to wonder if working dads are feeling guilty and stressed?

[RitaMorgan]

We hear a lot about working mums, struggling to have it all, missing out on time with their children etc. I have read a few heated threads over the last few days debating nursery care, women feeling guilty and upset about using childcare, other women suggesting they should feel that way.

I was wondering if fathers worry in the same way? There certainly doesn't seem to be an expectation that putting children in childcare should be a source of anxiety for men.

DP is a great dad, very involved and hands on, definitely an equal parent - and yet he wasn't really interested in choosing childcare at all. I visited lots of childminders and nurseries, read Ofsted reports, asked people for recommendations - DP basically felt that all Ofsted registered providers met the same minimum standards, would be safe, and so we should just pick the cheapest and most convenient.

Why is it so different?

Mine too.

My DH is self employed and working his arse off to top up the family's income while I am on ML. He has had three days off since our 5 week old daughter was born - is he guilty and stressed? Yes. Is he worried about bonding and being there for me? Yes (he was a SAHD with his DS1 and 2). Will this be better when I am back at work and we can share child care between us, my DM and childminder? Yes.
I don't feel guilty about going back to work or providing my daughter the enriching experience of spending time with her father, grandma and a fantastic CM as well as a roof over her head and being raised in a truly equal relationship with a mum and dad who can earn money and care for their children without the societal pressures of 'a child can only truly be happy and reach its full potential if mum is at home'.