Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I didn't think I was but he told someone I was...

51 replies

Pancakeflipper · 04/10/2011 18:30

A friend of mine has a young baby boy. We don't meet up much but have done a few times since she has become a mum.

She came round for coffee and chat. I had been having a huge clear out of stuff. Cleared out our baby toys and I was intending to sell some on a local website once I had taken photos.

All great condition, I had cleaned it all up and really great stuff.

Whilst my friend was at mine I said she could have a look through the toys if she wanted. She had a brief look, said there was loads she would love and she filled a huge box full. She said "Could I give you some money for these?"

I felt abit mean but my 2 boys are saving for specific toy at the moment so I said "£12 so I can give the boys £6 each for that toy they are saving for?" They only need £12.00 more each so I thought it would half their saving effort.

She said fine and I told her that her husband who I work with could pay me when I was next at work.

Now the toys she took would probably cost over £150 brand new so I stopped feeling abit mean. And I once bought a load of toys when my first child was about 9 months from a friend who had sorted them out for an NCT sale but let me have first look. So I honestly didn't think selling on toys to mates was an issue.

Anyway forward on 6 weeks. I had actually forgotten about the £12.00. Then today I overheard the husband talking about his baby boy to another colleague and he mentioned "got a vast collection of baby toys from Pancakeflipper. Wife told me I was to give her £12.00 but she can f* off. Who sells toys to their mates? How tight is that? And it's not like she's on the bread line."

Colleague agreed I was a tight cow.

Now I feel I am mean.

I honestly didn't mean to be mean. Is it really a social no no and I am socially ignorant?

OP posts:
GetAwayFromHerYouBitch · 04/10/2011 18:55

not in an angry way, but so she can set him straight

AttillaTheMum · 04/10/2011 19:01

I would most certainly be telling his wife what was said maybe a message along the lines of
"I would hate to rock the boat but my DS has been asking for the money for the toys that he us due to put in his savings account. However I have found it awkward to ask as I heard your dh telling xxx that I was tight"

scarlettsmummy2 · 04/10/2011 19:08

how good a friend is she?? if she was a really good friend I wouldn't have charged to be honest- especially if we are only talking £12. Of course she should have paid you, but i don't think i would lose a good friend over it.

warthog · 04/10/2011 19:12

in an alternative reality i'd storm round, pick up all the toys and take them back.

in this reality i think i would explain to the mum that your boys are saving up for something specific and that is why you are charging her.

yanbu

i'd be mortified if my dh said that. what a twonk.

Original poster
Pancakeflipper · 04/10/2011 19:22

Scarlettsmummy - she is not best buddy type. Someone I have known for years and I like her. But we meet up infrequently. I don't want to fall out with her at all over £12.00.

OP posts:
buggerlugs82 · 04/10/2011 19:24

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns.

LaWeasel · 04/10/2011 19:27

He is clearly a twat - I feel pretty bad for your friend though, given that she'd told him to give you the money she probably thinks he paid ages ago and eveyrthing is fine.

Instead it turns out he's a nobber.

t0lk13n · 04/10/2011 19:55

Ask him for the toys back

MogTheForgetfulCat · 04/10/2011 19:59

What a revolting little man. No way were you being mean, he is being an arse and I think you should get the £12 for your boys!

ballstoit · 04/10/2011 20:07

YANBU. Recently a friend was selling some books through Facebook. I saw her ad and text her to say I'd like them please, would pay her and collect them next time I saw her (see her every couple of weeks on average). She text back that I could have them for nothing. When I saw her next I insisted on paying her...she would have got the money if someone else had bought them, and I was still getting a bargain.

If she agreed to pay, I'd text and say could she remind her DH as your boys are looking forward to getting their ....(insert whatever they are saving for), and you want them to learn they can't have things before they pay for them!

skybluepearl · 04/10/2011 20:14

I wouldn't pass anything their way again.

I have been given quite a few things in the past but also pass things on and sell things in NCT sales. I have also given many a close friend a few pounds here or there for specific items. Means its a win win situation for all involved and I prefer it that way.

I would text wife and say 'do you know that i over heard hubby today being quite nasty? Had actually planned to sell the box of toys but was really happy to pass them your way for only 12 pounds which would go towards a new toy for the boys'. She will quiz her hubby and I'm sure be embarraced.

flippinada · 04/10/2011 20:26

You're not mean.

He's being a tight fisted wanker and rude to boot. I bet if you confront him about it (in front of a few colleagues, naturally...and politely of course..."excuse me, I heard you talking to 'x' about the toys earlier? You know you said I was tight? Well we really do need that money, it's for my kids ) he'll be embarrassed as hell.

TidyDancer · 04/10/2011 20:30

Oh he sounds really vile.

Please ask for the money and tell us what happens!

ilovesooty · 04/10/2011 21:56

She probably thinks he's paid as arranged. I'd tell her what he said.

rookiemater · 04/10/2011 22:01

He sounds awful. I would tell her what you heard, but talking not text. TBH I wouldn't have asked for £12 for the stuff, but I can see why you did.

You could say what you said here, put yourself in the wrong if you like, say that you just thought it would be nice for your DCs to get something towards a new toy as they were giving away so many of their old ones.

Then never ever give her another thing in your life.

TheTenantOfWildfellHall · 04/10/2011 22:29

Tell his wife. I'd be mortified if my DH did this, yes, but I'd want to know and it certainly wouldn't be you I'd be falling out with Grin.

I bet the colleague secretly thought he was being tight.

Icelollycraving · 04/10/2011 22:30

I would text her & say that you are sorry if she was offended by you asking for £12 for your boys & that you weren't trying to be mean. She will probably text back & say has he not paid,what are you talking about? Then reply,that the rumour around the office is that you were being really mean & tight. Then say as we've known each other so long I would hate there to be bad feeling.
Nicely passive aggressive.
Alternatively just say hey wankerface,where's my cash? :o

reelingintheyears · 04/10/2011 22:34

Tell your 'mate' that you weren't selling the toys but that your DC were.

They were saving for something and they'd asked when they could go and buy it.

Rude fuckers.

NonnoMum · 04/10/2011 22:38

REgardless of the "tightness" (or not) of the situation, the way he referred to you is completely insulting.

HedleyLamarr · 04/10/2011 22:41

YANBU in the slightest. £150 worth of stuff for £12? That is more than generous on your behalf. Your friends OH is being a stingy ungrateful cunt. Have a pop at him in front of others, reminding him of the deal, and that for him to go back on it makes him look like a penny pincher. What an utter clopper.

DandyLioness · 04/10/2011 22:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DandyLioness · 04/10/2011 22:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bohica · 04/10/2011 22:46

Print this thread and leave it on his desk after tipexing your user name

Mr free-loader you are a tight arsed twat.

PootlePosyPerkin · 04/10/2011 23:06

TBH I wouldn't have asked a friend to pay for the toys - a stranger yes, a friend no. It sounds as though the "can I give you something for these?" comment was more politeness than anything, especially as how she didn't actually have any money on her. She may not have expected you to say "yes, £12". BUT, once she had agreed to pay the money then the money should have been paid. It's too late once the toys have been taken to decide that you won't cough up. I agree with other posters - your friend probably thinks that her DH paid you ages ago & all is well.

MCos · 05/10/2011 00:01

"I would text her & say that you are sorry if she was offended by you asking for £12 for your boys & that you weren't trying to be mean."

Yeah - the above..