To ask dn to wash his hands after his hands were down trousers and before touching dd ( 3 months)?

[Familydilemma]

I am persona non gratis because I did. I asked really quietly and kindly. He is really sweet with dd, but she likes to grab his hands and put them in her mouth and I just couldn't see hands down trousers out again and onto dd without saying something. Aibu?

No, yanbu.

Babies have to be exposed to some mankies at some point, but in this situation I probably would have done the same.

If somebody didn't like me saying it in a nice/gentle way, tough.

I can't see the problem. Its quite likely that your dn has worms if he is constantly scratching his bum. It is an absolute nightmare treating a baby for threadworm.

Did the mother object or was it the child?

The child got upset and I got a kind of telling off for embarrassing him.

Do you really need to ask!??

:o

i wouldn't have a problem with this - even without touching your DD I think it would be reasonable to ask him to wash his hands!

sorry, cross post. Maybe he won't be so inclined to fiddle in public in future then

I don't think I really needed to ask as such - more tell someone! Was quite cross! Inwardly. Hope it's not worms-loomed more like a rearrangement of trouser contents!

I do this all the time in our house. DS1 is constantly fiddling about down there, rearranging himself and god knows what. Every time I catch him doing it I point him in the direction of the soap. Sweat, stale urine and public hair = yeuch.

DD and I manage to keep our hands out of our pants - funny that

pubic even!

Thanks-one more for the list of things to teach ds before he has girlfriend/meets her parents. We have a while-he's only two!

YANBU out of interest how old is dn?

I will if he's 25!

No-luckily he's only seven!

X post
He got upset about that, really? Can't imagine a 2 yr old being embarrassed.

Oh I see I misread sorry

Note to self don't read MN while scoffing popcorn

you should have said it to a parent to talk to him, of course you embarrassed and upset him. Seven year old boys are sensitive creatures.

She's his Aunt - close enough for this sensitive soul to hear it from!

apparently not, since op says he got upset.

Maybe what he needs is a little embarrassment to get him to leave it alone in public. 7 is old enough to know that's not on surely?

DS is 4 and knows not to play with it in public

Well, it's just one of those things he'll have to get used to, just as they have to learn not to scratch their bums/pick their noses/wipe snot on their sleeves etc. Parents can't be summoned (nor would I want to be) everytime they do something like this.

I'm sure the OP did it nicely. Maybe there wasn't time to involve his parents. That would seem like a mountain out of a molehill, because she'd have to quietly talk to the parent, with DN there, who would get up and take DN out. In the meantime DN has touched the baby and who knows what else!

I agree, mrsstephenfry, but I didn't say why specifically he should wash his hands and there wasn't time to ask mum. He isn't used to being challenged much and I wonder if that's where the embarrassment lay rather than realising the hands down trousers thing. There was a gap between the hands coming out of trousers and towards dd!

There will be no lasting damage to his confidence, I promise you! It was the only way you could have dealt with the situation.

I hate men boys males in general who think it is appropiate to have their hands down their trousers in public and would definitly not allow it to happen in my prensence whether teh male in question was 2, 7 or 17. It is disgusting!!q!!!!!!!!!!!!