to think that things in your supermarket trolley aren't yours until you have paid for them

[jandymaccomesback]

This morning in Tesco we kept passing a womanwith a child in a trolley. We first saw her in fruit and veg, as she peeled a banana and handed it to the child. Next time we saw her the child was eating from a packet of cheese strings. Finally we saw her opening a carton of juice. All of these things came off the shelf. DH was so enraged he wanted to tell the staff, but I persuaded him not to. To me this is wrong, even if you intend to pay,and definitely gives a message to the child that she can help herslf. AIBU?

Shellyboobs, no problem. I love your name!

goodasgold, thanks.

We're never going to agree. Personally I think it's just bad manners. Especially if it's an adult eating. If it's a child eating things before they have been paid for then that's teaching them bad manners and poor planning on the parents behalf.

I have a 16 month old. He understands things have to be paid for. It's surprising what they can understand if you actually are consistent.

TheSkiing I really don't think he understands that you have to pay for things, only that he has to wait.

ruby, I think supermarkets are stuck though, aren't they?

If they put up signs saying you can't consume anything before paying, some people would take umbrage and they'd be risking losing customers.

So maybe they 'grin and bear it', rather than tacitly approve?

You do all know this subject has been done to death a million times on previous threads. I can't for the life of me work out why some of you get so het up about this subject!

True. He probably only understands that he can't have it until I've done some wierd dance with the cashier. But he doesn't fuss if I say "No, it has to be paid for"

And I didn't say bad parenting. I said I think it's bad manners and therefore demonstrates poor planning and example setting on the parents behalf. But that's my opinion and what I see when I see children chomping on things from the trolley.

Your 16 month old doesnt understand that things have to be paid for.

I dont think its bad manners. Well if you think eating in public or eating as you are walking along is bad manners it is.

I am going to pay, I am a customer, I am not making a mess or causing a nuisance.

I ask politely at the checkout if they would mind putting the packaging in the bin and smile nicely.

They get their money, I am not hungry anymore. We are all happy.

X post.

I dont think its poor planning either.

It seems a bit of a technicality if I take a packet of prebought (from the same supermarket the week before) organix carrot puffs for one of the DCs to eat rather than give them some and pay for them on the way out.

I have to wonder how I managed to do the supermarket shop with three dses who are close in age, without ever feeding them on the way round, either with something I'd bought from home or something from the shop.

Re: the 'do you pay in advance in a restaurant*?' - that is a silly comparison, as the two are totally different set-ups. And in a garage, you fill your tank before going to pay - but you haven't used any of the fuel until you get back to your car, get in and drive away. You don't go and do a few miles and then come back and pay.

• • ie restaurant with waiter/ress service, not a fast food restaurant like McDonalds.

Mostly I just leave mine at home with OH and munch my own way round the supermarket.

Dead common, badly organised and rude.

Thats me

The self righteousness and smugness over such an inocuous thing. I guess supermarket shopping is so dull that one must get one's kicks somewhere and where better than to stand in moral high ground over other parents. But what gets me is this sense of superiority over giving a kid a snack that is then paid for at the till. Get a LIFE

Like the millions of pound profit making supermarkets give a shit.
You'll be paying at the checkout, I'd like to hear of anybody, anywhere that has got to the checkout and hasn't been able to pay for opened goods.

I do this with my kids...we have the cash in the wallet...whats not to assume these people dont...i allow it with my kids because its easier to make trhem behave...we always scan the used produce...i am very honest.

If your card doesn't work at the petrol station, or if their card system breaks down, they will have a system in place to deal with that situation, incognito. The point remains that 1) Fill tank 2) Pay at kiosk is an accepted way to buy petrol - that's how the petrol stations have set up for you to do it - therefore they are happy for you to do it that way, and to take the risk that there might be a problem with payment. The supermarket is not set up to operate that way - you are expected to pay for the stuff before consuming it, except in certain situations - ie the mumsnetter whose dc had thrown up all over themselves - no-one would complain about them changing the child and taking the tags to the checkout, or a diabetic suddenly becoming hypoglycaemic.

Regarding the 'sense of moral superiority' sneer - what's wrong with teaching children to wait until something has been paid for? Why is that such a terrible thing to do?

What's wrong is the judging of other parents and what they choose to do with their dcs. Every parent has their own moral compass that they teach their dcs and that is diffeent for everyone. So what is wrong is feeling morally superior to other parents because you value making children wait and they live to other values.

When I was walking round Tescos last night, I noticed a chocolate wrapper on the floor. When I looked again, I saw another, opened, half eaten, and put back on the shelf.

I sometimes see parents with kids in the trolley letting them help themselves to stuff. I don't really believe it gets paid for.

hey Piglet how do you know its not one of the supermarket staff helping themselves. Haven't you seen trollied?

"So piglet we are all liars???"

Where did you get that from?

I describe something I saw yesterday and what I believe, and you claim I've accused you of lying?