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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that pedantic grammar policing should be abandoned on here?

103 replies

Enoughreally · 06/10/2011 23:45

There are plenty of people with very valid questions and opinions that seem to be slated from the very minute that they post. The only objection I have is the lack of paragraphs in an OP,that renders me cross-eyed.
Surely, if everyone can actually understand what is written,there is no need for constant correction (intimidation) of new posters. It would be good if some character could be allowed to shine.

OP posts:

bibbitybobbityhat · 07/10/2011 00:13

Just give me one or two recent examples op. I genuinely think, on the whole, there is not a lot of snobbishness about poor spelling on this site.

We have had quite a lot of recent threads from newbs along the lines of Aibu to be appalled at the poor standard of grammar/spelling on this site, and they have all roundly been told yabu.

SamMiguel · 07/10/2011 00:13

LeBof, you may not but many would. Especially those who have been signposted to the site as a source of help and advice. If someone posts with a problem, they should be not be judged on their spelling/grammar/level of education and then be subjected to sweeping generalisations. Also, it is usually pretty obvious when a newbie who doesn't understand the culture is posting, especially on AIBU. Why jump on them? It's like blood sport. Some seem to enjoy humiliating others. The op in the thread I am thinking of was only 21, women possibly twice her age were goading her. How would they feel if she was their daughter?

spiderslegs · 07/10/2011 00:14

I don't think spelling or grammar are a problem until the OP shows they are an utter cunt.

Then all bets are off.

If they're nice/reasonable no-one says anything.

Unless they speak in a stream of consciousness txt spk lack of paragraphs & all their talk merges into an utterly incomprehensible river of nonsensical shite & it means nothing because it is rambling & rambling & you can't be bothered to read it because it is shite & it makes your head hurt yet it goes on & on & on with no punctuation & you think but yes what is your problem but you do not know because the shit goes & goes on giving in the same monotone for ever ad infinitum QED

SamMiguel · 07/10/2011 00:14

Bibbity, have a look at the thread about the wedding and the christening on the same day.

Kayano · 07/10/2011 00:16

I got called a wanker on a thread once and it was totally uncalled for!
I responded saying I thought it was very rude to actually call me names, and then the person who had been rude talked down to me because of a spelling mistake!

And that was on relationships! I was

LeBOF · 07/10/2011 00:16

I agree with you.

But there are also lots of troll types who post their first OPs in that style to deliberately get a rise out of people.

However, if somebody seems to have a genuine problem, I wouldn't dream of jumping on them for poor syntax.

Maryz · 07/10/2011 00:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Enoughreally · 07/10/2011 00:21

Bibbi,too many people seem to feel the need to apologise for obvious spelling mistakes. Why bother? They're scared of being jumped on.

OP posts:

LeBOF · 07/10/2011 00:22

I think this is the thread, Maryz, but I haven't posted on it.

SamMiguel · 07/10/2011 00:25

That's the thread I'm referring to. Can't speak for Enoughreally and say her op was prompted by it but it was a glaring example for me.

Maryz · 07/10/2011 00:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bibbitybobbityhat · 07/10/2011 00:27

Am going to bed but have read the first few hundred posts from the op who is getting married to someone who hasn't told their child's mother about the wedding and is not going to her christening, and she seems to have had a lot of good advice with no comment whatsoever about her poor written skills.

A lot of posters correct their obvious typos on here because there is no edit facility and they do not want other people to think they are sloppy spellers or have not noticed there/their obvious mistake. It is not because they think they are going to be jumped on! A lot of people take pride in how they express themselves, tis all.

yellowraincoat · 07/10/2011 00:34

I don't think it matters whether the OP is being a wanker or not. If they are and are then jumped on for poor spelling or grammar, others might be put off posting if they don't feel confident of their spelling.

I don't feel that poor spelling or grammar makes an OP MORE of a wanker, but that's the impression some people give when they criticise spelling and grammar.

Only thing that bothers me is when something isn't paragraphed at all. Makes it impossible to read.

