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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be desperate for a baby girl? and broody?

48 replies

Rollon2012 · 25/10/2011 00:06

I have one ds and an hoping to have more in ther future, I always wanted a mixture but vowed never to be one of 'those' parents who prefers a certain sex but here I am :(

I'm sooo broody and every time I see pink girlie things or little baby girls I just want to cry :/ I need an e-slap to snap me out of it.

OP posts:
jugglingwithpumpkins · 25/10/2011 10:10

Well Rollon - you can TTC a DC2 and see what that roll of the dice brings ....

It's natural to feel broody, and I think quite natural for a woman to yearn especially for a girl ( like herself)

You might get especially lucky, like me, and get to have one of each ... just as long as you know how lucky you are if you do. And actually I think I'd have been just as pleased with two DD's ... I do understand you feeling there's something special about having a daughter. I think Dad's can feel something similar about having a son.

I'm sure if DC2 is a boy you will still love him like you do DS1. And I'm sure DS1 would be especially pleased to have a little brother if that's how the cookie crumbles ...

Original poster
Rollon2012 · 25/10/2011 10:14

But seriously, what does it represent?

well if someones buying pink ususally means there having a baby girl which is what I want.

OP posts:
Original poster
Rollon2012 · 25/10/2011 10:19

I can't right now juggling-live vaccine :/ but hopefully soon

I think its is a desrie for someone of the same gender and I grew up in a house of girls so its my comfort zone as it were.

OP posts:
Flisspaps · 25/10/2011 10:21

MrBloomsNursery I think we share a DD!

For those of you wanting a DD because of the sharing things/different relationship elements - you could have a DD and STILL not have that experience, for example mrskbpw could have a DD but then she might not be interested in Ballet Shoes and want Horrible Henry, and you might find that you have a far better relationship with your DSs than a DD (my brother is far closer to my mum than I am, for example)

I think the problem is that people fall in love with the idea of what a child of a particular sex is going to be like, but that idea doesn't in any way reflect the reality of how it might actually be.

If the relationship or experience doesn't match up with the dream, would that then leave you feeling even a little bit disappointed?

CocoPopsAddict · 25/10/2011 10:23

Ok, so you try to have another baby, you hopefully get pregnant, you're just going to have to take whatever you're given, and count yourself lucky.

Is that enough of an e-slap for you? Grin

livinonaprayer · 25/10/2011 10:27

YABU to want a girl so much. Find this a sad attitude to have as the mother of 3 feral gorgeous boys.
Wanting a baby is of course not unreasonable but you need to get past the girl thing because as far as I know you don't get a choice!

SarahBumBarer · 25/10/2011 10:33

Well I have DS1 and am pg with DC2 and have no real preference as to whether it is a boy or a girl - possibly have a slight ache to see DS1 playing cricket/soccer with a little DS2 but at the back of my mind there is the little feeling that someday I will (probably) be some woman's mother in law and there are negative connotations with that (made worse by reading too much on MN I am sure).

I know having a girl is no guarantee of a good relationship and my daughter might be the one in a million who actually worships her mother in law etc etc but it is not my experience of life which is very typically that girls are closer to their mothers than boys by the time they are adults so I do understand the desire for a daughter. However it is no different to any other desire - you always have to be careful what you wish for so I don't really see why it deserves any more of an e-slap.

YANBU

mrskeithlemon · 25/10/2011 10:34

Op - I feel the same

Original poster
Rollon2012 · 25/10/2011 10:38

horrible isn't it mrskiethlemon

I know im BU but I cant help it, :(

OP posts:
mumto2andnomore · 25/10/2011 10:40

YANBU I would have been disappointed if I hadnt had a girl, may sound shallow but its lovely now shes 12 and we can go shopping, for lunch and coffee together and to see girly films while DH and DS go to football. Good luck !

Familydilemma · 25/10/2011 11:06

Sarah-I am that one in a million! (although i bet it's more common than you think).My mil is the one I turn to, share stuff with and really she is my mother figure. She has two boys and although I don't think she is calculated like that, she's ended up with two dil that adore her. And it's to her credit-she must have had some serious lip biting to do in her time. And now she also has two granddaughters to do make up and pink things with.

Familydilemma · 25/10/2011 11:07

Oh and thinking about it- I shopped for wedding dresses with another mother of two boys.

Original poster
Rollon2012 · 25/10/2011 11:09

I thinks its pretty natural to want at least one of each, I cant really articulate why but I know if that makes any sense.

OP posts:
SomekindofSpanish · 25/10/2011 11:14

I'm with familydilemma - love my MIL (but also love my mum) and I bought my wedding dress on my own Grin. Also, my girly days are with my sister, who has 2 DSs (I have 3).

YANBU, OP. I would have said you were about 10 years ago when DS1 was born, but my opinion has changed and that is because I got what I really wanted - I wanted 3 sons.

So I understand the need for wishing to have what you want, but I am sure you know, that it is not a guarantee.

Good luck if you going to try, anyway Smile

sheeplikessleep · 25/10/2011 11:25

YANBU.

I adore my two boys, they are my world and I love the fact they bring me such surprises and energy. As one of three with two sisters, my DSs are such a refreshing change and I love their boyishness and the fact their clothes are permanently covered in mud (no matter what anyone says, I do believe there are differences and yes probably caused by nurture but anyway).

We are deciding whether to TTC number 3 - I'd love a larger family (again growing up one of three, I enjoyed all the benefits of having more than one sibling and the energy that comes from that). But I'm wondering, could I cope with the energy, rough and tumbles, Thomas the Tank Engine with three (and inevitable food bills of three teenage boys!!). I jest, but YANBU. It's fine to have a yearning, but you must be happy to have another boy or it isn't fair on your DC2.

My yearning for a girl also has nothing to do with childhood. Everything to do with when they're grown up, I dread being the abandoned MIL (and yes I know there are exceptions, but I'd love the relationship I have with my mum - her being at the birth of both DSs, calling her when I need her, her great relationship with my DSs). Probably also because DH doesn't have a great relationship with his own mum.

Bit of a self-indulgent post here, but YANBU! But you know you'll be ecstatic with pink or blue, the moment your newborn is passed to you, it all becomes irrelevant anyway.

Original poster
Rollon2012 · 25/10/2011 16:53

Seems im not the only one maybe one day :)

OP posts:
Original poster
Rollon2012 · 25/10/2011 16:55

just saw 3 updates on fb about people having girls agggrrrrhhh

had to click off :(

OP posts:
lovingthecoast · 25/10/2011 17:07

I can see why people get defensive on these threads but the op isn't being unreasonable to want that different experience. It's not something that's ever been on my radar with 2 of each flavour but I'm the first to admit that it is a different experience. It's no better but it can be different. My DD1 is more boyish than most boys but I still know I'm parenting a daughter. DD2 is far more girly. I am very lucky to have experienced both and having two of each shows me that they are all different rather than fall into girl and boy camps.

I would never, ever consider having another child for the sole purpose of getting the other sex and I think people who do so need to stop and think. However, I don't think it's unreasonable for the OP to express that she'd like to experience the other side of things.

Original poster
Rollon2012 · 25/10/2011 17:27

well said lovingthecoast some people think im wanting to start a cult where girls only wear pink & shiz

i'm not very girly to put my OP in perspective

OP posts:
jugglingwithpumpkins · 25/10/2011 20:14

OP did remind me slightly of my younger brother though when he was talking about the children he'd like. He said, amongst other things, that he'd like twins, and I just thought, fair enough but you thinking that isn't going to make much difference you know ! Grin

  • Just a very gentle e-slap there OP [hsmile]
ILoveDolly · 25/10/2011 20:19

YANBU you're just broody - don't let the oestrogen ovverride your good sense - you know really that any little person would be lovely (and sweet girls who love pink also love snails and muck - that's the reality of children). Just don't go near those frilly baby clothes!! It's not healthy ;-)

LAbaby · 25/10/2011 20:21

No you're not being unreasonable, I would also like to have a daughter at some point in my life. I feel it's only natural to want to have the relationship with a daughter that i had with my mother.
It doesn't mean i don't want a boy, I already have one and would love a brother for my son.
We are planning on having three children so fingers croseed I can have both!

Original poster
Rollon2012 · 25/10/2011 21:35

im soo broody :( in reality i need to occupy myself with something to snap me out of it for a while.

OP posts:
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