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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To spend so much on ds for his birthday

171 replies

yippeekaiyay · 10/10/2011 12:44

Ds (age 5) has never really been one to play with toys. He likes to be on his bike/scooter/trampoline/playing at shooting basketball hoops etc.

When indoors (rare) he likes to play on his wii, dsi, paint/draw/colour in and watch films (I have got him in to all the films I loved as a child - neverending story/labrynth/drop dead fred etc)

Asked him what he wants for his birthday and he replied he wanted an xbox 360 with kinect. Its really expensive, so I am considering getting the xbox for birthay in november and kinect and games can come off santa

My mum thinks think is completely ott and ridiculous. That it is far too much to spend on a 5 year old and I should buy him somethingh for £20-£30

AIBU to want to buy him what he actually wants?

OP posts:

Slacking9to5 · 10/10/2011 13:54

'm even buying both my 4 and 6 year olds a laptop and a digital camera each for Christmas this year! What of it? They respect electronic goods, I don't see the problem.

Priceless.

adjusts cardi

Original poster

yippeekaiyay · 10/10/2011 13:55

chicletteeth I am with you on your post, and I was considering a notebook for ds until he mentioned a ds. He has got a camcorder and digicam and has looked after them extremely well. He doesn't let other children play with his outdoor toys in the street either unless he has my permission.

Its offensive to name call about a 5 year old. None of you know my son do you?

No, he wont notice the wii missing - IF I TRADE IT IN FOR AN XBOX.......he would be too excited about the xbox.....

OP posts:

PumpkinBones · 10/10/2011 13:55

You described him as "very destructive" which is quite different from "careless with toys with small bits." It does imply agression and deliberate destruction.

chicletteeth · 10/10/2011 13:55

Ah, but slacking you are making the assumption that I am spending vast amounts of money on these things are you not?
My kids christmas presents come in at well below £100 each, and this year is no exception

Slacking9to5 · 10/10/2011 13:57

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

chicletteeth · 10/10/2011 13:57

Also, please tell me why this is priceless? Why would I let them play on mine and my husbands pc's when they can have a low-spec one of their own? Which has cost me less than most of the other gadgetry and kids stuff out there?

Please elaborate

Original poster

yippeekaiyay · 10/10/2011 13:58

I don't expect support.

I do expect my son not to be called names by an adult on a public forum.

OP posts:

chicletteeth · 10/10/2011 13:58

If you think that having material goods make a child spoilt, then I suggest your review your parenting technique.

'Tis not a foregone conclusion that this is the case.

Slacking9to5 · 10/10/2011 13:58

It's never about the money chickleteeth, it never is. Plenty of people can afford to spend eyewatering amounts on their children but they don't because they consider it a little bit, well, inappropriate.

chicletteeth · 10/10/2011 14:01

As do I slacking
I would not buy a state of the art notebook for my kids due to cost alone.

But you are suggesting that a child having technology means that they are spoilt, I think you are wrong and very, very judgemental.

ShirleyKnot · 10/10/2011 14:02

Deary me OP. You fell at the first hurdle here which was confessing that you're planning on buying something with money.

Naughty OP. NAUGHTY! I'm surprised you're even bothering to celebrate his birthday at all, YOU WILL SPOIL HIM YOU KNOW?

Slacking9to5 · 10/10/2011 14:04

chickleteeth do you really think a 4 and 6 year old need a laptop each?
My children, they share. They are very, very good at sharing. I could afford to buy them a laptop each, they are cheap as chips second hand, but we don't, because those values are not the ones we wish to pas son to our children.

JodieHarsh · 10/10/2011 14:06

Yebbut it's not about the amount of money spent on one item: it's about having lots and lots of STUFF all more or less the same, meaning that a child isn't really able to disinguish between what is of value and what is not. And wouldn't really have the skills to appreciate that you can't have everything all the time instantly.

Original poster

yippeekaiyay · 10/10/2011 14:06

Slacking9to5 presumably you are now of the opinion that chicletteeth's children can't share and are very very bad at sharing.....

OP posts:

notso · 10/10/2011 14:06

CauldronsTrulyReign Completely agree.

chicletteeth Either your 4 and 6 yo spend way too much time on the computer or your going to have two underused laptops, what a waste.

