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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to see We Need to Talk About Kevin when I'm 7 months pregnant?

60 replies

notlettingthefearshow · 24/10/2011 22:27

I absolutely loved the book when I read it 5 years ago, and have been waiting for the film to come out, which has also had excellent reviews. However, a couple of friends who have seen it have told me not to see it as it's very disturbing and not a good choice for me now I'm pregnant (1st child). I love a thriller/horror but I'm prone to giving myself nightmares and am a light sleeper anyway.

I'm due to go and see the film this week with a friend, but now I'm wondering if it will freak me out more than the book did. Or am I being oversensitive?

Has anyone else seen it while pregnant?

OP posts:
NoOnesGoingToEatYourEyes · 25/10/2011 00:04

Fifis25stottiecakes - "I have read the kevin books but they are hard to read iyswim"

Is there another 'Kevin' book?

ZonkedOut · 25/10/2011 01:26

You've read the book, so will know what to expect, I think you're the best judge of how it will effect you. Drop out if you think it will give you bad dreams, you can use all the good sleep you can get right now.

I saw The Butterfly Effect when I was pregnant, and wished I hadn't. The last scene got to me a bit.

cecilyparsley · 25/10/2011 01:44

I loved the book and plan to see the film

scottishmummy · 25/10/2011 01:59

Hated the book.really
Open minded about movie like Lynne Ramsay work,so she may polish. A turd

fargate · 25/10/2011 02:24

........... it's about untreated postnatal depression, isn't it?

Not the most cheery choice.

GothAnneGeddes · 25/10/2011 02:33

I loved Morven Caller, so would be interested in seeing another Lynne Ramsay film, but I don't think it would be this film.

Am pondering that so few films actually get motherhood right.

Actually, if you want a very, very sad but brilliant film about motherly love, there is an astounding Japanese film called Confessions. It's available via Lovefilm.

scottishmummy · 25/10/2011 02:45

I didn't read as simplistically as pnd
What about Eva her commitment to awap,ambivalence to it all,her expectations.got to say still didn't enjoy and saw the ohhhh ahhhh twist miles off

fargate · 25/10/2011 02:52

When is PND simple?

scottishmummy · 25/10/2011 02:54

It's not but this is made up schlock not a diagnostic account

fargate · 25/10/2011 02:59

My guess is that it's a fairly thinly disguised 'diagnostic account' that lionel shriver heard, somewhere or other. Probably from a therapist-type friend or acquaintance?

HidingInTheUndergrowth · 25/10/2011 03:31

I have to confess that I have told dp that I refuse to go see this while I am pregnant. Though I did go and see Alien the other day.

KittyFane · 25/10/2011 06:49

it's about untreated postnatal depression, isn't it?
That's debatable.

It's about a mother's relationship with her son who is a sociopath and grows up to be a murdering sociopath.
However much Eva has influenced Kevin's development is thankfully up for debate. The book is ambiguous.

angggla · 25/10/2011 07:21

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

Willabywallaby · 25/10/2011 07:31

I was planning to go and see it when I heard a good review on Radio 1, my Mum read the book and said it was very hard going and depressing subject, but I thought it was about a son with SN.

I thought it would be better than wading through the book. I read Lovely Bones and keep meaning to watch the film.

I find films/ books affect you unexpectedly. I read The Pact the week before I had DS1, won't read another Jodi Picoult because of it.

Cersei · 25/10/2011 09:52

I deliberately re-read the book when pregnant, I thought whatever I'm like as a parent or whatever my child is like neither of us will be that bad!

lesley33 · 25/10/2011 10:06

You have read the book, so you know what to expect. Go and see it!

To those saying the author hates kids - I think one of the things the book made clear is that we don't know if the mother in book is telling the truth or is in her own mind twisting events to fit what she thinks kevin was like as a child or in fact whether she made kevin that way. I think the film loses all that subtetly and it is less believable because of that.

lesley33 · 25/10/2011 10:09

The film is also less graphic than the book and leaves out a few very disturbing incidents.

TeWihara · 25/10/2011 10:19

I liked the book when I first read it (and didn't have kids)

I tried to re-read it early in this PG (my 2nd) in advance of the film coming out, and it just made me want to cry constantly. Eva's feelings about a tiny baby just seem so much more harsh when you have had one. I won't be seeing the film - particularly if it makes it clear that Kevin is at fault and not Eva. What I liked about the book was that you can't tell.

FancyForgetting · 25/10/2011 10:22

As long as you know what to expect and think you'll be ok, go and see it. You can visit the BBFC's website if you want to see the reasoning behind its classification (ie the depiction of disturbing elements).

I fancied a bit of rom-com diversion at 40+ weeks pregnant many years ago and went to see 'Jack and Sarah', having heard that it was about a couple who'd just had a baby. Unfortunately, hadn't read enough to discover that the mother died in childbirth Shock. However, the father ended up with the young, slim, blonde American nanny he hired - so that was all right, then Grin.

HappyAsIAm · 25/10/2011 10:46

I read this book about 7 or so years ago, and it was enough to put me off having children for a while. It really scared me, to the point that I was too uncomfortable to be able to think through why I was scared and whether what I was really feeling.

Then I had DS nearly 4 years ago, and it was all fine. [hsmile]

I would quite like to go and see the film. But I have yet to see a film that I thought was as good, or better than the book, so maybe I will be less traumatised now!

Rollon2012 · 25/10/2011 11:05

is the book worse than the film?

thatgirlsevil · 25/10/2011 11:50

Actually, if you want a very, very sad but brilliant film about motherly love, there is an astounding Japanese film called Confessions.

I agree, Confessions was excellent...stellar soundtrack as well.

I liked the book (WNTTAK) but did find it harrowing at times.

Lynne Ramsay's filmography is just flawless - Ratcatcher is in my top 10 and Gasman is one of my favourite shorts - so I'm hoping to see this and Tyrannosaur at the flicks next week. Just need to rope in a bebesitter...

dogindisguise · 25/10/2011 12:04

I read the book and enjoyed it, but it was before I had even met my DH. My threshold for watching TV has changed since then - I had to switch off a brain programme about those cruel experiments on mothering and baby monkeys. I haven't seen the film but I would like to - I'd say go ahead, if you like the book the film will probably be worth it.

Rollon2012 · 25/10/2011 13:11

Tyrannosaur looks really disturbing but good

lesley33 · 25/10/2011 13:37

"is the book worse than the film?"

I think the book looks at the premise of what makes someone become a teenager that kills his classmates. Lots of research shows that these kids in general, don't tend to come from badly abused backgrounds. So is it nature or nurture i.e. are children born like that, or do they become like that because of how they are treated? Or a bit of both?

I think the strength of the book is it never really answers this question. It makes it clear that Eva thinks Kevin was born that way and his father thinks any problems with Kevin are her fault or her being over critical. You get the impression from the book that maybe it lies somewhere in between - but maybe not.

The film, especially when Kevin is a young child, presents it as Kevin's fault.