To just want to get and stay pregnant?

[farfallarocks]

I mean how HARD can it be, everyone else seems to be able to manage it judging by
a) my friends
b) the local park
c) my office

Argh!

YANBU.

I understand exactly how you feel and am so sorry so many of you are going through this.

I too went through it. After 3 years and 5 miscarriages, we decided we couldn't go through anymore and so agreed to call it a day on trying. 3 months after we made that decision we discovered we were pregnant with twins!

When the twins were 2 we had another... unplanned!

So, there is hope. Good luck to all of you trying xxx

Oh love.

I have nothing to say to help, but just wanted to sympathize. I hope it works out for you soon.

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way, and you are obviously NBU. Nothing else to say really.

Have some and a wee bunch of

x

Oops that would be not

YANBU.

Tis tough to stay positive somedays hey.

xx

your bf sounds lovely lissie and I find its people like this you need to surround yourself with.

It is nice to hear some success stories too, i think its one of the things that keeps me trying every month, the thought that after 19 months trying for #2 it might actually happen!

Just wanted to say I know how you feel. I'm sitting here recovering from my second EP/3rd MC. It's really unfair. However in the middle of all this heartbreak I have my beautiful precious DD (via IVF) so know I am one of the lucky ones. Had hoped she would have a sibling but looking less and less likely.
Hang in there, for some of us the journey is harder but it only makes the destination more amazing when you finally get there.... (wherever there may be)

buggerlugs, how are you doing now? periods sorted out?

any of you lovely ladies who are pissed off and struggling are welcome to join the hut in the infertility board. its a good place to wallow and rant!

alice and pandorra I love your stories, thanks.

And for all the flowers and wine!!

I know we will parents eventually, somehow (I think) just feeling a bit sorry for myself last night.

It has not been THAT long, 9 months and 2 early MCs to show for it. I suppose it just seems like everyone I know has got pregnant without trying or in the first month (literally!)

Op, I tried for 10 mths. Not long in the grand scheme of things but friends were pg after two or three mths. I believed I was infertile, turns out dh had a slightly lower sperm count. After I deliberately stopped trying, got a new job, found out I was pg. Hopefully it will be soon for you, perhaps when you least expect it.

Are you using ov sticks or anything like that?

YANBU....you think it will be easy...
fertility, pregnancy, childbirth...all things where we are subject to the brutal randomness of being just physical beings - you can't decide to conceive, miscarriage is not a choice....
i think very few people get a truly easy ride with it all. doesn't make it fair, right or tolerable though.

i often think how bloody marvellous my sister has been, i have no doubt she's thrown her phone against the wall many times (and often on my account: i am not gifted with tact)...years of that, and i get to be an auntie at Xmas :) ( to Dbigsis)

YANBU. I have been there and it really is awful. 8 years and numerous IVF cycles to have DS1. Then DS2 just arrived of his own accord, which was quite a shock.

We have some friends going through it all atm and about to start IVF soon. It's so hard for them.

I'm sorry you're feeling low OP.

Thanks angel, yes I have the works, OV sticks, monitors.
I know when I am ovulating and its pretty regular.

I know I just need to be patient really.

edless very glad your sis has got there eventually

Gawd I lurve mumsnet :)

God, I bloody love MN!

You've all just said exactly what I'm feeling for the last year.

I have one wonderful DS (so I know I'm one of the lucky ones), who's just turned 3 and I had absolutely no problems concieving him and 0 problems during his pregnancy and even managed to do up our old flat during later pregnancy (lots of work). Then, last year got pregnant again and had a nightmare pregnancy, in the hospital every week with big bleeds and eventually lost DD at 24 weeks. Then, lost another child in June when I was 11 weeks and have been TTC since then with no luck.

Everyone, fucking everyone is pregnant right now and seem to be having healthy pregnancies! I don't understand why me?

You know, I hate the person that ftc has turned me into. I'm so bitter and cynical now. Whenever I hear that someone else is pg I am filled with rage and bile. How dare they? Why not me? I feel like I'm in a waiting room and people keep coming in and being seen first. I've been waiting. I've kept all the rules and I smile sweetly and say it doesn't matter, but it does.

