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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this person was just having a dig at me, by saying "i wish i had nothing better to do than spend all day making a pumpkin" "chance would be a fine thing"

71 replies

carriedababi · 07/10/2011 16:05

ok, so dds school the children are making pumpkins for halloween, so as they are still doing mornings a few of us got together this pm and carved pumpkins, it was a lovely afternoon and we made the pumpkins, gave them silly names, all the children [about 10] played really nicely, us mums had a chat and a bit of a laugh so we had a really nice time anyway on the way home from this friends house, it was school run time, bumped into a friend, who i've only known for 1 year, more of a friend of a friend but anyway.

but when we bumped into each other she seemed a bit off, said to me, "oh i wish i had nothing better to do allday other than make pumpkins"

and then something along the lines of "chance will be a fine thing"

its not as if we have spend the whole day making them, they took aout 30mins the rest of the time then children played

do you think she was having a pop? it was just her maner didn;t seem quite right, she wasn't left out of the gruop or anything as her child is at ft school.

i think shes not that happy in her job, but shes the one with a 500K house and 2 massive 4x4s, shes making her choices in life as we all are, she could easily downsize as you can buy house for half that round here.
but i don;t make digs at her.

anyway what do you think, was she having a pop?

OP posts:
Original poster
carriedababi · 07/10/2011 17:04

there doing some sort of halloween party next week, not sure why they are doing it so early, they have to be in by monday.

OP posts:
pointydog · 07/10/2011 17:23

Making pumpkins sounds fine.

Pondering at length about such a small comment seems a waste of time

ArfurBrain · 07/10/2011 17:30

I'd love to have time to sit around all day making pumpkins.
Sadly I'm far too busy sitting around on MN....

isthisweird · 07/10/2011 17:40

Weeelll, firstly the pedant in me would like to say that you weren't 'making pumpkins, you were carving pumpkins.

Secondly, yes, it was a dig. For some reason I have it mentally stored that you live near or in the same town as me (not stalking, promise!) And if that is the case then you are absolutely right that it's possible to live in a nice house for half the cost of her house. In fact, I live in a lovely 4 bed house in a good area that cost half hers did and I, too, have all the time in the world to be carving pumpkins.

alemci · 07/10/2011 17:55

She probably is jealous of you and your lifestyle. I read something the other day that being bitchy or criticisising someone else often means you would rather be in their position and you envy them.

She would probably like to have some time to herself and who can blame her

I must admit I used to get fed up with some of my friends who didn't work and had loads of money and I was working every day term time so I can understand where she is coming from.

But it was probably a bit thoughtless of her. Just let it wash over you.

TakeThisOneHereForAStart · 07/10/2011 18:16

Perhaps the party is next week because halloween falls during half term.

Original poster
carriedababi · 07/10/2011 18:48

i wouldn't normally give a comment like this much time, i'd let it go in one ear and out the other, its just because shes suppose to be a friend, within a group of friends, im trying to work out if shes a friend or a foe!!

OP posts:
aldiwhore · 07/10/2011 21:45

She probably IS a 'friend' as most people are at least semi-human and prone to the odd snidey remark/off day. (Some people are absolutely extra terrestrial crazies who just function on no human level at all, they're best avoided or befriended and watched VERY closely).

But hecate is right. Have fun with it, learn a few witty comebacks, or adopt a 'raised eyebrow' stance, have sarcasm on standby and have fun... life's too short to take offence at stupid comments, if they're from normally decent people, then you can return the favour one day and smile, if they're from cold hearted selfish arseholes, they're not worth the worry.

I would say... she is probably a friend with a loose diplomacy wire who'd had a bad day or is having a stressful time of it. More a cry for 'attention' than a slight on your pumpkin carving timetable.

LeQueen · 07/10/2011 21:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dozer · 07/10/2011 22:00

Hear hear le queen.

scottishmummy · 07/10/2011 22:00

Youre having a pop by mention of house price and cars
And obligatory not happy in job.so you feel ok to surmise that,but aghast at presumed assumption about you
Kettle
Pot
Black

LeQueen · 07/10/2011 22:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scottishmummy · 07/10/2011 22:17

And in concordant spirit I agree with you lequeen
How v convivial of us

whiteoleander · 07/10/2011 22:28

She probably was having a dig. But from this and your other post about someone's wardrobe, I reckon you've got her back up to be honest, so she is just getting her own back.
Sorry. Everyone's entitled to express their view but you don't come across at all well and I suspect the same is true in RL.

Trills · 07/10/2011 22:30

Won't it be all soggy and rotting by Halloween?

Original poster
carriedababi · 07/10/2011 22:31

the thread started yesterday about hd, was about me finding the way she says she deserves it sickening.
that thread is still going strong as you know.
so best to keep that one on there really

my only reason for even mentioning on here that this person today in rl has this certain lifestyle is purely to inform that she probably doesn't have to work ft.
but of course i don't really know her that well, and im sure she knows more about her life than i do, and what is right for her.

i completely agree its perfectly possible to live in a nice house, wear nice clothes and get a lot of pleasure from doing the simple things in life.
never said it isn'tSmile

OP posts:
Trills · 07/10/2011 22:32

And what LeQueen and scottishmummy said

(strange that they said the same, I don;t think of th two as kindred spirits)

middleagedPeteDohertyfan · 07/10/2011 22:35

Pumpkins not in shops yet! And would be going off, even by Monday

ChippingIn · 07/10/2011 22:36

Trills - read the OP's posts.

Maybe she was just having a really shitty day and was just thinking out loud... wishing she didn't have to do whatever the hell she had to do today and could have been carving pumpkins. Unless she makes a habit of it, I'd just feel a little sorry for her tbh.

LeQueen · 07/10/2011 22:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pandemoniaa · 07/10/2011 22:58

I think you are massively overthinking this. Why get into this "friend or foe" nonsense at all? She may well have just had a crap day and meeting you and your pumpkins was the last thing she needed.

Original poster
carriedababi · 07/10/2011 23:07

you and your pumpkins just made me spit my drink out!

lol

OP posts:
Laquitar · 07/10/2011 23:11

'I wish i had the time....' would be fine.

'Nothing better...' sounds rude but it depends on the person. Maybe it wasn't calculated rude but just clumsy rude. So you will only find out when/if you get to know her better.

troisgarcons · 07/10/2011 23:13

"oh i wish i had nothing better to do allday other than make pumpkins"

If that were me, it would be whistful

Fixture · 07/10/2011 23:23

"The grass is always greener on the other side..."