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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

in askin ds to play near the house since there has been two near attempted abductions in the area

120 replies

ggirl · 12/10/2011 08:15

don't want to scare the crap out of him but as he and his friends usually play on their bikes/scooters after school I am worried
he's asking awkward questions like-
why would a person want to steal a child?

school have also talked vaguely about stranger danger since the first attempt was reported
another attempt last evening , so have told him he needs to play in garden after school
Am i being hysterical?

OP posts:

ChutesTooNarrow · 12/10/2011 15:55

I glanced at this thread wondering if you were near me and it seems you are. Dorset police have just released a statement here. Excerpt (my bold):

"Police in East Dorset are offering reassurance to parents following a small number of reported suspicious incidents in Alderholt and Hampshire and subsequent online rumours.

During the evening of Friday, 7 October 2011, a 12-year-old boy was pushing his bicycle through Alderholt when he was approached by a man driving a white van. The man asked the boy if he wanted a lift home and the boy ran to his house.

This man did not make any attempt to force the boy into the van and officers believe that this incident may be a genuine misunderstanding.

Other suspicious incidents have been reported to Hampshire Constabulary but these are not linked and are certainly not abductions or attempted abductions, as has been erroneously claimed on online social network sites."

I follow my local and county police on twitter, v good for accurate information.

MillyR · 12/10/2011 15:59

Why would any of this be national news? There were children abducted when I was a child in my local area and it didn't make national news. It is only national news if they haven't found the attacker and numerous children have been attacked, or if a child is missing or killed. If it is a teenager or a child who doesn't fit the public's idea of a 'victim' is missing, it often doesn't make the national news, or sometimes even the local news.

When DS was in primary school there was an attempted abduction, and the police sent in plain clothes officers. So OP, if you see people outside school that you don't recognise as parents, that may be why.

Katiepoes · 12/10/2011 16:01

Excuse me - people you don't recognise as parents and the most logical explanation is plain clothes police? Or preverts of course. Has to one of the two.

Katiepoes · 12/10/2011 16:02

Preverts? I can't even spell it I'm so scared of them.

Original poster

ggirl · 12/10/2011 16:02

thanks for that chutes that's reassuring

OP posts:

seeker · 12/10/2011 16:02

Most of the examples in your link are about teenagers- and reinforce the fact that there are still some men who treat women like shit, and who regard women out on their own as fair game. There is a woman attempting to snatch a baby- a completely different thing - and a man detained after trying to snatch a 2 year old. Almost undoubtedly the child's father.

Unless I've missed it, no cases of men trying to snatch primary school age children and force them into cars.

MillyR · 12/10/2011 16:03

Katiepoes, I leave the house, and let my children leave the house (DD is making her own way home from primary school right now) by accepting that there is a risk, that the risk will not go away when she becomes an adult, and that we all have to get on with life anyway.

MillyR · 12/10/2011 16:04

Katie - we were told by the school that there would be plain clothes police outside of school. It seems a sensible response by the police to an attempted abduction.

PerryCombover · 12/10/2011 16:11

Here is the UK information. Most stranger abduction average victim age 10 yo

JamieComeHome · 12/10/2011 16:11

I totally agree that stranger abductions are very rare and I allow my DCs quite a lot of freedom. But at 9 years old, and playing out, I don't think it's unreasonable to tell your child that should never go anywhere with an adult they don't know, never get into a car, what to do if they are lost, to get them to learn your telephone number in case they are troubled or hurt, and to be honest about the fact (if they ask), that there are adults who do hurt children.

This has not, AFAIK scared either of my DCs

Original poster

ggirl · 12/10/2011 16:13

well seems it was mostly rumours
thank god for that

OP posts:

PerryCombover · 12/10/2011 16:15

seeker the information on page three and four of that report would go against what you seem to be stating here

Fifis25StottieCakes · 12/10/2011 16:16

My 2 links are reports of 9 year old girls by a man fitting the same description. Its on the local news that a 14 year old has been raped by a 35 yr old male on Monday.

What about kids who are taken, dropped off an never tell because thats happens as well.

bintofbohemia · 12/10/2011 16:18

This has reminded me - someone tried to get me and my friend into his car when we were about 5. We screamed and ran off and told our parents, but it never got reported to the police.

Proudnreallyveryscary · 12/10/2011 16:33

I think it's bizarre (and patronising as I said earlier in a terribly written post ) that you are refuting and challenging real incidents, Seeker.

As I said one attempted abduction incident happened outside my children's school. A man tried to get a 10 year boy into his car - by force. The man was not known to the boy. The police were called. It was real. It happened. It was not reported in the local press.

Of course there is hysteria and gossip and rumours surrounding this very emotive subject but you are way off the mark to suggest most of these incidents are fabricated or exaggerated.

I'm not talking about the report mentioned above by the way.

COCKadoodledooo · 12/10/2011 16:35

We had a letter home from school from Hampshire Police tonight.

Not sure if I should publish all the text but basically it's saying as ChutesTooNarrow says up there.

It also specifically says "In the meantime I would ask residents not to pass on any information they do not know to be true."

WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 12/10/2011 16:50

I was wondering about this myself. I was in the queue in the supermarket and the woman behind me was talking to her child about not wandering off and saying that a man had tried to take a kid recently. She went into quite a bit of detail with the child and I did think that she was probably scaring the pants off her but of course it was none of my business so said nothing. I was aware of the attempted abduction she was talking about though and I knew it to be a misunderstanding that has been all cleared up. Should I have said something? She might have been using the example just to scare her child into not wandering off in which case me saying that the abduction story wasn't true wouldn't have been helpful. Hmm

PerryCombover · 12/10/2011 17:04

The figures are saying that in 2004 about 47% or 375 attempted child abductions were by strangers. Of those 72 were successful.
Those figures were for England and Wales only.

Also the crime figures will not tally an abduction if there has been a further serious crime carried out..only the most serious crime is recorded on the crime stats.

I am surprised by that number..I know seeker will come on and say negligible but it's higher than I imagined

MillyR · 12/10/2011 17:36

Those stats were over a two year period, which would mean that averaged out there is an attempted child abduction by a stranger reported to the police every other day. So no wonder each case doesn't get in the national news - it isn't news. It is just life.

Original poster

ggirl · 12/10/2011 17:38

god yes those figures are quite a lot higher than I expected

OP posts:

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