To have let DS 3 wee in the street?

[BoobleBeep]

Was at the shops with DS today, he really needed a wee and both shops we asked wouldn't let us use their toilet because of health and safety. The only cafe I couldn't get my buggy with sleeping DS2 in so I took him around a corner and let him wee against a wall beofr ehe wet himself. I recieved a couple of dirty looks, was IBU?

Depends on which wall you chose.

YANBU. People giving you dirty looks may have been thinking - why doesn't she just ask to use a toilet in a shop, not realising you had already tried that.

"health and safety" regs override the DDA act - which states if you offer facilities to the pubic these need to be accessible to wheelchair users.

If a small cafe cannot be arsed to make its loos accessible to all then it might claim H&S as a cop out.

While many (most) local authorities insist on customer loos in cafes with sit down facilities it is not AFAIK a national legal requirement.

Basically if they let you use the loos with small DSs then they may be opening themselves to being sued under the DDA as it's all (rightly) about equality of access to services - it just leads to daft consequences like this one [hsad]

I was in a book shop in a shopping centre recently and saw a mum there get her little boy to pee into a bottle. She screwed a lid on and put the bottle away in the buggy. The whole thing only took about ten seconds. I was quite impressed.

I try to keep a travel john in the bottom of the buggy for emergencies like this - saves my blushes. They are great!

Sorry, my post should have said the gateway is covered so the rain doesn't wash it away (we have to hose it down or it stinks). So for us, yes, it's just as gross if it's a dog, although weirdly we see fewer people bringing their dog into our drive for a pee than we do themselves or their child. But I agree different if it's somewhere the rain washes it away. This is, however, a particular bugbear of mine as people pissing in our drive is a many times a day occurrence for us so I'm probably not the most rational person on the subject.

YANBU

i'd never be able to go out of the house with ds2 if he couldn't wee in a bush/down a drain in an emergency.

I might be a lone voice here and say YABU.

Never, never needed to do this with mine. Always thought a little in advance where toilets were or told them to wait. They always managed it.

I think I am particularly opposed to this at the moment as I saw someone I know letting their child do this right outside my house at the weekend and all over the tire of my brand sparkling new car. They were less than 5 minutes walk from their own house.

Clearly if a child has particular health issues, the question is entirely different.

I agree that peoples garden walls should not be used. A drain or bush is far better. DD was out of nappies very early on, she can hold it but there's a limit. Unfortunately with a girl a bottle won't do.

catsrus, thanks for the explanation, I had not thought of the fct that ifit was not accessible for disabled people they could not allow other customers to use the facilities either.

YABU, you should have planned better.

My Mum has a samll shop, and as it sells childrens things, she is sometimes asked if children can wee. Health and Safety is a big issue. If children have to go into her stockroom and through to the toilet, they risk tripping over things, or things falling on them. There is a LOT of stuff piled up in this tiny stock room, and if anything happened, she would lose her livelyhood because she's not insured for the public to go back there. The risk is small, but would you think the same if she didn't bother to have public liability insurace in the shop at all.

Also, on the odd occasion that she has allowed it with customers she knows well, the parents have allowed their children to wee on the seat and haven't cleared up, so she has ended up having to doing it.

Then there is the thing about it being a small shop, where she is often the only staff person there. Wherever she puts herself she could be burgled from, if she stays out the front people could steal from the stockroom, if she goes back with them, for all she knows, someone could be waiting for her to go out the back so they can steal from the front.

Even in bigger buisinesses people have jobs to do, I don't see why parents think they have a right to take people away from the actual jobs they should be doing to acommodate their bad planning. I can't remember ever having to do this with either of my children.

Slave it's not bad planning fgs young children are very unpredictable you cannot plan for everything. In that case young children should be allowed to wee descretely. For girls a bottle or the like will not do

Of course it is. You go into town and when you get there you make a toilet stop in one of the places you know have toilets, shopping centre or department store or whatever, then you shop, then you stop to eat or get a drink somewhere with a toilet, shop some more, then if needed do another toilet stop before the journey home.

You try forcing a child to use the toilet when they are don't need to. Easy said than done.

not unreasonable at all, you tried to find a toilet and couldnt.

i once let ds3 wee in a DRAIN at a bus stop as he was busting and we could nip off to shop as we might miss our bus, i got filthy looks and one old lady told me off, he weed DIRECTLY into the drain, not on the pavement, road etc, so i thought it was fine ,he was 3 and not long potty trained, you do what you have to do, drains, bushes, trees are all fine imo, i wouldnt let them do it against someones garden wall and try to be discreet and do it out of public view, but sometimes little ones have to go!

after 4 boys it will be interesting with dd, i suspect i shall use the pick her up and hold her in a squat with her legs out of hte way hold that i have seen friends with daughters do!

Can little girls use a shewee? Am seriously considering getting one for DD (2.6)...

YANBU, we try to find a bush or tree in a park if we can but occasionally when I'm lucky to have helped him with him pants and trousers in time. I hate it when people stare though.

Just googled the law about policemen being required to allow pregnant women to wee in their helmets if caught short.

Apparently it is just an old wives tale [hwink]

Have had to let ds wee against our own car wheel or down a drain on several occaisions

Once again am in awe of the older generations parenting abilities that they all seem to have had perfect, obedient, silent, non-sweet eating, children with bladders the size a bucket [hhmm]

As a one-off in desperation, I can understand it. i've only been caught short with my girls once or twice in seven years, and one time we did have to hide in a bush, it was quite embarassing. Long walks are another danger time, I've certainly peed in the bushes or behind a rock as a child.

But normally, no, it's unpleasant for everyone.

And, I'd point out that with girls, there aren't options to do this in towns, so obviously it can be done (or not done, as it were).

I don't agree at all mrbloom, children should never have their fluid intake restricted.

I've done this with all my children, with DD I would pull her pants down and make a seat for her with my clasped hands. DSs are much easier, of course, and if there are no toilets about, I will happily let DS pee down a drain. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with it.

Sometimes, depending on the state of the toilets available, I will choose to have him pee in the street than go in filthy, stinking public "conveniences"

DS can hold his wee for quite a while but on the odd time he has had to wee outside I have been too busy trying to ensure he doesn't wee on himself or see how high he can aim to notice any dirty looks YANBU, I can't believe people would limit a childs fluid intake so they do not need to urinate - that must be a wind up?

Iv been in numerous places with 'toilets 4 customers only' feeling guilty but feeling its better than letting dd or ds1 pee in street or wet themselves. But where there havent been loos they have gone elsewhere eg next 2 our car in carpark. Have seen ppl get pottys out in the street. If they need 2 go u cant stop ot & many dcs dont have the control 2 hold it in 4 long & often dont tell u til last minute that they need 2 go. Lo"s can go hours without needing toilet & sometimes need 2 go every few minutes. U cant plan 4 either