thi think that you don't own your children and shouldn't randomley move the goalposts for access

[mrskeithlemon]

DP's exp has decided we are no longer allowed to see his children at our house any more. This means my ds will suffer also, as well as the fact that if he wants to see them he has to go to his ex marital home to do so.

IAIBU to think that the kids are not her possessions and she should not be allowed to treat them as such?

I think DP should stick up for himself in this case and tell he he bloody well is having them at our house

OP, i'm not sure I am explaining my opinion very clearly.

So basically from what you've said, his ex has put some unreasonable conditions. Ie. if you want to see your kids you must come here. No more overnights.

So he now has a choice. Fight it or accept it. You say he's just accepting it. So i think it's important to look at why.

Possible reasons are:

a) He's too afraid of confrontation with his ex. Hmmm, that's not good is it? Do you really want to live the next x years knowing that the real boss is his ex? She says jump, he says how high and you have to dance to her tune?

b) He believes her that you threw a plate. Not good for rather obvious reasons!

c) He isn't really committed to the kids in the long term and would rather just see them out of convenience and guilt than a real desire to be their dad. If that's the case then that's no good either is it and you should question if you should have kids with someone like that.

You don't need a court. Often these things can be sorted out without one, using mediation if necessary. A court is only necessary when the two parents can't come to a reasonable agreement and one is being unreasonable. Eventually, if your ex moves in with this woman and you do not let him have overnight contact, a court would decide you are being unreasonable. But I do agree with the comments that, in your case, the priority for the time being is to get her used to the split and introducing new partners is definitely not the right thing to do at this stage.

Thank you, finally some sense!

I have not said it will never happen just not now.

I think Isis is spot on. It's really early days and her child will have all sorts of emotions going on. It's way too soon for a new partner to be thrown into the mix. She's not saying never, just not right now.