think I am being a little irrational here so probably just need a talking to but this has really upset me...
My ds is 8mo. He is ebf, I feed him to sleep at night and he still has a couple of night feeds (at least). He has taken ebm from a bottle but the last time was about 4 months ago as I hate expressing, and he takes water, very reluctatntly, from a doidy cup. I have been on 3/4 nightys out with friends and have left the emb with dh, and dh has been out once or twice too (he is not really fussed about going out tbh) but we have not been out for an evening meal together since ds was born, which we used to do all the time. This doesn't really bother us - we were together for 10 years before ds and did plenty of posh meals and weekends away etc in this time. We have also been on a couple of lovely self catering holidays since ds came with family and friends when everyone has helped with the cooking (including my brother who is a chef), so we do not feel that we have missed out on eating out, socially or gastronomically!!
Anyway, all my mil has done since ds was born has harped on about how she would like to has ds overnight. she mentions it everytime I see her. Last time she was saying that she would like to get dh and I a weekend away for Xmas so that they could have ds, as "hopefully you will have stopped bf by then". She keeps saying "It's such a shame he isn't sleeping through yet or we could have him". I don't really want them to "have him" and I feel they are putting pressure on me to do something I am not yet comfortable with. It is clear from her frequent eye rolling, tutting and head shaking that shje disapproves of the fact that I am still bf and that ds doesn't sleep through. This could be influenced by the fact that she has had both of her granddaughters stay from being just a few weeks old (both ff and great sleepers).
I also am a bit sensitive about her having him, becuase on the first night we came home from hospital with ds, she and fil stayed at our house. It was a generally awful experience. There dog was there sniffing at my lochia, they had cooked coq au vin and we had to eat it at the dining table while 3 day old ds was in his carry cot in another room so the dog couldnt get to him. I really think my first night home should have involved me sitting on the sofa with a slice of pizza in one hand and ds in the other, and still feel resentful about this! To top it all off, that night ds was crying and SHE CAME INTO OUR BEDROOM AND TOOK HIM AWAY!! I have never quite got over this. It has meant whenever they have stayed since or we stayed there, I just don't sleep as I worry she is going to come in again. Also, it has probably contributed to ds being a crap sleeper as I feed him at the slightest peek for fear she will come in and take him off me again! (I do realise this makes me sound crazy!)
Anyway, what has upset me today is that dh rang to say that his fil had been on the phone and they have bought us 2 tickets to see a play on Friday night and booked us a bar meal at a nearby pub, and told dh they are coming to look after ds. I know they think this is a kind gesture, but it got me really upset. I feel that when we do decide to go out and leave ds I want it to be our decision when to do it, not forced upon me by them. I was trying to explain this to dh but it just came out as an incoherent rant and me saying "how dare they presume to decide what kind of play I will like or which pub to go to!". He has now said he will ring and tell then I don't want to go, and I know they will think I am an ungrateful and possessive cow. AIBU to have reacted in this way??