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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

<gulp> my first serious AIBU before I storm the staff room...

81 replies

PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn · 07/10/2011 15:42

Disclaimer: This is not a joke, I seriously want to know if IABU before I speak with the teacher on monday.
DDs class are doing their showing assembly next friday and DD is "the werewolf" - so far so good, they're doing the story of "Big Black Riding Hoodie".
DD brought a copy of the script home tonight, and the narrator child has to say (twice, once quietly and then again loudly) "It's the fat and ugly werewolf" as DD makes her appearance from "behind a tree". AIBU to think that "hairy scary werewolf" or "big fanged wild eyed werewolf" or "Riding Hoodie eating werewolf" would be better than "fat and ugly"?
Those are words that should not be uttered in school, let alone meant to be funny and/or entertaining and scripted by the teacher. There are one or two really big kids at the school who are seriously overweight, and even if they were all as thin as rakes, I just don't think "fat and ugly" should be bandied about. Or am I just being precious?
I will be speaking to the teacher on monday, even if IABU I can be as unreasonable as the next person when I want but I wondered if anyone else would feel this was "iffy" or if it is just me. sometimes things are Just Me, I don't always have the same reactions as other people to stuff so I'm never quite sure

OP posts:
worldgonecrazy · 07/10/2011 15:44

YANBU. It's a horrible thing to say and leaves your DD open to some nasty comments, regardless of whether she is fat or ugly.

JosieRosie · 07/10/2011 15:45

You're right OP - this is not appropriate language to be using in a school (or anywhere). So YANBU, I would want to speak to school too. I would try to be as calm as possible when speaking to the teacher - you get further with honey than with vinegar etc. Hope it goes well Smile

stepawayfromtheecclescakes · 07/10/2011 15:45

Yup very iffy and totally uneccessary, don't they teach respect etc in circle time? if so they are going against all the values of it, whats in the school mission statement?

NellieForbush · 07/10/2011 15:45

I think your suggestion of 'hairy scary werewolf' is much better on many levels. I'm not normally overly PC but "It's the fat and ugly werewolf" doesn't sit well with me when used about my daughter

MyMamaToldMe · 07/10/2011 15:45

Totally agree with worldgonecrazy - YANBU

buzzskeleton · 07/10/2011 15:45

YANBU

VelvetSnowBlush · 07/10/2011 15:46

YANBU, but I wouldn't storm the staffroom, a quiet word may get better results :)

MarginallyNarkyPuffin · 07/10/2011 15:46

Lots of people will say it's nothing. I think it's unnecessary. And just daft. There are many adjectives to describe a werewolf. 'Fat' does not spring to mind. Hairy and scary make much more sense.

Firawla · 07/10/2011 15:46

yanbu it does not seem right

LindsayWagner · 07/10/2011 15:47

Yanbu, deffo.

NellieForbush · 07/10/2011 15:48

Exactly Marginally. Fat and ugly just don't work very well when describing a werewolf.

worraliberty · 07/10/2011 15:50

I thought the fact it's called "Big Black Riding Hoodie" would cause more outrage than the obesity bit Grin

gethelp · 07/10/2011 15:50

I wouldn't be delighted with the proximity of black and hoodie tbh, depends on the script I guess.

pippilongsmurfing · 07/10/2011 15:50

I would be a bit Confused as werewolves aren't fat even are they? I suppose the ugly bit is debateable though.

I don't think there is any need to use these words, and FWIW I think hairy and scary or something similar sounds much better.

gethelp · 07/10/2011 15:51

You beat me worra.

Ayoop · 07/10/2011 15:52

The Big Black Riding Hoodie?

carabos · 07/10/2011 15:54

I too thought the outrage was going to be about the Big Black Hoodie part, although the fat and ugly part isn't great either. YANBU.

ShroudOfHamsters · 07/10/2011 15:55
Hmm

Big Black Riding Hoodie?

Werewolves are not generally described as 'fat and ugly'

This sounds mad. OP I love the idea of you crashing through the staffroom window on a rope, dressed as the Milk Tray Man. Go for it. This sounds awful.

Proudnreallyveryscary · 07/10/2011 15:58

You're not being unreasonable, but do say it reasonably. No need for ranting and a-raving.

proudfoot · 07/10/2011 15:58

YANBU

For one thing they should be learning better description than that! "Fat and ugly" is not a catch all negative description of anyone/thing FGS Hmm It is not really suited to a wolf and is typical bullying language. I would not be keen either and would want a word.

TimeWasting · 07/10/2011 15:59

What's scary about a fat werewolf? Outrun him easy.

But no YANBU at all, terrible example to be setting the kids.

What's the Big Black Riding Hoodie title mean though?

WilsonFrickett · 07/10/2011 16:00

Hairy and scary is much better, because it rhymes!

OP, I think you should look at the whole script to see if there's any other language like that and then bring it all up (you can wear your Milk Tray outfit if you want, though!) - what I mean is, don't make it about your DD, make it about all the language that is used.

talkingnonsense · 07/10/2011 16:01

Have the children written it themselves as a modern update? In which case just possibly the fat and ugly was the best that child could do. However, as aI teacher I would have found a way to soften it as I agree it would be horrid for larger children to hear.

Hullygully · 07/10/2011 16:01

Big Black Riding Hoodie?

No way!

Fat and ugly werewolf is like er mad

Original poster
PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn · 07/10/2011 16:03

The "storming" bit is more the getting the teacher to emerge and talk to me if it's not her day for the playground duty, although I would LOVE to abseil in through the window in twenty yards or so of black lycra and a winning smile Grin
If it's not her duty, the lovely secretary can hear all about it and pass it on to the teacher, and it's parents evening on Tuesday so I have an appointment to see her then. I'd just prefer to see her separately and asap about this so they can start to remind the narrator that he needs to NOT say "fat and ugly" - they've been in rehearsal for a fortnight Confused.
I think the "Big Black Hoodie" is the actual garment the lead character is wearing, it belonged to someone's dad I think and envelops her completely.
I'd have been Hmm and :( about the "fat ugly wolf" no matter which child it was, it's just that because it's my DD, I have a copy of the script before the actual performance thankfully, I don't know how I'd have felt to have just heard it on the day and have it be DD it was said to!

OP posts: