to make dd remove her ear stud?

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My 8 yr old dd pierced her own ear (at the top, through the cartilage) this pm. Actually, it looked good, but I made her take it out. What would you have done?

She has the lobes pierced. Never asked for more piercings.

The only thing I can think of mosp is that you've posted about having a hard time and maybe Worral would have held back a bit posting had she known and doesn't want to say anything else to make you feel bad?

This might be completely the wrong thing to say but from my own experience focusing on physical safety may be asking the wrong questions.

I pierced my own ears several times during my early teens; it coincided with a period when my family life was disrupted, I was very unhappy, and I felt unable to put my feelings into words. I sort of enjoyed the pain involved in self-piercing as it was a way of deflecting how I was feeling into something physical.

I'm not making any pronouncements about how your dd is. You know her better than me, OP. But it might be worth considering checking how she's feeling in herself? If there's any similarity between her self-piercing and mine there may be emotional things going on for her that she needs support with.

Oh - sorry - I skipped a page and hadn't realised your dd is getting support from CAHMS already. Agree with the others who've said do mention it to them as it may well be relevant.

echoing other posters here:

I have a fairly high pain threshold, and getting that part of my ear pierced was fecking sore, and that was with a needle, by a professional.

To push a blunt earring through would have taken a lot of pushing and twisting and fairly severe pain over a reasonable period of time. Give it a quick try and see what I mean (don't actually do it IYSWIM).

I don't think that is at all normal for an eight year old - ice cube and needle with friends maybe.

Speak to someone.

I did once have my upper ear pierced. There is still a lump there. It was agony! Interestingly, my motive for having it done was to distraact me friom severe emotional pain at the time.

However, dd is not in pain at all. I think I would know if it hurt her.

I will mention it to cahms, and see what they say.

Thanks for your responses.

worral - sorry if I misunderstood your motive for stepping away.

Does she feel any physical pain at all as opposed to having a high pain threshold? One of my friends used to have no physiological response to pain so she would repeat activities that others would have avoided. She said it was more like the pain was so far in the distance that she never really felt it but knew it was there.

Not suggesting this is the case for your dd but it's very unusual for an 8 yr old to be able to pierce through a painful part of her body with something blunt and for you to be in the next room and her not make any noise I'm pain!

Mention it to CAMHS and hope shes ok. You do need to make clear that she cannot do something like that again though.

Slightly amusing moment this evening. Was in cafe with dd. One of the waiters had stretchers. dd nudged me and whispered, "Who would do that kind of thing?"

helibee - she def feels pain. Combing her hair always causes loud screams and protests, however gentle I try to be.