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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel a little bit sad when people describe their babies as 'naughty' etc.

49 replies

JaneFonda · 05/10/2011 16:34

I probably am BU, but I hear a lot of mums saying how their (sometimes newborn) babies are being 'naughty' by crying a lot, waking in the night etc.

Maybe I'm just being oversensitive because I would love to have my little girls at home waking all hours of the night for me to look after them, not a doctor!

It just makes me feel a bit funny, and most of the times I've heard it it's not been meant in an endearing way, more of a way that the baby is inconveniencing them a lot. :(

OP posts:
TheProvincialLady · 05/10/2011 16:37

I don't get it either, but then I tend to assume that anyone who doesn't expect a baby to behave like a baby is a little bit thick.

StrandedBear · 05/10/2011 16:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SenoritaViva · 05/10/2011 16:40

I think the are using the wrong word. Hard work, demanding, clingy are all good ones (e.g. baby is a lot of hard work at the moment, crying a lot at 2 AM) etc. but yes naughty isn't a word I'd use.

You probably are being sensitive as all you want is your babies home, I can totally understand that. Really hope you have this opportunity very soon...

pommedechocolat · 05/10/2011 16:41

I use naughty a lot as an affectionate term with my toddler. Only problem is the other day I wanted to use it 'properly' and it didn't work. May have to stop!

I don't think it is ever meant in the way it would be with a 6/7 year old when it is said of babies. Just despairingly because lack of sleep and difficult feeds are hard!

Sirzy · 05/10/2011 16:43

Although I agree with you now. When they are playing up and your knackered though rational thinking about what is actually naughty is far from your mind!

Sirzy · 05/10/2011 16:44

And I hope you get the babies home soon. Any sign of that happening?

nickelbabe · 05/10/2011 16:44

I don't like it either.
Naughty is a willfulness of being annyoing, or badly behaved.
a baby can't even have a concept of it!

yanbu

happy2bhomely · 05/10/2011 16:46

I asked a mum at the school how her 1 yr old was. I said she was a little cutie and had got so big. She said "she's a little bitch. She doesn't stop moaning and won't leave me alone." I was gobsmacked.

Original poster
JaneFonda · 05/10/2011 16:49

Thank you Sirzy :)

Unfortunately not just yet, things were really looking up but both girls took a turn last week, (within a few hours of each other :(), so although they are no longer in immediate danger it just feels like a big step back. Hence why I may be being oversensitive to silly little things!

OP posts:
NinkyNonker · 05/10/2011 16:50

I agree, it is loaded terminology. Likewise when anyone asks how dd sleeps I always respond "like a baby"... in other words sometimes brilliantly and others not so!

pigletmania · 05/10/2011 17:18

I used to say that dd 4.5 was a difficult baby, she was. More than normal, later transpires she has sn (dev delay) and some autistic traits

AlpinePony · 05/10/2011 18:10

Yanbu. I have a friend who calls her daughter a 'brat'. :( she is nothing of the sort.

ImperialBlether · 05/10/2011 18:13

I think a better expression is 'a party girl' or a 'night owl'.

I'm really shocked, happy2behomely, at the woman you were talking to. That's an awful way to talk about any child, never mind her own.

NinkyNonker · 05/10/2011 18:14

If pressed I would just say dd wasn't a fan of sleep!

IneedAbetterNickname · 05/10/2011 18:16

YANBU I nearly started a relationship with a man until he called his 1 yr old DS a little shit, his argument was that DS doesn't understand it! I agree that babies can't be naughty, but think it's people using the wrong word. Hope you get your babies home soon

whatever17 · 05/10/2011 18:16

I really hate when people label their young children. Especially multiples - ie Sue is Athletic, Jane is Pretty and Ann is Adventurous.

Drives me nuts.

Also, I hate it when people say children are naughty rather than that their behaviour is naughty.

NO - to labelling.

ChitChattingWithKids · 05/10/2011 18:16

I just used to say my DSs were driving me around the bend through lack of sleep. It was true!!!! It wasn't their fault though.

Imnotaslimjim · 05/10/2011 18:18

Happytohomely, you don't know my sister do you? The amount of times we've had words over her calling her DD (who is a lovely girl, if a bit clingy) a little bitch amongst other things!

My auntie used to ask "is the baby being naughty for you" when I complained of tiredness. I'd reply "no, she's being a baby!"

AvonCallingBarksdale · 05/10/2011 18:22

YANBU - someone at school has a 4month old, who is, apparently very easy. I asked how things were going, and the mum replied, "Oh, she's so well behaved, she's never naughty." find that a Confused way to talk about a tiny baby!

pigletmania · 05/10/2011 18:30

whatever I totally disagree, of course a child can be naughty, must be do to the naughty behaviour Hmm. I think that a lot of parents whose children are being bullied might disagree with you.

pigletmania · 05/10/2011 18:30

I hate this all children are little Prince and Princesses nonesense.

spugglers · 05/10/2011 18:36

Like a previous poster said, sometimes it is said tounge in cheek. When dh phoned earlier and asked after the children I said ds2 had been naughty, he hasn't really been naughty he is just a baby what I really meant was that I have found him hard work today.

I think we are a generation of people who over-analyse everything people say or do. I would never say to a mother at the school gates that my baby had been naughty because I know that she would judge me for it whereas when our mothers were bringing us up they would have said it and nobody would have batted an eyelid.

VikingBlood · 05/10/2011 18:36

I've been calling DS (21m) a nutcase for a while now.

whatever17 · 05/10/2011 18:36

Piglet - really? "Naughty" is a bit all encompassing though. What if they are a good boy on Tuesday but naughty on Wednesday. Are they a good or bad boy - or just a boy who has been good on Tuesday but naughty on Wednesday?

VikingBlood · 05/10/2011 18:37

DD sorry, not DS, not that it makes any difference.