to say that if you're a parent with a partner...

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

... my hat goes off to you, it really does. Reading all the posts on MN about the behaviour of 'DPs' and 'DHs' (and a few DWs no doubt), undermining confidence, contradicting decisions, idleness, contrariness, selfishness, childishness.... I don't know how you manage to bring up children when having to cosset these spoilt prima-donnas through each day.

LPs don't need sympathy. Rock and roll..

I'm not a single parent but I still find the "oh you're a saint, I don't know how you do it!" threads that crop up occasionally vomit-worthy.

Actually they always strike me as smug rather than admiring.

Calm down chickentikkaetc...

@worraliberty... thread policing is bad form dear...

Oh my god, you feel sorry for me!!! Hang in while I go start a thread about that...

So is starting a thread to show someone up but there you go....

Cogito it's the same as the white working classes are the only section of society whom it's ok to take the piss out of and label.

Single parents do suffer from some weird Maddona Whore syndrome in the public eye....either they're hailed as amazing strong people or blasted as grabbing wasters. Then someone comes on MN and says "Oh you do such a good job" and it IS patronising.

Like my cousin....growing up in a small welsh village, she was the only black kid...we were always compared unfavourably to me her feel "better" in some way....when she was bloody fine! She won every village competition and she was always the one given the biger slice of cake. She didn't want to be singled out like that.

They ARE smug Rita it seems like people saying "There but for the grace of God go I"

It's not the first thread I've read on here in the 'hats off to single parents' vein and it goes to show that the OP does have a very supportive partner. I know loads of parents who love it when their DP goes away and really do envy single parents but realise that they need a DP for financial support and stick with it because he wouldn't go quietly.

Depends on the state of people relationships and past experience how you feel.

I hate the assumption that because I am a single parent I live in a council flat and am supported by the state.

Oh fgs. Seriously some people will get wound up about nothing.

I've posted on both. Took the other thread as it was intended, a compliment. Took this one as tongue-in-cheek with a valid point.

There but for the grace of god go I? Hardly.

I don't have any family nearby and dh works long hours so I never have a break from my toddlers. If someone said to me "that looks like hard work, you're doing a good job" I wouldn't assume that they were smug and thinking "thank fuck my mum lives round the corner"

But then I'm not bitter and twisted like that

That's right ballroom but though this thread was posted in a tongue in cheek way, it was pointing to a serious and valid complaint. Those people who attacked over it come across as nasty.

That's because you have a partner chicken and there is nothing bitter about noticing how you are seen by others. And having thoughts about it.

Having a DH who works a lot is hardly the same as being single with DC. You have their Daddy at home in the night.

Try aving a sick child and nobody to look after the others while you take one to casualty. Or try having a break in and no DH to sit with while you wait for the police. Try running out of milk at 10.00 when the kids are in bed and you don't have anyone to run out for you...nothng bitter abut this...I'm not single either but I do have a DH who works abroad for long periods...but even that isn't comparible as I know he is coming home.

But cogito does not want somebody slapping her on the back...she's fine...she nees no admiration. She is saying that everything is relative....

I didn't find it tongue in cheek at all. I found it rude and un-neccessary. I'm not nasty at all, far from it actually.

A work colleague had her first baby last year, she is married, everything rosy etc but when we met up when her DD was a few months old she did say. 'How they hell did you cope on your own'. I pointed out how being alone has certain advantages. I honestly don't think she was being smug.

For gods sake I am not now comparing my situation with single parenthood!!!!

I appreciate sympathy / understanding. Being a LP is fucking hard work.

Just because my XP was a deranged nutjob it doesn't mean my life is in any way easier without him. Just a different set of equally miserable problems.

There are many different situations - the ones who have partners in afghansitan for instance so they are lp for considerable periods throughout the year.

Being a parent - alone or together with someone - is hard work full stop :)

Oooh I love a hand bags at dawn thread. My money's on cognito.

Single mothers are tougher you know[hwink]

Cogito even.[hblush]

[sharpens clutch]

So nobody else is allowed find being a parent tough or sympathise with anyones situation on MN now .

And presumably lone parents came MN and complained about their then Ps/Hs before they became LPs.

As the child of a LP and somebody who's DH works away (and has plenty of moments of being an arse) a lot, can i just say it's all fucking tough in very different ways of course i can't compare the too i know he'll be home tomorrow night doesn't mean i don't feel like crying because my house is a mess i'm 33 weeks pregnant and my children are bored and can't seem to entertain themselves.

I know brianmayshair but Cogito has a point....the OP of the thread in question even apologised at the start of it incase it was patronising....if you think something may be patronising then it probably is.

Well enjoy your thread. Bye now

Missed other thread so apologies if i have missed the point but can't we all just get along