she is ten years older than me (and I am 34).

So yeah, I think YABU, but I know what you mean.

Original poster
Rollon2012 · 25/10/2011 00:11

I dont care if she doesnt wear pink, its just what it represents , plus newborns are at the mercy of my fashion sense muahahahaha

OP posts:
Cathycomehome · 25/10/2011 00:15

My son's eleven, I'm 34, and I REALLY want a baby - not happening, though, and it's all a bit miserable. So I'm over preferring a sex, just would like a baby really, but do appreciate I'm lucky to have the one child.

It's one of those things though, you can't help how you feel.

AgentZigzag · 25/10/2011 00:16

YABU to be desperate for a girl rather than a baby, but I can kind of understand where you're coming from and knew I was being unreasonable too.

Cathycomehome · 25/10/2011 00:17

Now we are being referred for infertility, I rather regret the 11 years of religiously observed contraception....

Original poster
Rollon2012 · 25/10/2011 00:20

that must be tough CCH hope it goes well for you.
, however however having become a mum so young I get the 'if only i'd had more life double sided coin.

OP posts:
Cathycomehome · 25/10/2011 00:30

Well I was only 22 when preg with my son, so i wasn't exactly OLD!

Cathycomehome · 25/10/2011 00:31

I, not i!

coldwed · 25/10/2011 01:04

Cathycomehome, me too! 34 and 11 year old son. Have been very broody of late and would absolutely be thrilled with a girl. I see nothing wrong with having a preference, so you are NBU OP.

scottishmummy · 25/10/2011 01:24

A female baby won't meet your need its you guessing and fantasising what you and a wee girl will be like.so in reality fair enough to be brooch but the ohhh ahhhh want a girl is nonsense,your kidding yourself on with faux a girl would be this and that we'd be so widdle happy...

sunshinestate · 25/10/2011 04:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sunshinestate · 25/10/2011 04:29

"I dont care if she doesnt wear pink, its just what it represents"

But seriously, what does it represent?

duckdodgers · 25/10/2011 09:22

Yes Im interested to in what having a girl "represents" Hmm

That you are more of a Mum than a Mum of boys?? (and oh yes as a Mum of 3 boys have I had plenty of that type of crap from people!)

3Of1And1OfTheOther · 25/10/2011 09:32

well that baby girl will still grow up to be a teenager-i have 3 and they are total nightmares!!! (love them really..!)

Familydilemma · 25/10/2011 09:35

Yanbu. You can't help how you feel and many people just don't understand. Fwiw, I think choosing carefully which RL people you express this to is a good idea. I felt this way even after struggling to conceive, but I didn't share it other than with dh. A friend of mine has made no secret of how disappointed she is that number three is a boy. I'm not sure how that will be with him. But perhaps feelings better out than in?

Aislingorla · 25/10/2011 09:36

Boys or girls, so what? They are all children, with the same needs, to be loved and cared for and allowed to be themselves regardless of gender.

Mishy1234 · 25/10/2011 09:39

I don't think YABU. It's human nature to have preferences and a lot of women really crave having a daughter.

I felt the same about having boys. I always wanted boys, even when I was facing having no children at all after 8 years of trying, IVF etc, I still had a preference. Of course when it came down to it I would have been ecstatic with either and I'm sure you will be too when the time comes.

NinkyNonker · 25/10/2011 09:40

Yabu. I do understand though, I wanted this one to be a boy for the mixture but equally a girl cause I know the form! But right now I'm just praying it's healthy, so that's all in perspective now.

MrBloomsNursery · 25/10/2011 09:43

I've never been broody for a particular sex, but I would like to tell you, that my DD doesn't let me tie her hair up or put clips in it...everytime I brush her hair she messes it up again, and all her "pretty pink" dresses or tights have skid marks on the knee where she's been running and then jumping on the floor on her knees and skidding across various shopping malls. She is our first baby, so she's not influenced by anyone. Girls ≠ pinky girls things!!

MrBloomsNursery · 25/10/2011 09:44

That &#8800 is supposed to be an equal sign with a strike through it...

rainbow2000 · 25/10/2011 09:48

duckdodgers ive 5 boys and i really didnt want any girls,i dont know why people dont believe this.If one had been a girl i would have loved it as well but i love my 5 little men.(1 not so little hes 6ft haha)

mrskbpw · 25/10/2011 09:52

I'm not a girly girl but I have two boys and I would really like a girl. So I don't think you're being unreasonable. You can't help how you feel.

I adore my boys. They are gorgeous things and I'm massively proud of them. I wouldn't change them for the world and having watched friends struggle with infertility and miscarriage and stillbirth etc, I know how lucky we are to have them. Doesn't stop me wanting a girl - as well as, not instead of my boys.

I don't really like pink and Barbie and all that stuff. For me, it's things like not being able to share my favourite children's books with my sons (and yes, I know I can read them Ballet Shoes if I want, but believe me, they won't listen. It's Horrid Henry all the way in our house) and the biggest thing of all is that I'll always be a mother-in-law. I know that shouldn't matter, but it does. I have a brilliant relationship with my mum and though she also gets on really well with my brother, their relationship is very different.

So, I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. As long as you know you get what you're given and don't let it affect how you feel about any future children you may have.

Mishy1234 · 25/10/2011 09:52

5 boys rainbow2000, how lovely! My best friend was from a family of 5 boys and I LOVED going over there. I have 2 boys and they are just the best.

4madboys · 25/10/2011 09:55

well ihave 4 boys and one girl, totally expected no 5 to be our 5th boy, had a name picked out etc, but she is def a girl, but you know what, other than the fact that i am having a BALL dressing her in funky, pretty clothes, NOT pink i dont like pink, (well she has a bit of pink tbf) there is NO difference, she is just 10mths and developmentally is the same as the boys were at here age, she is a happy little thing, smiley, babbly, starting to try and talk and is crawling etc, but she still poos and pukes and is well a BABY, i shall see as she gets older if things change but a baby is a baby, so yabu from that pov, cos i dont see that having a girl is much different to having boys!

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