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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I didn't think I was but he told someone I was...

51 replies

Pancakeflipper · 04/10/2011 18:30

A friend of mine has a young baby boy. We don't meet up much but have done a few times since she has become a mum.

She came round for coffee and chat. I had been having a huge clear out of stuff. Cleared out our baby toys and I was intending to sell some on a local website once I had taken photos.

All great condition, I had cleaned it all up and really great stuff.

Whilst my friend was at mine I said she could have a look through the toys if she wanted. She had a brief look, said there was loads she would love and she filled a huge box full. She said "Could I give you some money for these?"

I felt abit mean but my 2 boys are saving for specific toy at the moment so I said "£12 so I can give the boys £6 each for that toy they are saving for?" They only need £12.00 more each so I thought it would half their saving effort.

She said fine and I told her that her husband who I work with could pay me when I was next at work.

Now the toys she took would probably cost over £150 brand new so I stopped feeling abit mean. And I once bought a load of toys when my first child was about 9 months from a friend who had sorted them out for an NCT sale but let me have first look. So I honestly didn't think selling on toys to mates was an issue.

Anyway forward on 6 weeks. I had actually forgotten about the £12.00. Then today I overheard the husband talking about his baby boy to another colleague and he mentioned "got a vast collection of baby toys from Pancakeflipper. Wife told me I was to give her £12.00 but she can f* off. Who sells toys to their mates? How tight is that? And it's not like she's on the bread line."

Colleague agreed I was a tight cow.

Now I feel I am mean.

I honestly didn't mean to be mean. Is it really a social no no and I am socially ignorant?

OP posts:

moondog · 04/10/2011 18:32

If the upfornt agreeement was that you piad, then what is the issue?
I have both bought and been given clothes and toys by friends and was happy with both arrangements.

Cheeky sod.

Insomnia11 · 04/10/2011 18:33

It's not mean at all. She offered to pay and you gave her a (very) reasonable price which she accepted. He is being the tightwad, and an arse.

Insomnia11 · 04/10/2011 18:33

I'd have waltzed round the corner and set them straight. :)

Mum1369 · 04/10/2011 18:34

Ooooh not mean at all! Who does he think he is? I'm not sure why people assume they can have your stuff for free, my in laws actually take our stuff all the time without even asking. DRIVES ME MAD.

squeakytoy · 04/10/2011 18:34

I would have said something to them too.

nooka · 04/10/2011 18:36

What a nasty attitude he has. You were very generous regardless of the £12 agreement, which was for your boys not you in any case (which given that they were presumably their toys seems fair enough). I hope that your friend would be embarrassed by her dh's attitude if she knew about it.

SwimLittleFish · 04/10/2011 18:39

Thats very bad of your friends dh seeing as you were actually going to sell them and could 've got more.

Yanbu

PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn · 04/10/2011 18:40

I would say loudly "Have you got the £12 your wife offered to pay my sons for their toys? It's been X weeks now and the boys were asking. Or shall I tell them to fuck off?" and smile very sweetly.

KittyFane · 04/10/2011 18:43

Vile man. Your poor friend ( for having him as her DH)
Thing is, you can't win - confront him and your friend will find out and will be mortified, tell her and she will be equally mortified.

Honeydragon · 04/10/2011 18:44

you made it clear it was for your children as they were there toys, you did not have to give them away.

I would tell her you don't want the money and what you overheard.....he is a nasty shit and is showing huge disrespect to an arrangement she made with you. I'd be livid at my dh if he behaved like that.

if he decides to sell his car say you'll have it and then refuse to pay him as he is a mate and can fuck off.

KittyFane · 04/10/2011 18:44

BTW- I meant to say, I think you have been treated v badly :(

BatsUpMeNightie · 04/10/2011 18:44

Go get your stuff back and fuck these people off to infinity and beyond. Go now.

Original poster

Pancakeflipper · 04/10/2011 18:44

Right, whilst the concensus on here say it is ok to sell toys onto friend I shall text my mate and tell her to send the money in with her delightful hubby tomorrow.

OP posts:

Honeydragon · 04/10/2011 18:45

ignore me do what Pom said.....much better.

ImperialBlether · 04/10/2011 18:45

What a rude man. I hope his family has had his last toys off you.

I think if you were going to sell them, you should have told her the going price, to be honest. I would perhaps have given her one, but not the rest.

Original poster

Pancakeflipper · 04/10/2011 18:46

ooh new threads have appeared.. I love the idea of buying his car... then not paying... it's his pride and joy..

OP posts:

BeardofZeus · 04/10/2011 18:46

Ooh i would take great delight in telling him in a sarky manner back, saying verbatim what i had heard... Pom is completely right. DO THAT. DO IT.

thatboysmum · 04/10/2011 18:48

How rude!!
I have kept some of DS's things i.e. toys/clothes for friends before and given them for nothing. I have also sorted through some things with the intention to sell them on, if my friend had said oh can I have a look, I would expect money for them as I had specifically wanted to sell them to make some extra money and tbh none of my friends would have an issue with that and nor would I if it were the other way round.
If you had agreed that amount from the outset I don't see what the problem is? She should not have taken them if she has no intention of paying you. I personally would be grateful for the bargain, not having a bitch about it to another colleague! It would really piss me off.

SquishyCinnamonSwirls · 04/10/2011 18:49

Completely agree with Pom!
Cheeky bastard.

CeliaFate · 04/10/2011 18:49

Yanbu! You could probably have got twice that if you'd sold them to strangers. Why should they profit and your boys miss out?
We had an old wood fireplace that we didn't want in our old home and planned to take it out and sell it. When I said I was getting rid my aunty piped up "I'll have it!" Before I could say anything it was arranged for her to have it, so we missed out on a few hundred quid. I felt I couldn't say anything at the time, but I so wish I had now.

OchAyeTheNooPal · 04/10/2011 18:51

Good. You're mate's husband sounds like he's the tight arse. You suggested a reasonable price and she agreed. Hope you get the money.

ImperialBlether · 04/10/2011 18:51

You have to tell his wife. You'd want to know if your husband was such a crass idiot.

I would say to her "I just wanted to say I hope you realise those toys cost £150 new and the children were saving up for something, that's why they were selling it."

And the thing that gets me is - he thinks you're a friend yet he talks like that about you? You need better friends.

I hope she is on here, btw.

TakeThisOneHereForAStart · 04/10/2011 18:52

What a pig.

BIL and SIL have given us toys for our DS but they have also sold us some things I didn't want but turned out to be really useful other things too.

Not sure what to suggest you do, but you were not being unreasonable to charge her for things you were intending to sell. Sounds like she got a bargain.

And I bet when the time comes for them to pass some toys on the cheeky sod sells them.

Anything of DS's that we have sold goes into his bank account or his piggy bank, and that's what you are doing too, so whether or not her DH thinks you need the money is neither here nor there. They weren't your toys and it's not your money.

thatboysmum · 04/10/2011 18:53

Have you heard anything from her since? No mention of the money other than his comment? I would now make a point of asking for it.

GetAwayFromHerYouBitch · 04/10/2011 18:54

He sounds like a wanker. He actually described it as a "vast collection" of toys then begrudged £12? I'd also mention it to the wife

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