to find this a bit..icky?

[DrSeuss]

My DS, aged 5, came home with a handmade medal on a bit of wool which the class had made and awarded themselves on the grounds that each child desrved a medal "for being me". He also sang a song, the entire lyric of which seems to be, "123, it's good to be me".

My son is a much wanted, much loved child who is told at least once a day that Mummy and Daddy love him. He is praised often but only when he has done something praiseworthy. I believe my child to be the special but acknowledge that all decent parents believe the same about their own kods. Does he need to have a medal for being him? Will life give him a medal on the grounds that he is a sentient being? I doubt it. As a secondary school teacher, this just makes me think of the kind of little treasure we increasingly get in Y7, who think that the world turns on them and cannot bear failure or criticism of any kind. My line would be, you are all special to someone, even if only to God. However, you are no more special than anyone else around here, so get used to it!

Am I a dreadful cynic?

true self-esteem does not come solely from praise. it also comes from working hard at and achieving something.

and in fact, needing praise from others, or learning to expect praise without effort, is a recipe for insecurity.

OP, the examples you gave above don't even surprise me.

"He is praised often but only when he has done something praiseworthy"

Nice to see 'conditions of worth' is alive and kicking.

"the Little Treasures and their Mummies and Daddies tend to take up a disproportionate amount of my and my colleagues' time"

These children haven't been taught that they and their classmates/others have equal worth, so is opposite to what the song in the OP teaches, if you have good self esteem you don't feel the need to dominate.

There isn't a parenting programme that teaches self esteem/worth without having/teaching appropriate bounderies.

Isthisweird :o

I wonder if this is going to turn into an UP debate...

Nope - Im making the correltion between 5yos making something and being praised for it and then telling yoru mother to shut up. Clearly Im missing something here. Or my lateral thinking is shot to pieces.

*not making the correlation etc

French, isthisweird? But of course! What do you think I teach?!
Is it OK if I keep the stick up there? It's just that they don't pay us teachers that much so I can't afford a Rampant Rabbit.

Wow! Have you got nothing more worthy to moan about OP? Your child and the others in the class is being encouraged to have self esteem and believe he is lovely and that's worth moaning about. You miserable fucker!

Fucker? Me? Nah! Why do you think I love that stick so much and covet a Rampant Rabbit?!

Dont have a problem with it. But then i have kids with SN for whom a little extra goes a long way (praise from school) My DD has such low self-esteem it does not matter what I say to her, but praise from a 3rd party (teacher - child-minder) does wonders. She has HF autism. Why should kids like this be disadvantaged because some parent think its a bit over-the-top in the praise departement. Anything that pramotes self-esteem is good from MPOV. (By the way she gives her all to every prject as that is one of her issues (personality).

What about those dc that never get told they are great just for being them? Not everyone has supportive, loving parents, you know. I certainly don't. You only have to look at the stately homes thread on here to see that a lot of children never got told this sort of thing at home - why would you begrudge that?

Yeah, it's vomit worthy but so are many songs, stories and activities for 5 year olds.

It's kind of sweet and good that the school are teaching them to value themselves. If the children were 8+ I'd say YANBU and it is too twee and fluffy. But for 5 year olds I think it's ok.

God I hate Mumsnet at the moment.

OP I'd call it a day, there are a lot of bored eejits looking for a fight.

Yes, read that thread a while back. Many of the parents on it sounded just like my late mother whom I recently described to a friend as a cross between a volcano and an iceberg. So yes, I understand what it is to have such a parent. However, I still feel that for praise to be of any value it must be genuine and for something that involved actual effort. Just mouthing the words, as my mother did when she felt it to be necessary, for example, when meeting future in-laws and feeling that she couldn't say that her daughter was a great disappointment because of how that made her look, is worthless. Even a five year old can tell the difference!
Looking forward to your psycho analysis of my attitude, ladies.