Get annoyed when people assume they will be healthy and alive into old age

[lesley33]

Yes people are living longer. Yes if you live healthily you cut down the risk of certain illnesses. But many people still die relatively young and many elderly people have major illnesses.

So a third of men die before they are 65. And on a personal level, my incredibly fit and healthy looking aunt at 78 who still goes long long hill walks, had a heart bypass 7 years ago. My fit 84 year old neighbour had cancer in her 60's. And I know numerous people who lived very healthy lives and died in their 60's.

You may be lucky and live a long life with no major illness until near the end. Some people do. But please don't assume that is the norm, because it isn't.

It's a thread about a thread, about having a baby at 45. People were saying 45s not old, go for it, and then others saying that you can't presume you'll be fit as your dc get older.

I am just explaining the origin of the thread, not agreeing or disagreeing with any of it, I think it's a very personal decision. So don't shoot the messenger.

"Death in old age is inevitable, but death before old age is not"

Isn't average life-expectancy higher than it's ever been?

also depends what job you do

police seem to die very soon after retirement :(

but obviously your lifestyle has a lot to do with it, if you smoke and drink and are fat, obviously thats got to have some effect

Well this has cheered me up no end this morning!

Hmm, but it is the norm, isn't it?

Average life expectancy in the UK is currently at 78 for men and 82 for women. This is the norm by its very definition.

Pedantry aside: I think there's something to be said for being aware of our eventual demise if it has any implications for how we decide to live. However, most of us happen to think that pondering our own death is slightly, erm, depressing and hence prefer not to be actively making any assumptions either way most of the time. I'm pretty sure it's perfectly possible to waste an entire life worrying about dying.

I am actually a pretty positive person...honest! But I get annoyed when people put off doing good things until they are older e.g. We will travel around south america when we are retired.

No do it now while you can. If you are well enough to do it when you are retired, you can do it again.

So many people put off doing fun things until the future when they can do it now.

I can see where Lesley is coming from. My parents spent their lives working hard, putting off things, and planning on what they would do after my dad retired.

He became ill at 59, and died by 64. After being the healthiest man you could meet for 59 years.

Nobody knows what the future holds, do they.

I think most people put things like that off because they have to. If I were to up sticks and travel the world now, I'd be homeless and unemployed when I came back.

If I hadn't died first.

I am assuming that, barring freak accidents, bad luck or wanton neglect, I will live to a reasonable age for genetic reasons. Family tree research showed my ancestors, if they survived infancy, generally made it past 90 even when life expectancy was pretty short for the working classes. One great-grandfather married a 37 year-old when he was 70-odd (way to go gramps!!) and tottered on to 90, presumably very happy :)

I don't think anyone I've ever met has just assumed they will live to an old age in good health. Anyone who has reached adulthood without being aware of the fact that people die before they get old, and/or get ill and frail, is a very rare person indeed!

I think Steve Jobs' death at 56 this morning has taught us all that good health and old age are not givens.

My dad was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease when I was 12 and he was 50. I have never assumed that I will have a long and healthy life.

You'd have got on famously with my dad. Fatalist, I think is the term.
He put 'please god' at the end of every sentence that involved a future date.
'See you Friday'. 'Please god'. etc etc
Boy does it skew-wiff your world view to have a dad do that.
Somehow I can't get it out of my head that something terrible is going to befall anyone who is out of my sight.
But nice to know Fatalism is alive and kicking....

I can't stand the non-drinking, healthy eating, non-smoking, exercising brigade that think they will be immune to ill-health. Load of rubbish. My longest living GP was a boozer for 40 years and my healthiest GP died the youngest. Just enjoy yourself. Live life to the full. There are no guarantees.

YABU and quite harsh on the woman wanting to have a baby at 45. (is 40 ok? 35? what are the chances of living those extra five or 10 years? probably not that significant.)

I don't think anyone should assume anything but there's nothing wrong with being hopeful to have a fit and healthy old age, while taking the steps to make that happen.

taking the steps to make that happen. What are they? I'd love to know the secrets?

But surely most of the "putting off" is because jobs and mortgages don't allow you to just take 6 months off and do it now? I'd love to really travel, but if I took time off work to do it, there would be no money to pay the mortgage. If I don't pay off the mortgage by the time I retire, then I won't be able to afford to continue living in my current home. We are already on a tight schedule to get the mortgage paid off in time.

Putting off smaller things, I agree is silly - but again I have to prioritise my time and money in a way that, I hope, will change once I'm retired.

Some putting off is because if life and its responsibilities, but not all. I worked with a colleague in her late 50's and her DH was in 60's They went on cruises all the time. She said she met loads of people who said they were going to go cruising a lot when they retired - and then their DH died and they never did do what they planned.

And I remember reading an interview with Martina Navratilova who said she was really angry that she had got breast cancer because she had always looked after herself - so she shouldn't have breast cancer.

Also life expectancy figures are based on the life expectancy dependent when you are born. Thus for a girl born in 2007 her life expectancy is 81.7 years. If a girl was born in 1993, her life expectancy is 79.1

But many people die much younger. Which is why if you are currently 65 years old, the average man can expect to live until 83 years old and the average woman to live until 85 years old.

TBH I think being angry is often one of the ways people react to a life-threatening illness - either anger because it's unfair, or anger at yourself for not somehow doing more to avoid it. It's a bit like bereavement - people go through stages of anger and guilt. Just exactly what they feel angry or guilty about will vary, but its a common reaction. It doesn't mean they actually thought it couldn't happen.

Fair point

Crumbs...what a cheerful thread. I dont actually assume I will live to old age (I think that I will die young but thats because I am morbid) but isnt it nice to look on the bright side????

Thanks for cheering up my afternoon

"I get annoyed when people put off doing good things until they are older e.g. We will travel around south america when we are retired.

No do it now while you can. If you are well enough to do it when you are retired, you can do it again.

So many people put off doing fun things until the future when they can do it now."

Er... I think the reason people plan to travel round South America when they are retired is precisely because they can't "do it now". They have children to look after, mortgages/rent to pay, pensions to build up, etc. If they jack in their jobs now and go travelling, they stand a good chance of being left with nothing to live on if they do live to a ripe old age.

**

Yabvvvvvu people don't want to worry weather they are going to die soon, god I'll never get out of bed. What the he'll is wrong with a positive outlook, yes definitely glass half empty op