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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think my 5yr old shouldn't be pushed around by teaching staff

410 replies

youcantparkthatthere · 21/10/2011 10:50

Hi First post, this has been niggling away at me for a week now. I recently attended a ceremony and my sons school which was been held in the local church. He is in a class of perhaps 16 children. As I watched the children file in I became increasingly annoyed at how one of the teaching staff was manging the children. it was clearly the childrens first time at one of these events and they were understandably unsure of what to do. Some of the children were going into the pew in front of or behind the one the teacher wanted them to go in. However the teacher/TA's response to this was to repeatedly, and IMO, too roughly take hold of the children and physically direct them into their intended seats. We're not talking here about a guiding hand on their shoulders, more like two hands firmly on their shoulders abruptly turning them in the desired direction and pushing them into their intended place.
To me this is quite clearly using physical force to get a child to comply with instruction, as distinct from a reassuring physical guidance. In my line of work, social worker, this would be considered a breach of the children's act and consequently illegal. Similiarly if any of the staff I managed conducted themselves in this way, I would at the very least be forced to issue them with a formal warning.
I'm not a bleeding heart liberal, I believe children need very clear mangement and a sense of no meaning no, (along with yes meaning yes, i.e. keeping promises etc). The main thing that is getting to me is the fact that I'm sure the school would discourage the children behaving like this to one another, so the adults should be modelling this in their own behaviour.
I feel I need to speak to the headteacher but I'm worried this will either be blown out of proportion or minimised. I also dont want my son standing out in a small school as the child whose Dad interferes/overreacts.
Any thoughts. It pisses me of that people think they can negate childrens right to respect and civility just because their small.
In the spirit of fairness I should declare that I find the woman in question very cold and somewhat abrupt with the children, in stark contrast to the rest of the school team, (wholly unsuited to her job imho!)Sorry if too long.

OP posts:
SpringHeeledJack · 21/10/2011 19:44

OP- moral of the story is don't post in AIBU

particlarly if it's your first go

some of us old lags avoid it like the plague

enjoy your pint and your fag, and don't let AIBU put you off- mn is vair useful, most of the time

ps I think you were sort of right. Some otherwise prof folk do shove children around. It shouldn't be a default setting, the child-dragging- more an emergency one

Maryz · 21/10/2011 19:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scottishmummy · 21/10/2011 19:47

Hell ignore all the naysayers and etiquette.oile in and post,roll with the responses.and it is only words on screen,isn't real just bunch of birds with laptops,iPads

SpringHeeledJack · 21/10/2011 19:48

good user name too

wish I'd thought of it

SuePurblybiltFromBitsofCorpses · 21/10/2011 19:48

Do you know, I am starting to wonder if some of the threads on here - absolutely not looking at any one in particular - are started with the intention of taking offence and so being able to have a go at people hunting in packs or bjullying or quiching or un-funnning. It's the middle-aged cynic in me praps.

Maryz · 21/10/2011 19:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JamieComeHome · 21/10/2011 19:51

I work in a school, and I totally agree that getting a bunch of 5 year olds to do something quickly and quietly is like herding cats, so a bit of steerage is often necessary. That said, I think that we weren't there to guauge the roughness of it and if you felt it was brusque and rough, maybe it was.

OTOH, taking deep offence at a bit of badinage is not really necessary

JamieComeHome · 21/10/2011 19:52

(is badinage a real word or did I make that up?)

SuePurblybiltFromBitsofCorpses · 21/10/2011 19:52

I know, I know. It's a madcap, crazy sort of idea. Clearly it wouldn't happen.
But sometimes.........no, forget I spoke. The crazy fool that I am.

catsrus · 21/10/2011 19:52

poor mancub never stood a chance.

Still, sounds like he's at least managed to pass on his genes to the next generation so he should RIP.

Wine anyone?

Hullygully · 21/10/2011 19:53

I think it means naughty when elderly, James.

JamieComeHome · 21/10/2011 19:54

tee hee

I sink one should say eet in a franch accente

catsrus · 21/10/2011 19:56

ooh Jamie never come across it - but of course it's a word NOW and I like it, badinage, a sort of wicked banter?

TheGhostOfMrsWembley · 21/10/2011 19:56

Grin @ Hully

They'll be asking you to be a guest on I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue next...

JamieComeHome · 21/10/2011 19:56

yes. And another good one meaning the same is "raillery"

JamieComeHome · 21/10/2011 19:57
TheGhostOfMrsWembley · 21/10/2011 19:57

And I like a little bit of badinage myself - makes me feel like one if the gang.

TheGhostOfMrsWembley · 21/10/2011 19:58

) >

LeBOOOf · 21/10/2011 19:59

Raillery sounds superbe in a French accent.

KurriKurri · 21/10/2011 20:05

I'm sad the twit thread was pulled, someone said 'I totally agree with Kurri' on it, - I was so excited.

I love the 'us grown ups have been thinking...' speech, - most five year olds would be biting each other with boredom before you could get anywhere near the end of it.

In summary, SWs are generally good eggs, children shouldn't be hoiked by their collars and swung into pews, pomposity is a bad thing, - but OP is probably a decent sort and will be better after fag and pint.

(OP - how do you stand on calling children twits?)

activate · 21/10/2011 20:09

What a pile of cack

apologies but I've only read the OP

what a pile of poo

so so ridiculous I am lost for words which almost never happens

Maryz · 21/10/2011 20:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

madmomma · 21/10/2011 20:09

This is the same sort of mentality that makes early years staff too scared to give an upset 3yr old a hug. Such a shame.

JamieComeHome · 21/10/2011 20:33

the French have all the best words for banter, non?

TethHearseEnd · 21/10/2011 20:45

Yes, but they spoil them all by punctuating each beautiful word with "Eurrrrrrrr" for about thirty seconds.