Not to want my in laws in our bedroom?

[sprinkles77]

Just that really. Came home to find they were visiting DH to observe help with DS's bath time. DS was out of the bath and in his pyjamas. FIL was sat on our bed, MIL just loitering and DH playing on his phone. DS (19 months) was playing with my shoes and hair brushes. All activities that could have been done in DS's room or the sitting room. DH and I are TTC. The bed is a bit . I have charts and thermometers and ovulation predictor kits and moon cup lying about. It's not really the inlaws' fault, though they should really know better. It's DH's.

somewherewest I also spent most of a decade in shared student accomodation. Bit different sharing you intimate details with friends you chose to share a house with from with your uninvited in laws. It's up to me who I chose to let into the more private areas of my life.

didl yes and yes. Initially his fault not just theirs really (though they could have had the sense to say "we'll wait downstairs, can DS come to play with us once he's dressed?". I have said nothing to them, but have made my feelings clear to DH! (having told him before). Though MIL is a dick. They were here once with I was pg and I told her I was popping up to get changed as we were going out. I was in our room stuggling into tights and realised she was standing next to me. Major boundaries ishoos.

A1980 I sense a judgy pants wedgee I am a clean tidy person. the bed is made, the TTC crap is in a neat pile. The mooncup is clean and dry, not encrusted with bodily fluids. I do not have the time or the drying space to change bed linen every couple of days, 1-2 x a week is fine. My bedroom is my private space, not a show home. What I do in it is my business unless DH is thick enough to let his parents in. HTH stands for "hope that helps", is that what you meant?

Ooh no, I hate people going into my bedroom and I hate going into theirs. Earlier this year I looked after my nieces for the weekend at their house. No spare bedrooms so had to sleep in the adults' bed (which they knew about) I stood and stared at it for ages scrutinising the bedside tables and then gingerly got into my brother's side and stayed there! Venturing over to SIL's side made me feel all icky! Could just about cope with my brother's side [hblush]

A1980 - . How judgy. In my interminable TTC efforts (I am now 18 weeks pregnant, hurrah), my bedside table was covered in TTC stuff because it is a private room and I wouldn't expect anyone to go in. Thermometer needs to be out because you have to take your temperature instantly upon waking ideally without even lifting your head from the pillow, not after getting up and having a rummage through drawers. CBFM and sticks need to be out as need FMU and so it's simpler to spot them as you stagger to the loo at the crack of dawn after your alarm has gone off early so you can take your temperature at the same time every day, rather than having the frustration of forgetting to grab one and missing a day's first wee. Mooncup used for, er, post sex retention purposes clearly needs to be on the bedside table - again slightly negates the purpose of using it if the OP needs to leap up and root through a drawer first. Sheets - mind your own business - and how uptight are you that you seem to view sheets that, for all we know, had had one shag on them as disgusting?

If you ever experience any issues TTC, perhaps you'll also develop some fucking empathy.

Are

Not sure what the random "are" is!

I never thought of that use for a mooncup....

[might have got pg sooner emoticon]

Changing bed sheets once a week is very good housekeeping! More than that insane and wasteful surely?? I may however be trying to justify my once every 2-3 weeks habit!!

GML - I think the jury's out (just like re lying down for half an hour afterwards) on the basis that the healthy sperm will all swim instantly upwards in a spawning salmon like way regardless of mooncups or position, and it's the healthy ones which will get to the egg, but I found it encouraging in that it stopped that "but it's all come oooooooouuuuuttttttt" thing upon standing up, leading to the feeling that the sex (as dictated by thermometer and CBFM) had all been a waste of time!

Pommed - I agree re once a week, I wouldn't change more often unless there had been some disaster like knocking a cup of tea into the bed or if someone was ill and in bed all day being sweaty.

YANBU
Your DH should have had more sense.

I have a spare room with everything you could need. Last time my sil stayed, I found her in my bedroom using my dryer and hairbrush. was a bit and asked why she was in there. My DH had said it was ok - maybe that's why she asked him and not me .

Takethisonehere I am guessing that you sis will never babysit for you again and I wouldn't blame her. You are extremely ungrateful and are PFB on a MASSIVE scale!

OP don't worry about A1980. Tracey Emin is probably spitting feathers that she forgot to include a mooncup in her 'messy-bed-Turner-prize' display as we speak.

Some used sheets and a few personal bits on a bedside table in a room not usually used to entertain half the family is hardly the crime of the century.

You're still not being unreasonable to mind them seeing it though.

whoseGotMyEyebrows - she hasn't been asked.

And I admitted the PFB bit BUT I don't think there's anything wrong with being PFB in this respect. Oddly enough, when my child is upset my first thought isn't "I hope MN don't think I'm being PFB if I care about this happening to him."

What's so bad about wanting your babysitter to put your child to bed when he is tired and not have her then get him back out because he wasn't asleep before she left the room?

Or to not want to come home and find him screaming with exhaustion and asking to go to bed, something she admitted had been going on for a long time?

Or to expect her to either ring and tell us she didn't know what to do with him or even tell us that when we rang her, rather than fob us off with the clearly untrue statement that he was asleep in bed?

Look at it this way. If I had posted to say that she/me/DH/whoever had left him in bed to cry and scream for a prolonged length of time you would have all been up in arms about how cruel it was to leave him for so long.

To me it's no better to keep him out of bed and let him cry for a prolonged length of time while begging to go back than it would be to leave him in bed for a long time when clearly distressed.

FWIW, I have posted one incident on here about usually very good relationship that is eleven years old. I bet there's not a single MNer who can honestly tell me they have never been annoyed, reasonably or not, at someone they have had a close relationship with for that length of time.

If he had still been up but happy, rather than crying, I wouldn't have minded so much.

"Major boundaries ishoos."

Well that puts a different light on it.

I can´t imagine my ILs following my husband into the bedroom tbh.

Although I don´t really get why/how children´s bathtime ended up in your bedroom.