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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel put out that people think my son's a girl?

67 replies

AnotherJaffaCake · 14/10/2011 15:22

This keeps happening when we're out. DS is 28 months old. He has longish hair, because it suits him and I like it. But he looks like a boy. He's dressed in boy's clothes. It isn't as if I put him in a pink frilly dress and then wonder why people get confused [hgrin].

AIBU to start thinking I need to draw a moustache on his face before we go out now? Or maybe I should get t-shirts printed with "I am a boy" on them?

OP posts:
Original poster
AnotherJaffaCake · 14/10/2011 18:15

By long hair, what I mean is just below collar-length (or at least it is at the moment - we're getting it trimmed in a couple of weeks' time). I just don't think that a really short hair cut would suit him yet. I think he's got a boyish face, not a "pretty" face.

It was meant to be a light-hearted AIBU, not to be taken too seriously. I'm not boiling with rage or anything, just a little bit miffed that DS gets mistaken for being a girl quite a lot. It might be something to do with having an older DD, people just seem to assume it is two girls.

Anyway, it will all sort itself out once he starts school [hgrin]. Still smarting about the grandmother remark though [hsad].

OP posts:
TunaTiebacks · 14/10/2011 18:52

If it happens that often, then he can't look that much like a boy, can he? Wink

LynetteScavo · 14/10/2011 18:54

YABU.

Nothing wrong with being a girl.

Wink
oldraver · 14/10/2011 18:57

DS is nearly 6 and still mistaken for a girl. We rarely correct people unless it crops up as most are just passing comments. DS on the other hand makes it very clear he is a boy

nearlytherenow · 14/10/2011 18:59

I agree it's annoying, but YABU. My DS1 has longish (boy long, rather than really girly long) hair. We've lived here since he was 6 months old. When DS2 was born (DS1 then aged 2.8), the lady opposite (middle aged, I speak to her most mornings - as does DS - and i'm sure we told her his name when we moved in) said "Oh how nice, one of each now"!!

Magneto · 14/10/2011 19:01

My ds gets constantly mistaken for a girl too, probably because his hair is not short (it's not long either though).

I don't understand why people still have the long hair is for girls attitude though...I thought hippies sorted that out in the 60s Grin

Sirzy · 14/10/2011 19:13

Longer hair will always be seen as the "female" option at first glance. If your not going more than that then it's easy to see why that assumption would be made.

theincredibequeenofwands · 14/10/2011 19:21

My eight year old boy has always refused a haircut and frequently is mistaken for a girl.

Doesn't seem to worry him so I don't let it worry me!

BedatHogwarts · 14/10/2011 19:25

My 3 year old DS had an argument with a middle aged lady recently because she refused to believe him when he said he was a boy and insisted 'No you're not, you're a very pretty girl'. I had to step in before he showed her his willy to prove otherwise!

My DP has also been mistaken for a woman, in his long-haired days before the hairline started receding!

ratspeaker · 14/10/2011 19:26

Just the other day my DS was mistaken for his sister

now I know he has gorgeous red hair, it's long, his choice
He ties in back when needed
but you'd think his godfather would have noticed his 6ft tall frame and wispy sideburns
Grin

thefirstMrsDeVeerie · 14/10/2011 20:06

DS3 (the pretty one) has just gone off to bed in his new PJs. Fluffy all in one with pink hearts on.

He looks adorable and he loves them.

Might get tricky if we have to do a midnight run to A&E though.

Still - he is happy. He carried a pink plastic handbag around for two whole weeks. The boy likes what he likes...

dementedma · 14/10/2011 20:33

mrsdeveere my DS had a baby doll in a pink Babygro which he called Alan! don't ask me why!!! today, clearing out the bedroom i came across Alan in his moses basket and said to 9 year old DS (built like a brickshit house and either going to be a psy or a famous scientist) "What shall we do with Alan? Shall we give him to a charity shop?" and he said "Oh no, I couldn't do that. So many memories......".
We once had do the A&E run with him dressed in pink pyjamas and a multi-striped dressing gown - Noel Coward eat your heart out!

dementedma · 14/10/2011 20:34

spy!

lovechoc · 14/10/2011 20:37

haha - I had this at the chemist a few weeks ago. The assistant handed me the medication for the DSs (4yo and 1yo) and on the label it had 'Miss' xxxx rather than 'Master' (addressed to the 1yo). I just found it amusing rather than getting cross about it! He definately was dressed as a boy!

YANBU

diggingintheribs · 14/10/2011 20:39

dd is always mistaken for a boy (short hair - normally some pink). I don't care - DS normally corrects them.

if I'm not sure I do the annoying thing of addressing the baby
'aren't you gorgeous, and how old are you?' forcing mum to give a hint of he or she!

TBF I get this all the time with DD 'and what's your name?'

she's gorgeous though and once she puts some effort into growing hair she will look more like a girl

TheTenantOfWildfellHall · 14/10/2011 20:50

My DS is nearly 13, wears boys school uniform and boys clothes outside of school and often gets mistaken for a girl.

His mistake? Not having short hair and not wearing football shirts/trackie bottoms. Hmm

Even his teachers mistake him for a girl. Bless him!

Pishtushette · 14/10/2011 20:50

people always think DD (22 months) is a girl, even when she`s wearing a dress. Makes me chuckle.

pointydog · 14/10/2011 20:52

He's 2. Really, don;t worry about it.

If you're that bothered, cut his hair short

Proudnreallyveryscary · 14/10/2011 20:57

Boys with long hair are often mistaken for girls. Who cares? If you do care, cut his Barnet.

anothermadamebutterfly · 14/10/2011 20:59

Used to get it all the time with DS. Never really bothered me much, and sometimes I sort of could see why as my DS did not obviously look like a boy. I wouldn't worry about it too much myself.

WaftyCrank · 14/10/2011 21:03

Someone did this to my DS who's 6 months the other day. A lovely lady asked what her name was so I told her, Gabriel, thinking she'd realise her mistake. She then said how much of a lovely name it was and asked how old she was. :o

I told her HE was 6 months and she said 'Oh, he's a boy! Gabriel as in the boy's one.' I can only assume she was thinking of Gabrielle but she then went on to tell me that her BIL is called Gabriel.

It didn't bother me at all but it does annoy me when people get his name wrong and call him Gabrielle!

BluddyMoFo · 14/10/2011 21:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Feminine · 14/10/2011 21:05

I was in line the other day, chatting with a friendly man...for quite a while.

He asked me "do you have any sons" he had been chatting with my boys for about 10 minutes Grin they are 13 and 8!

People always think my boys are girls, I have got used to it now.

Fifis25StottieCakes · 14/10/2011 21:12

Best one yet

DD3 sitting in pink luna

Hes lovely, how old is he.

Time to go to specsavers

FessaEst · 14/10/2011 21:24

My DD has hardly any hair (still and she's 23 months!) and I don't tend to go for pink, so she's nearly always referred to as he. I really don't care - it doesn't mean anything, but I do find it funny that people don't revise their he when they hear her name etc!