SamMiguel · 07/10/2011 00:45

If the op in that thread had been perfect spelling and grammar, do you really think the op would have been directed to the Jeremy Kyle Show? The implication was there early on in the thread. If it had read:

My DP and I have been planning our wedding for 6 months and, due to a total breakdown in communication with his ex and mother of his toddler dd, we felt unable to discuss it with her directly. We did, however, let my dp's mother tell her. We asked whether dsd could be present at the wedding and were met with a resounding "no". We have now discovered that dsd's mother has booked her Christening for the day of wedding! This demonstrates why we felt unable to discuss it with her in the first place as we knew she would do something like this. I have suggested rearranging the wedding so that dp is able to attend the Christening but he feels that this is playing into her hands and will do nothing to stop her manipulative behaviour. What should we do?

Jeremy Kyle would not have been mentioned. It was obvious that the op was unfamiliar with mumsnet and AIBU and posters sniped over her "confusing grammar" and her choice of vocabulary (choosing to refer to a 2 year old as a baby). Maybe it's just me but it was very uncomfortable reading.

reelingintheyears · 07/10/2011 00:48

SamMiguel.

Well put.

SamMiguel · 07/10/2011 00:49

Oh and posted just minutes ago on that thread by a lovely supportive mumsnetter,
"Is anyone else dying to point out "he dont" should be "he doesn't"? I feel awful for caring more about that than the OP..."

empirestateofmind · 07/10/2011 00:49

I really hate poor spelling and grammar and I always usually check my posts before posting.

However some errors are funny. A few days ago someone said 'stollen' in a thread title; it made the title sound like a Christmas question and it made me smile. The comments on it and reply from the OP were in jest and no offence was taken.

SamMiguel · 07/10/2011 00:50

empire, I saw that, it was funny and no offence was intended or taken.

empirestateofmind · 07/10/2011 00:59

SamMiguel I did look at the thread but only read the first few pages so didn't see the Jeremy Kyle bit. I will go back and have another look.

My point is that reading a long thread where the English is poor is hard work. It has to be a very exciting thread to make me plough through.

SamMiguel · 07/10/2011 01:14

Empire, I agree but there is a difference between finding a thread hard work due to bad grammar/spelling so ignoring it and feeling the need to comment and ridicule the op. I know I sound like I'm banging on about this but I know many, many people like the op in that thread through my work and the way they are looked down upon is terrible.

TheTenantOfWildfellHall · 07/10/2011 07:15

Actually, I wouldn't comment but I do find it hard to read posts with poor grammar.

Spellings, that's fine. People find spellings difficult, typos etc. and I understand that some people find grammar difficult too, but that doesn't mean the posts aren't difficult to read.

It's the difference between skimming a post and understanding it and having to read it out loud a couple of times to make sense of it.

I think it's bad form to comment on it though.

I know the thread that's being referred to and it is was hard work. Didn't make the OP's query or feelings less genuine or valid though.

meditrina · 07/10/2011 07:23

Mums net has a whole form, called Pedants' Corner, where all such threads should go.

I think this is a good system as it's easily hidden by those who don't like it (but actually a friendly, polite and informative place if you go there)

YABU to want to outlaw discussion of grammar.

But YANBU at all in wanting it in its proper place. There has been an outbreak if threads recently about grammar on the main boards and I think that's wrong. I do post on them - linking Pedants's Corner and pointing out (as I have here) why we have it.

But the thread police aren't popular either.

meditrina · 07/10/2011 07:24

Picking up on genuine isolated typos in a friendly, funny way is fine - anyone else remember the ticking cock?

CogitoErgoSometimes · 07/10/2011 07:26

YABU... Most of the time that someone gets picked up on their grammar spelling it's because they're making some high-handed point about someone else's intelligence, or the standards in schools. If you read

Can you believe my DD's stupid teacher got them to do a homework project on sossiges this week?!! Education in this country is going to the dogs!

It's just too tempting :)

altinkum · 07/10/2011 07:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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