to ask her to stay in a B&B?

[EverythingsNotRosie]

Not a MIL bashing thread, I promise! MIL invited herself to visit in half term, we haven't seen her since June as she lives a few hours drive away. Since then I have returned to work full time and DD, 11 months, is at nursery. DD has settled really well at nursery with one exception- she has stopped sleeping through! She has had numerous colds and has cut 6 teeth since she started so it's hardly surprising. We live in a tiny house and MIL would need to sleep on a futon in the tiny study. The thought of dealing with DD and MIL waking each other up and me having to keep DD quiet until a civilised hour of the morning is quite stressful, as well as the fact half term is the only time I have with DD until Christmas. So... Excuse lack of paragraphs on phone... We said we would be happy to see her but as DD not sleeping well, and as I have other plans as well during the week (DH at work) would she mind staying in a B&B which is literally two minutes walk away?... She is now cross and sad and refusing to come where she is not wanted! AIBU?

I like my PILs and they stay in a B&B when they visit, as do my parents. We has a young baby/toddler who is up early and who doesn't always sleep through. They get their own space (we don't have a huge house), so it works well & everyone's happy. YANBU.

You are not being U at all. You don't have a spare room or even a spare bed; your dd is up half the night and 1/2 term is actually your holiday for a bit of a rest and some time with DD. Add to that the fact that she invited herself and not the otherway round and it's a no brainer as far as I am concerned.

It would have been different if you had called and said "dd is under the weather, I have to work next week and please could you come at short notice to help us out. DH and I will sleep on the sofa and you can have our bed.

My DH's sisters were back packer types when we met who came to the UK with various hangers on and always expected a free spare bed. First rule on meeting DH was his sisters were welcome but their mates were not.

I don't think you or your DH were being unreasonable but maybe the way it was presented to her was wrong and she saw it as being unwanted instead of thinking you were looking out for her comfort.

Maybe presenting her with a choice instead of choosing for her to stay at the BnB might have gone down better.

Hopefully, you guys will be able to resolve this.