to think that having a third child is not such a huge deal and that 38 is not ancient?

[Melissad]

grrr... so, I'm 38 and already have daughters aged 11 and 8. I'm 38 and pregnant (unexpectedly, but we're very delighted now) again.
Over the past several weeks, (basically since my bump has become very obvious and pregnant looking) random women from the school run and other people I know have taken the time to tell me that I am totally mad, what were you thinking, etc.? At your age? But you already have two!? Do you want a boy then? Oh, I could never ever go back to the baby stage, etc..
Why do people feel that it's perfectly acceptable to come out with this negative crap to a heavily pregnant (and tetchy) woman?
I know that I'm probably being touchy because I have my own worries about having a third baby after such a big gap, not wanting my older girls to feel left out, but count my blessings that we're having another baby when so many of my friends have struggled to conceive at all. I'm looking at this as a blessing and a joy, not an awful, terrible thing, some sort of horrid challenge to endure.
I wouldn't dream of asking someone why they were having another baby or why they have one/two children, or was it planned, etc.. because it's none of my business.
And please tell me that 38 is not beyond ancient?

So, definitely, 38 is not too old and 3 children is not bizarre (a friend described 3 children as 'the new two' to me the other day - love it). And they are rude old harpies.

I'm right with you! I did the same and had an accidental 4th after an 8 yr gap. People did seem to think it was ok to say this sort of stuff to me too... I found it incredibly irritating - especially when I got beyond 30 weeks and was the size of a large bus.

However my proper friends were so happy for me and I now have 4 gorgeous boys. I have built in baby sitters - tho have just lost eldest to uni - and they adore my DS4 and are great with him...He is also the ultimate answer to teenage hormonal door slamming behaviour - they have to melt when he runs up with his arms outstretched - and it makes me laugh every tiime. Ha ha! revenge is mine.
So you are a very lucky mum and anyone who says different can shove it! IMHO. Enjoy.

I feel you pain - i had my 3rd at 38 (which according to some MN'ers is elderly and I will die before my child tunrs 4 etc etc)

also have 2 girls - knew the 3rd would also be a girl - ut still had to cope with 9 mths of 'ohhhh where you trying for a boy' and 'ohhh was it and accident' and 'aren't you worried' massive eye roll

excuse typos - she's now 3 and hanging on my arm!

I had lots of people saying 'are you mad?' when I was pregnant with my 3rd child - and I was 35 without the big age gap! (Maybe it was a small age gap thing in my case...)

People just open their gubs and let their bellies rumble when you're pregnant. No matter what your situation, they will find something negative to say about it. Sod 'em all I say. (Am currently pg with no 3 and am 39.)

I had my third this February, am 37. My dds are 6 and 3 - I also got asked at school gates "was it planned?" I mean my husband's nice enough but to be honest I can resist him and I didn't bloody know them well enough to discuss my sparse sex life .

Yes when dd3 arrived there was a few pitying looks and "going to keep trying for a boy" comments. Ps she absolutely gorgeous and am having so much fun this time. Congratulations.

Of course it isn't old. I am 36 and pregnant with number 2. If we were to have a third after a similar gap I would be 38 and that doesn't sound old to me!

They are jealous as you are still clearly having sex

I am 42 and ttc DC3. Had first at 36, second at 40.

Congratulations

I'm sorry that people are making you feel bad

I am 38 yo with a 2.5 yr old and a 7 month old.

Am thinking of going for number 3 around the time of my 39 yr birthday...

Just have to find a way to convince DH!

Best of luck with your number 3. I am very envious!

You could be me too! Just ignore those people. They are just jealous.

People go bonkers around pregnant women. They're just excited, and possibly a bit jealous in a ooh-wouldn't-it-be-nice-to-be-pregnant-but-not-sure-I-could-really-face-it-again way.

I had loads of comments when I had my third at the age of 42. The other two being 7 and 5 at the time.

Any comments were met with a sad smile and a 'yes it has taken us a long time and a lot of heartache to be pregnant again'

I don't think your age is an issue at all. People are perhaps a little surprised at the age gap you'll have between your last two kids because many people relish the freedom when they start to grow up .but 38 is nothing!

I was 39 when I had my third. She is my joy. Sod 'em.

People make small talk - you have to say something don't you?! Something after 'Congratulations'. No matter what you say to a pregnant woman it's wrong Try not to take it to heart - it is small talk. Some will be envious (puts hand up), some will not be envious (see 'soverylucky's comments) - but none of them set out to upset you or to say you are doing the wrong thing for you.

CONGRATULATIONS!

OP - I had my 3rd child at 40 and I had similar comments....from my Mum! Even know when I am finding things hard work (dd3 has had reflux and is a trifle spirited) she says,"well dear, you're not as young as you were last time.....".

My baby is average size (just had a scan) and i get nothing but 'ooh, you won't be going to 9 months', 'sure it's not twins in there' etc. I'm 30 weeks with my third at 37. People just want to say something and don't think if the impact.

I'm feeling a bit broody at the moment, but have been ignoring the feelings because my kids are 7 and 3 and do I really want to go back to the beginning?

After reading some of the replies on here ... I think I do!

Wahhh!

runs away and hides thread

Ignore the comments. I am 36 and pregnant with no.4. I would say at least 75% of the comments I've had when I told people the news were qualified by a negative statement - ie - Congratulations! But you're mad! type thing. I think it's jealousy. One work acquaintance I told actually said," I feel quite jealous of you as I only have two. Congratulations."

Also incredible how people think it's ok to ask you if was planned! Which is nobody's business!

Congratulations ! I had dd at 40 with 13 & 16 yr age gaps -it was the best time - older ones helped out, we laughed a lot and made new friends. I'm a brand new gran now, (eldest has just had a daughter ! ) so dd is a young auntie, and the family just seems to join on.....you are right, you have a blessing, just ignore the nosey and insensitive comments.....

38 is not remotely old. When I had dd at 28 I was asked why I was having a baby so young, now I am asked about being so old. People seem to think they can be as rude as they like when you are pregnant.

Congratulations btw, you must be due about the same time as me.

Hi, I'm due on 3rd December, so not long now!
Soverylucky: lol, that's exactly what I said when I first discovered I was pregnant. The age gap wont work for us. Lol! And then a few days later, realised that the age gap would mean a few years of bloody hard work nothing at all when they are all grown up. And when I told my girls that we were having a baby, their reactions (ecstatic) made it so much easier! And yes, we're having a third girl too, so have also been forced to endure the 'don't you want a boy?' type questions, sigh...

Jealousy.

Congratulations