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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to find weekends really hard with my family?

64 replies

weekendblue · 02/10/2011 22:21

Please be gentle. I really need some advice.

I have three children and dh, we don't have many friends in the area because we have just moved here so we tend to spend weekends as a family. (to be really honest, we spent most of the time before move alone as well).

I get really depressed at the weekends, I find them overwhelming. I'm a SAHM and its a lot of the same old even though we do try and get out as a family too.

I cry, shout, loose my temper even though my DC are pretty good. Sad I fee like such a bad mother and even said to my dh that they would all be better off with out me. I felt so distraught this weekend that I told them they all make me miserable.Sad Please help me, I feel like such a bad person and want things to be different. Sad

So obviously IABU and a cow, please advice.

OP posts:
Original poster
weekendblue · 03/10/2011 10:48

home It has crossed my mind to try and organise something with school mums but as we are new I don't want to come across as trying to muscle in I guess?

OP posts:
legallyblond · 03/10/2011 10:49

Can I just say that I LOVE mumsnet for this... a wobble on your own can seem so HUGE, but then you can come on here and its put into perspective (usually becasue everyone says "oh yes, I feel like that too... it passes!") and suddenly its just that, a wobble.

Happy to help! Grin

Original poster
weekendblue · 03/10/2011 10:50

Grin Legally, its brilliant, really really great and far better than anti d's or councelling.Wink

OP posts:
suburbandream · 03/10/2011 10:56

I'm a SAHM too, and yes, weekends can be a bit overwhelming! I decided to just treat them as part of my job, and to have my "weekend" during the week - so for example Monday is spent clearing up the debris from the weekend, Tuesday and Wednesday for other jobs , cleaning, shopping etc and then I try to do something nice for ME on Thursdays and Fridays!! It might just be going into town, going to a gallery, watching a film I've recorded and not got round to yet, or just reading a book in peace and quiet Smile.

Others have suggested getting a job - or if that seems too much how about doing some volunteering? There are always lots of charities locally that need people during the week for a few hours at a time, but its less of a commitment than a "proper" job.

Just seen your other thread, and it sounds like you could do with making definite plans to do something each weekend, even if it's only going for a walk/bike ride with the DCs.

Original poster
weekendblue · 03/10/2011 11:01

surburban I actually like that idea of seeimg as a job and having your weekend in the week, not sure if doable as 2 year old not in nursery much but something to think about. I defintley think the loss of my weekend still gets me down even after 10 years.Sad

OP posts:
fedupofnamechanging · 03/10/2011 11:40

The other thing to remember is that your kids will get bigger and develop their own interests and you will get back some weekend time to yourself, at some point.

Original poster
weekendblue · 03/10/2011 11:43

karma It actually makes me quite sad to think of them getting older and being off doing their own thing.

OP posts:
Ephiny · 03/10/2011 11:53

If your DH is struggling to understand why it's difficult for you, ask him to imagine being at work 24/7 and never, ever being off-duty or having a day off or even a break! When you think of it like that, it's no wonder it gets overwhelming sometimes.

I agree you shouldn't feel you have to get a weekend job (unless you really want to, or it's necessary financially). If you're a SAHM with three young children then I'm sure you work very hard during the week, and you should be able to relax a bit at the weekends.

Original poster
weekendblue · 03/10/2011 12:28

Ephiny Luckily he is very understanding, infact too much, I don't deserve it.

No i don't think working is for me but have got plans now from all the wonderful advice on here.

OP posts:
BridgetBust · 03/10/2011 12:28

OP - if you want the flowers emoticon, you need to type thanks inside square brackets, not flowers.

Thanks

And YANBU.

Original poster
weekendblue · 03/10/2011 12:42

Thanks bridget Thanks.

OP posts:
suburbandream · 04/10/2011 14:16

Weekendblue - sorry, I missed the bit about your 2 year old. Is there a local sports centre that has a creche? Ours has a gym, pool, classes etc, or you can just sit in the cafe for an hour or so with a book while your little one has fun in the creche Smile. When my two were preschoolers, the creche was a godsend - I have no family nearby so it was literally my only time to myself during the week

BettyCash · 04/10/2011 14:18

OP don't be afraid to muslce in - it makes you look friendly and enthusiastic!

Original poster
weekendblue · 04/10/2011 16:56

Eh?? Bettycash

OP posts:
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