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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that houses do not come with an after sales service??

240 replies

TiaMariaandDietCoke · 13/10/2011 13:42

I'll try to keep this short. We sold our old house and the buyer moved in at the end of June. He's a single guy, just a couple of years younger than us. During the run up to the sale he was a bit of a PITA, we had to do lots of hand holding etc and his parents kept coming to the house to 'measure up' (never measured a damn thing) and would spend HOURS chatting with me and not showing any interest in the house at all.

We put up with it because he was willing to wait for our new build to be ready before he moved in, so that saved us the cost and hassle of renting. We also felt a bit sorry for him as he's just starting out for the first time, so left him quite a lot of extras not included in the sale of the house to help him out, chased up his solicitor for him when things stalled because he 'didn't know how to', left him loads of info about the area, who his neighbours are, when the bins are collected, left him food and a welcome to your new home present and card - basically anything we thought would help him settle in - he was very pleased!

Now I'm begining to wonder if being so nice was a mistake. He has my mobile number and has sent texts on and off all summer asking daft questions about the house, all of which I've answered and have even called him to talk explain stuff in more detail when he's been confused. He's also turned up unannounced at our new home which we didnt give him the address of and we dont know how he knows where it is for no particular reason, dropping off junk mail that he 'thinks is for us' Confused so far, irritating, but no big deal really.

until monday night, when his mother turned up at our house unannounced and barged in asking me to come and sort out his bloody heating! Shock There's nothing wrong with the heating, just he's not sure how to programme it to suit his working shifts.

me: "didn't he read the manual?"
her: "there is no manual"
me "err, yes there is - we handed it to you along with everything else - and I left written instructions because you asked for them - and there are instructions on the control unit itself"
her "oh, yes, so there is - well, can you come and do it anyway?"

now, this woman was not taking no for an answer so I stupidly agreed that DH and I would nip down for 10 MINUTES tonight to sort it. This was after me offering several days that I could come down and her saying that no, that time/day wouldn't suit. He wanted me to come then and there, or preferably on saturday evening, because that would suit her best. When I told her I had plans this weekend and couldnt come, her response was "well, that's not very convenient for poor DS" Confused ffs!!

The house, by the way is in great condition, heating system is only a few years old as as simple as they come - its not like he's struggling in some old run down house with quirky appliances!

AIBU to think they are extracting the urine, or am I just being a bit of a Caah? I'm of a mind to set the damn timer for him and then make it crystal clear that we will not be coming back and he needs to sort things out himself from here on in - what do the MN jury think?

OP posts:
porcamiseria · 13/10/2011 14:08

you are MAD!!!!!! tell them to fuck off and never darken your door again

you have bought this on yourself, toughen up OP!!!!!

AND DO NOT GO AND FIX HIS HEATING!!!!

bebeballroom · 13/10/2011 14:08

YANBU - He bought the house...it is his house! You are not his landlord! Tell him to do one!!

SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood · 13/10/2011 14:10

i think the thread title will work

you bought the house, not the house + after sales service, that was not something i offered
I have done you some huge favours in helping so far
now you are annoying me with your huge sense of entitlement so go away

SewWhat · 13/10/2011 14:14

It works both ways though.

When we bought this house the people who used to own it turned up out of the blue after 2 months and barged in 'to see how we were getting on' and then demanded to know why we had changed everything.

She was gutted, absolutely gutted, that we had taken down some manky curtains and a matching lightshade. She let it be know in a very loud voice, whilst turning purple with rage, that those curtains had been made to order for that very window.

I tried to be polite but at that point DH stepped in and made it clear that she was not welcome in our home!

OP set your DH on them, worked for me!

BattyDevineIntervention · 13/10/2011 14:27

Oooh I love this thread! Please keep updating us.

SewWhat that is unbelievable too!

It was nice of you to sort the heating if you know how it works and he doesn't. I'm more concerned that his mother has that sense of entitlement than that you were asked, as such; its how you ask, if he'd phoned up and said, look I'm really sorry to bother you but I can't get the hang of this heating, any tips? then it wouldn't have been nearly as bad.

Obviously you are in no way legally obliged.

How helpful you are willing to be is up to you and I wouldn't say its in any way your fault they are like this, they are obviously just like that. I wouldn't necessarily say don't be helpful just to prove a point either, but let it be at your convenience, and on your terms, and if you are not in the mood, then not at all!

YusMilady · 13/10/2011 14:28

This thread is gobsmacking. Do people really behave like this? Really and truly? (your buyers, OP, not you.) Having said that, our last lot of buyers showed distinct signs of neediness and kept leaving phone messages wanting to know what the meter readings were when we moved out (because they hadn't bothered to check). I just ignored them until they got the message. You're busy enough when you move house without holding anyone else's hand.

Purplegirlie · 13/10/2011 14:30

I would do what Chicletteeth said

NatashaBee · 13/10/2011 14:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hullygully · 13/10/2011 14:36

Been there done that...

Go tonight, and tell them very firmly that that is it. You are no longer available for anything.

oohermrs · 13/10/2011 14:37

The people who owned our house left us a bottle of wine, flowers and a very helpful map of all the neighbours houses and who lived where. Turned out all the neighbours hated them cause they were nosey parkers!

