Get annoyed when people assume they will be healthy and alive into old age

[lesley33]

Yes people are living longer. Yes if you live healthily you cut down the risk of certain illnesses. But many people still die relatively young and many elderly people have major illnesses.

So a third of men die before they are 65. And on a personal level, my incredibly fit and healthy looking aunt at 78 who still goes long long hill walks, had a heart bypass 7 years ago. My fit 84 year old neighbour had cancer in her 60's. And I know numerous people who lived very healthy lives and died in their 60's.

You may be lucky and live a long life with no major illness until near the end. Some people do. But please don't assume that is the norm, because it isn't.

Well I've got one foot in the grave and one on a banana skin then

From a psychological point of view you should not think about illness and dying in young-old age.

You should think optimistically, not because life is always rosy but because staying in the day and NOT projecting into the future is the best thing for mental health.

In a few years the scientists will hit on immortality in my opinion so i plan to live forever and that gives me infinite time to accomplish everything -

one of the dreams i would like to accomplish first is to punch Robson Green in the face wearing knuckle dusters in the shape of a goldfish

Ha, and yet if you'd phrased it as Steve Jobs did, "Live every day as if it were your last. One day you'll be right," everyone would be saying how inspirational this thread is.

I think I get what you're saying, Lesley. Would "Hope for the best but plan for the worst" also cover it?

we are all going to die. but i'm still going to exercise, eat healthy and try to guard against any major illnesses or accidents.

I am actually a very optimistic and positive person - honest! I just believe in doing things you want to while you can and not putting them off for sometime in the future.

Also being aware of your own mortality can imo help you to look after yourself better.

But a close friend dies recently very very suddenly and I am sure that is affecting how I view things at the moment. And it has affected other friends and made them do nice things that they had been putting off. I guess I mean don't live for the future, live for now.

Yes it would tianc

i agree with the op, especially when it comes to retirement age. we aren't living longer well nto all of us!

But lesley if people live for now rather than the future, their future may be pretty crap.

For example my DH and I are both working 14+ hour days at the moment. It's not much fun and if we "lived for now" we would jack those in and go lie on a beach somewhere. But we are working so that we can have time off when we have DC; buy a property; pay into a pension, etc etc. All things that will pay off in the future.

My granny died when she was in her 40s, so my mum always thought she'd die young too. She spent all her money and had lots of fun... and is now almost 90 and still going strong. Sadly, that means she's short of dosh! I think you have to keep a balance, and remember to save some money for your old age.

Yabu and starting a thread about a thread is unreasonable too. Grow some and discuss it on the related thread

I'm completely with you, Lesley.

It's all about hedging, innit? Plan in case you do have a future, but don't take it for granted.

I hadn't started a thread about a thread. I have actually been meaning to post this thread all this week - the other thread just jolted me to do it. As I said above, what has actually made me think about this, is the very sudden death of a close friend. She lived very healthily - right weight, going to the gym, ate fairly healthy, but died very suddenly.

And I do have a pension and life insurance. I'm not saying you shouldn't prepare for old age. Just that we never know what is going to happen round the corner - good or bad. This time next week I could be a millionaire from the lottery or dead.

Exactly Tianc!

And by the way, thinking optimistically may be good for your mental health, but it can be a right bugger for your physical health.

All those smokers who think it won't happen to them, drivers who don't wear seatbelts, ditto.

There's actually an effect called optimism bias where people commonly underestimate the risk and impact of things going wrong. It's such a serious problem on major projects that the Department of Transport has actually issued guidelines to reduce its impact.

You're probably still in shock OP. I'm sorry to hear that a friend of yours has died . I remember a very black time a few years ago when 3 people I loved all died within 6 months of each other. My DS's nanny (she had a stroke at 78), my boyfriend (he was a paraplegic and only 38), a fab friend who contracted lupus at the age of 52.

It will pass

Oh I hate that "live every day as though it is your last" tosh. If I did that I'd spend everyday eating my body weight in chocolate not inventing the IPod/Pad/Pud thingies.

Also reminds of a study about optimism and health. When people are younger optimism seems to have a good affect on health. But as you get into middle age and older, those who are more optimistic have significantly wose health. I think for the reasons you outline Tianc.

I have met loads of vegans who smoke and if anybody says anything about this, state that they think being a vegan cancels out the affects of smoking. No...it really doesn't.

I am actually a very optimistic person so I can understand why this can have a negative affect on health. I have put off going to the GP thinking x symptom will clear up shortly. And so when I have went I am much iller e.g. with chest infections. But as I haven't had any major health problems this hasn't caused me major problems. But it could have if I was older.

Thanks mums.

No you can't live every day as if it was your last - I agree thats rubbish. But don't put off the good fun times you can have for ages either e.g. I'll do that when I retire in 10 years time!

The only people I know who put things off to do later cant do them now as they havent got the money. So think you are beig unreasoable tbh. If people could afford to do everythig they wanted, they 95% off the time are doig it ime.

Perhaps that is more common amongst younger people? I know a lot of middle aged people who talk about what they are going to do when they retire e.g. go somewhere they have always wanted to go on holiday.

yeah I am younger and I think with my generation it is mostly unheard of to save for anything. Me and my friends just think fuck it might as well and do it with loans and overdrafts the money will be in your account almost instantly so why wait. All we have ever known I think since 18 as we are the credit generation. (I am 27)

Dont know many people of my age who think long term with pensions or savings, much more you only live once so cram everything in regardless of whether you can afford it.

Oh bugger I am 68 and I have just spent £6000 pounds on a new kitchen. Hope I get my moneys worth!!