You know, I hate the person that ftc has turned me into. I'm so bitter and cynical now. Whenever I hear that someone else is pg I am filled with rage and bile. How dare they? Why not me? I feel like I'm in a waiting room and people keep coming in and being seen first. I've been waiting. I've kept all the rules and I smile sweetly and say it doesn't matter, but it does.

Another one here who knows exactly what you are all saying.

I swear all my friends are randomly getting pregnant with absolutely NO effort whatsoever and I went through IVF last year, had to stop due to severe OHSS, then while I was waiting for a frozen cycle, I got spontaneously pregnant, only to miscarry... am yet to get pregnant again, will have been 4 years trying and exactly 1 year since the miscarriage in a few weeks.

A pregnant 'friends' status today read - after this baby, I'm having my tubes tied

I don't know why, but it really pissed me off

Lissie - I could have written your last post, word for word. I think it is ok to admit you feel like that though. It is hard. Bloody hard.

YANBU and I agree with lissie about the kind of person it turns you into. When I found out my DSIL was pregnant, my reaction was to rant "That is just so rude. They've only been married five minutes!".

Admittedly that wasn't to her face, but not exactly my finest hour.

We've just bought a 3 bedroom house that we hope to fill with babies, but if one more person says, "Oh that'll be handy, you'll have a spare room and a study", I think I'm going to scream.

YANBU at all and if you were, I would happily join you! I agree with everyone who is/has been in the same boat although I have never been pg so I can't imagine how hard it must be for those of you who've had m/cs. We've been trying for over 18 months and as I am approaching 36, I sometimes struggle to keep up hope, especially with the NHS waiting lists being so long...

I can relate to all the feelings you've described: pregnant women and babies seem to stalk me wherever I go! I know I'm unable to look at it sensibly and although I hate the negative thoughts it brings, I feel it's sometimes necessary and the only way to cope with the frustration of feeling like the odd one out...

Lizzie: I also cringe at my knee-jerk response to my MIL when she mentioned how life-changing it was for her to have two grandchildren in quick succession (yes; my SIL got pregnant on the first day of trying on both occasions!). "Well, someone has to have them, I guess", I blurted. Sometimes, it feels like a nasty, bitter alter-ego takes over but thankfully it doesn't last too long and I am (mostly) genuinely happy for friends and relatives who are expecting.

lissie I was you once, and I so recognise other bits of my life from other posters experiences. lost 3 and was resigning myself to more devastation until GP reminded me that getting pregnant was not the issue so I was not infertile and that in the grand scheme of things I had not been trying all that long (felt like it) 2 years after a 4th pregnancy which saw bleeds and had me panicked resulted in my DS1 and 3 years later when we tried again thinking we would go through more of the same DS2 was conceived almost instantly with no problems. There seems to be no rhyme or reason to it. SIL tried for 10 years had an ectopic and then out of the blue a DS and 2 DD all close in age so I guess what I am saying to all of you in this place in your life, don't give up hope, try and keep some perspective even though I know that's hard, cry all you need but keep hope until you absolutely know the route to being a natural parent is really unlikely. think about other routes but above all, keep your DP close and share your devastation without blame.... oh and try to have sex just for fun sometimes too! speaking as one who used to veiw it through glasses tinted by thermometers and charts!

y'know I just read my post back and re read some of the other posts and I thought, actually what a shit post it was, I would have hated me if I read that way back then, No one can really understand the pain and desperate hope so hope I did not come across as patronising or smug. I do remember the pain so accept it in the vein it was intended which was as support.

No step away I love posts like yours, it gives me hope and has also made me realise that I have not been going for that long and should get a grip!

I just find it so all consuming

mct totally normal to feel like that, its so common, we can't all be bitter and twisted. Its such a primal need, I have never felt anything like it before.
Without wanting to sound smug, I have always worked hard and got what I wanted. You know, you think, well I will read the books, eat healthily , do my homework and it will all come good like passing exams or getting a job.
And then suddenly, bam, mother nature laughs in your face :)

maryz we have just booked a holiday to India, have always wanted to go and have been putting it off for ages as I thought I did not want to risk it whilst being preggers, great advice to just carry on.

YANBU farfalla. I am in the same boat. Bit fed up but at the same time trying to relax about it since apparently stressing about it makes it less likely to happen. Oh, the irony...

And lissie I know exactly what you mean about being in a waiting room and other bastards people keep jumping the queue.