Original poster
TiaMariaandDietCoke · 13/10/2011 14:49

Ahh, can always rely on MN!! Grin SewWhat - totall agree that it works both ways - we were treated horribly when we bought our first house - actually, thinking about it now,, that's probably why I've been too nice to this guy!

Also love the idea of the pre-printed invoice - soooo tempting!!

OP posts:
TandB · 13/10/2011 14:52

No, no, no, OP! Do not go round there tonight - all you will do is reinforce their bizarre expectation that you will always sort out this man-child's problems.

I would write a letter and drop it through the door today saying something like:

Dear Buyer

Unfortunately I will not be in a position to attend your home tonight in order to demonstrate how to use the heating controls. This was not something I was prepared to do but I felt placed under considerable pressure by your mother who was not prepared to consider any alternative days, and I agreed to her request despite it being inconvenient.

Having thought about this matter further I am actually a little surprised that your mother would consider it appropriate to insist upon my attendance in such a manner. I am not a landlord with the associated obligations - I am simply the former owner of the property you have purchased. As such I have no ongoing interest in, or obligation towards the property.

I am sure you will agree that my husband and I made unusual efforts to help you, both during your purchase of the property and your settling-in period. I apologise if this has placed you under any misconceptions as to any ongoing responsibility we may have towards the property. In normal circumstances there would be no further contact between the purchaser and the vendor of a property after completion. In this case we have answered a number of queries from you and you and your mother have both attended our home address with requests and queries.

I really must insist that these requests for assistance now cease so that we can enjoy our new start in our new home without any ongoing obligations relating to our former property. It is simply not appropriate for us to be expected to provide assistance in re-programming the boiler when we left a manual for that purpose. If you have misplaced it then there are instructions on the boiler itself or you can download a new manual from the internet. I am sure you will be able to resolve this very minor matter without me attending your home.

I wish you all the best in your new home and trust that you will respect my wishes in this matter.

Tiamaria

KatieMortician · 13/10/2011 14:54

Arf at man-child. Yy that is exactly what it is!

Can tell Kungfu's a lawyer... Grin

TandB · 13/10/2011 15:00

Meant to add, people like this don't suddenly decide enough is enough - if you don't break the ties now, they will be contacting you in 2 years time to complain that the boiler has broken.

We used to rent a housekeeper's cottage type thing that had been built in the garden of a larger family home by the previous owners. Confusingly they kept a second cottage next door after selling the main house and the housekeeper's house. The previous owners used to take the piss something rotten. The husband constantly wandered through our garden (regularly breaking the wire that I had used to secure the gates to stop him doing exactly this) to get into the main house while there was building work going on. He would then go and have a poke around to see what was being done to the house - it was a while before the builders actually figured out he had no business being there. On one occasion he walked in while one of the new owners was home, actually lying on the floor waiting for an ambulance as she had collapsed with pneumonia - he didn't offer to help her - he just said he was having a look around and wandered off upstairs leaving her on the floor. He and his guests used to park across our gate blocking us in and when I had a go at them about it, they would look terribly shocked and say "oh but we used to own this house". This went on for quite a long time until they moved out and let their son have the cottage.

ExitPursuedByaBear · 13/10/2011 15:02

I think Kungfu is fabulous...

WillbeanChariot · 13/10/2011 15:04

I love these threads about bonkers people. I look forward to hearing how it turns out.

Original poster
TiaMariaandDietCoke · 13/10/2011 15:04

Kungfu - I think I love you!! Grin

OP posts:
Haggyoldclothbatspus · 13/10/2011 15:21

Shock!!

Proudnreallyveryscary · 13/10/2011 15:30

Kung Fu's letter is poetry.

BUT I would slightly de-legal it (yes de-legal is is a word - well it is now) as this is actually the first time you've made your grievance known. So although it's been building up in you, for him it's news.

To be fair to him, he's clearly inadequate rather than malicious so I'd go a bit easier in the letter, while making it absolutely clear that you are not going to go round for this or any other matter again.

What a family of loons!

DistinctlyMintyMonty · 13/10/2011 15:41

Kungfu love

bintofbohemia · 13/10/2011 15:41

Loving Kungfu's letter. Please don't go around there tonight, I'm angry for you just thinking about it...

Original poster
TiaMariaandDietCoke · 13/10/2011 15:45

[hgrin]

Ohh, update - apparently the man-child won't be home when we arrive tonight - his mum will be there instead. Hmm

Will definately update when we get back - it makes it almost worth going!!

OP posts:
TandB · 13/10/2011 15:48

[sticks head back into thread and hands TiaMaria an invoice]

TandB · 13/10/2011 15:49

If he is not going to be there then that gives you a perfect get-out clause, OP.

"Sorry, I think we better leave it for now - I don't want to be asked to come back another time because he wasn't there to see the demonstration for himself."

Snorbs · 13/10/2011 15:55

Go there at arranged time. Spend no more than 10 minutes timed to the second even if that means you have to stop speaking half-way through a sentence. If she protests say that you have to be elsewhere for some very important sex.

On your way out the door say that any further calls will be charged at £100 per hour standard rate plus travelling expenses, minimum call-out charge one hour, money up-front and that you charge double for evenings and weekends.