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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to say that if you're a parent with a partner...

49 replies

CogitoErgoSometimes · 15/10/2011 12:23

... my hat goes off to you, it really does. Reading all the posts on MN about the behaviour of 'DPs' and 'DHs' (and a few DWs no doubt), undermining confidence, contradicting decisions, idleness, contrariness, selfishness, childishness.... I don't know how you manage to bring up children when having to cosset these spoilt prima-donnas through each day.

LPs don't need sympathy. Rock and roll..

OP posts:
lesley33 · 15/10/2011 12:24

There are some good DH's you know. But I do understand you posting this with all the (at times patroninsing) sympathy for LPs here. I do think being a LP is better than being with a crap partner though.

twinklytroll · 15/10/2011 12:28

My dp does not do any of those things, I suspect most don't.

ballroomblitz · 15/10/2011 12:40

Grin Cogito... hats off to the partnered parents too.

Seriously though each have their own benefits and downsides.

Crap being stuck in the house with no-one to talk to, no chance of a hug after ds goes to bed, great having no bickering and the bed to myself without the incessant loud snoring.

We should just say well done to all parents, regardless of relationship status

KittyFane · 15/10/2011 12:41

Thanks, I am in need of a bit of sympathy right now!
DH is doing my head in! :o

Oh, I know you're being ironic, I haven't posted on the other thread. Stereotypical and patronising, I agree.

KittyFane · 15/10/2011 12:43

Ballroom no chance of those things in our house either!
Shows how pointless it all is to generalise! :)

MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 15/10/2011 12:57

Thanks Cogito My DH is a nutter and he gets right on my tits at times. With his complaining and his mess making. I appreciate the praise. Grin

worraliberty · 15/10/2011 12:59

I must be incredibly lucky then

My DH would be out the door if he was any of those things Grin

Original poster
CogitoErgoSometimes · 15/10/2011 13:03

Well... as an LP not looking for bloody medals, I get a little fed up with the 'my husband's been away for the weekend and it's been soooooo difficult looking after a child on my own... I don't know how you cope' Then the husband gets back from his weekend and the next time you see them they're moaning that he dumped his dirty golf-clubs/fishing tackle/motorbike in the bath/washing maching/hallway and how they're totally pissed off and he never helps with the kids and can't make it to parents' evening and he takes her for granted blah, blah, blah... And when you say 'That's soooo terrible being saddled with such an arsehole, I don't know how you cope and you should leave the bastard' they give you that Hmm look and then some crap about 'but he did bring me flowers'.

Yes... mildly ironic..

OP posts:
Booooooyhoo · 15/10/2011 13:06

just leave the bastard!!

Wink
Reality · 15/10/2011 13:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

worraliberty · 15/10/2011 13:13

People moan about their loved ones all the time but it doesn't mean they don't love them and that they don't want them in their lives.

We moan about our kids but that doesn't mean we want to put them up for adoption.

We moan about our family, pets and friends at times but all the same most of us wouldn't be without them.

NoobyNoob · 15/10/2011 13:14

YABU

Perhaps I'm a lucky one, but I have yet to experience anything you've said in your OPs.

Or perhaps you spend too much time on here and that it's a bit of a sweeping comment?

Cassettetapeandpencil · 15/10/2011 13:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Trills · 15/10/2011 13:15

Only if you're a parent with a shit partner, by the sound of things.

NoobyNoob · 15/10/2011 13:17

I agree with Casstte, I thought the thread was well-meant and genuine. I don't understand the need for this rather bitchy retort.

MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 15/10/2011 13:18

The OP was giving back the shite that's given to her Nooby take it in the way it was meant. You obviously don't 'get' the humour on MN

Original poster
CogitoErgoSometimes · 15/10/2011 13:19

Ironic rather than bitchy... please...

OP posts:
worraliberty · 15/10/2011 13:19

Yeah this thread is bad form really, I feel sorry for the OP of the well meant thread.

It's like being called to the front of the class and pointed at Grin

chickentikkatellmethetruth · 15/10/2011 13:20

How fucking rude.

I hope you're enjoying taking the piss out of me.

NoobyNoob · 15/10/2011 13:22

What shite? I do get the humour on MN, I just don't get why the need to take the piss out of of a well meant thread.

Pathetic really.

Cassettetapeandpencil · 15/10/2011 13:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
CogitoErgoSometimes · 15/10/2011 13:27

I feel sorry for the OP of the well-meant thread as well. 'The road to hell is paved with good intentions' etc. etc.

If you don't understand my irritation, there is a 'drip drip' effect of the cod admiration at how well single parents cope, coupled with the steretypical downgrading of single parents in the press that starts to rankle after a few years. It may not be rational but it's wearing to be always cast in some melodramatic fashion... either brave and noble or wholly irresponsible. I can't immediately think of another section of society treated in such a Jekyll and Hyde fashion. Something will occurr, no doubt.

OP posts:
chickentikkatellmethetruth · 15/10/2011 13:30

You feel sorry for me? Why are you doing this then? Take me down a peg or two? Put me in my place? Show me who's boss? Do you feel better now for this thread?

worraliberty · 15/10/2011 13:30

Then perhaps you should have bothered to actually post on the other thread OP instead of starting this one?

BertieBotts · 15/10/2011 13:31

I got the humour :) And I have a DP who is lovely, supportive, and poses none of the problems in the OP. But I've also had a "D"P who was all of it, and I've been a lone parent as well, and the sympathy you tend to attract for being a lone parent (while well-meant) does get irritating. Especially if you've come from a relationship where your XP/H was useless/controlling/made more work etc. Being a lone parent was a blessed relief!