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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think this is a bit weird?

59 replies

BettyDrapersWardrobeElf · 09/10/2011 08:06

I'm pretty sure IANBU but may just be being a bit precious. I have an 11 month old DS and spend a lot of time with a friend who has an 8 mo DD. So we met up yesterday to go for a walk in the park and when I dropped my friend off at her house she hugged me and gave DS a kiss - but like a proper full on mouth kiss? He had his mouth open (cos he's an 11 mo baby) and she seemed to think this was funny and kissed him in the mouth again. I was a bit but didn't know what to say? I feel like I should have said something - like "like can you please Stop doing that?"

So what do you think. Am I being a bit precious or is this really inappropriate? And if it is wwyd? Would you have just left it or would you have said something? Been feeling really guilty about it and feel like a I have let my son down? although obviously he wasn't bothered in the slightest and was his usual smiley giggly self. I just feel like it's weird to do that to someone else's child. We are not big mouth kissers with relatives though, we are cheek kissers so not sure if I'm just out of step with the rest of the world?

OP posts:

Amaunet · 09/10/2011 22:00

YABU. If she's a trusted friend and is close with your child then why would you feel weird about her showing affection? Still, it's your baby so just tell her how you feel. I have no doubt at all though that she was being sweet.

It's a funny world we live in where people get offended by other adults in the child's life developing a bond with their LOs.

biddysmama · 09/10/2011 22:05

i kis my littlies on the lips, not my 9 year old tho. ive got a 13 month old that likes to give kisses with his mouth open, i think its cute

Amaunet · 09/10/2011 22:16

"I rather doubt you would so in real life"

Ahhh... someone elese who thinks that it's totally impossible for people to disagree with them and be sincere.

Does it not occur to you that not everyone feels the same way do? So, because you're all wierd about affection eveyone else has to be too? I suppose thinking like that must make you feel better about your quite unnatural aversion to affection but it doesn't make it true.

TastyMuffins · 09/10/2011 22:22

Each to their own, I don't much care for slobbery milky baby mouths and would kiss a dog as soon as kiss someone else's dribbley kid on the lips but I do kiss my own DS on the lips -then wipe slobber off-.

ChippingIn · 09/10/2011 22:27

I'm sorry, but if you allow/encourage/don't stop your DS kissing you on the lips he's going to do it to other people... they don't know the difference.

If I go to kiss someone else's child I'll always kiss them on the cheeks/neck/forehead etc, but when they kiss you and go for your lips they sometimes get quite cross if you turn your head so you get 'treat' to a lovely slobbery mouth open kiss... what can you do?

Even older kids - I'll kiss their cheeks if I kiss them, but if they kiss me and kiss me on the lips that's up to them.

I really don't understand at all how you feel you have let your son down? That really does imply you think your friend did something inappropriate. I think you do need to look at why you feel this way.

PetisaPumpkinHead · 09/10/2011 23:15

My dd2 (13 months) opens her mouth wide, plants it on my pursed lips and waggles her tongue over my lips, so I get the full snog, it's hilarious! She shakes her head at other people when they want a kiss though, v cute.

whatdoiknowanyway · 10/10/2011 08:56

I have never kissed my own children on the lips and feel a little panicked if I see anyone else doing it with their children.

So I must have issues, right?

Right.

My grandad did this and everyone said it was fine, lovely, innocent, affectionate. So how does a young child tell its trusting family that things are going further when they're not around and she hates it and she doesn't know what to do?

Because it's sweet, and natural and innocent...

Nope, sorry, I'm with the OP. If you are not comfortable with it then tell your friend.

whatdoiknowanyway · 10/10/2011 08:57

PS not suggesting anything untoward re your friend, just that her way of displaying affection shouldn't trump yours if it makes you uncomfortable.

Ineedacleaneriamalazyslattern · 10/10/2011 09:25

I am kind of on the fence with this. If you feel uncomfortable then nobody can say you shouldn't but at the same time I do think it's a bit sad actually.
I have a few very close female friends and we are generally pretty affectionate with each others dc as we know them so well.
I have one friend and ds2 nearly 16 months adores her (and her rather cosy big boobs) and he often goes in for a big slobbery open mouth kiss with her and recently at a wedding he sat on her knee kissing her over and over again and she would have been so hurt if I had told her to stop.
On the same token I took her 2 dc to school the other day for her as she was ill and I gave them both a kiss as I did with my own dc as I would have felt bad them going off to school with no kiss for the day

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