I think in some cases parents buying their children what they think they should have is worse than spoiling them.

picnicbasketcase · 10/10/2011 14:07

I don't see why people have such a problem with children playing games. The OP has already said he also likes being outside, drawing pictures etc - it doesn't sound like this is a child permanently glued to a games console, and if she thinks he'd like the darned thing and she can afford it, why shouldn't she get it? Computer games are about balancing the time spent on them with other activities. It's only a problem when they play games to the exclusion of everything else, surely.

I don't think a child having a lot of toys necessarily makes them spoilt, it makes them lucky. It's their attitude, behaviour, skill at sharing etc that marks them out as a brat, not the number of toys they own.

chicletteeth · 10/10/2011 14:08

They don't need a laptop each, no.
But they play very different games due to different capabilities and it's just easier to have two.

I don't see that giving them re-fitted laptops is passing on bad values? What am I missing here. And my children are also good a sharing. Ooohhh, surprise surprise there eh?
So there's nothing inherently wrong with them using a computer obviously. The computers are cheap - so why not one each? You've said it's not about money so whats it about?

Would you make your kids share a bike or a scooter?

What's the difference.

Theas18 · 10/10/2011 14:09

Yup!

But as already said your kid your money..... but I rather suspect you are buying for a 5yr old who has been indoctrinated by TV ads....

What about actually playing with him and teaching him to play/enjoy toys and games- they are not the "instant gratification" and fast eye stimulation that is the big addictive pull of screen games, but they are not teaching him life skills- turn taking, interacting with real people, learning to loose etc. Children aren't all born just knowing how to play they need a helper y'know.

He destroys toys to get attention from the people that matter to him ie you and his dad.

Totally agree "family time on the Xbox" is soo soo wrong.

sallymonella · 10/10/2011 14:10

YABU. It is too much to spend on a 5 year old's birthday present. If I found out that a child in my DS's class had had that much spent on their birthday present (as well as receiving a new bike) I would be and peed off that now MY 5 year old would expect the same.

(ok, maybe he would not expect the same, but it would be noted!)

Also, I just don't think that buying all these gadgets teaches children the value of money. "Oh, you don't play much on your Wii? That's ok, we'll get rid of that and buy you a different console instead", money's no object obviously. The trouble is, although you can afford to buy these things, at some point in the future your DS will have to start buying his own 'toys' and if he can't afford it will he turn to credit cards?

Ok, stop me now... I may be over-thinking this

chicletteeth · 10/10/2011 14:10

Notso they play for about 45 minutes a day.
They also use it to skype their grandparents and my eldest like to do his homework on it (he's nearly 7).

It depends on what you call underused though doesn't it?
We have about 10 laptops in this house anyway, collected over the years and kept for parts etc...

Why is an underused laptop worse than an understand boardgame if the laptop was cheap (not that cost is the issue here)

Slacking9to5 · 10/10/2011 14:10

I just reckon some folk have very odd values, is all.

Woman at school, kids in tatty clothes, battered shoes, benefits, free meals etc. kids don;t do any sports or activities.
Both kids have I phones.

Just a bit fucked up, IMHO.

Although DS is convinced everyone with an Xbox is is far richer than us .

chicletteeth · 10/10/2011 14:11

And we don't have TV

chicletteeth · 10/10/2011 14:13

You are making sweeping generalisations Slacking and it's really very uncalled for. What's the woman at yoru school got to do with any of this?

Please answer my questions directed at you in an earlier post since you seem to think these are odd values. I'm genuinely interested in your opinion.

ShirleyKnot · 10/10/2011 14:15

My children have an xbox (and a kinnect) and a wii and a Playstation and DS's and i-pods and..well loads of stuff.

They are lovely kids. My eldest saved up his chore/pocket money and xmas/birthday money to buy himself an electric guitar and amp. My youngest is saving for a gaming laptop. They know the value of money and they share their shit perfectly well.

Ragwort · 10/10/2011 14:15

Cauldrens - absolutely agree with you - but after too many years on Mumsnet I just avoid these type of threads now as my views are totally old-fashioned .

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