Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be cross with my sister?

75 replies

mogs0 · 01/10/2011 17:19

We've been to town today to have photos taken of ds, my two sisters and me.

I had one shop that I wanted to go to, to buy a couple of things but didn't want ds to see so had arranged for him to go and browse the shelves in Game with one of my sisters. I had a lengthy conversation with my sister about him just going to look and not purchasing anything as he's just had a birthday, I'm already dreading christmas due to the sheer volume of stuff that'll be bought for him and also because we were in town to have photos taken not for shopping.

We got halfway home and my sister said she'd bought him a play station game but that it didn't count because it was really cheap Hmm.

I'm really cross because she totally disregarded what I'd said but worse is that ds told her he wasn't supposed to buy anything and she's told him it doesn't matter and that she'll take the blame.

We've got home and realised the game is a 12 so too old for him anyway. I feel crap now because he's upset he can't play it.

AIBU?

OP posts:
RockStockAndTwoOpenBottles · 01/10/2011 18:42

YABU

Original poster
mogs0 · 01/10/2011 18:43

Sorry, I didn't realise that if people don't agree with me that I have to accept that I ABU.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 01/10/2011 18:45

well the vast majority think you are being unreasonable Grin and your sister does too probably... and your son...

Maryz · 01/10/2011 18:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Maryz · 01/10/2011 18:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BatsUpMeNightie · 01/10/2011 18:48

Trust me OP. You absolutely have spoiled a nice day and an unexpected treat from an Aunt. Those are abiding memories - I still remember the little presents bought for me - stuff I would never have been allowed to have. He's 9 and you won't let him play a 12 game? Boy are you storing up a perfect shitstorm for the future. Get a bit over yourself why don't you.

RockStockAndTwoOpenBottles · 01/10/2011 18:55

Erm....if you post in AIBU, then when you are answered with YABU, don't get the hump. You asked, we've answered.

And what BatsUp says.

Original poster
mogs0 · 01/10/2011 18:55

Ok, so I accept that the majority think I'm BU. Can anyone suggest how I could have done it differently? Not let ds go to game? Told my sister to buy him whatever she liked? I'm not being sarky, I'm genuinely interested.

I'm a bit prone to control freakery, it's a family trait.

Also, I'm a bit sad to realise that I come across as being a grump. I love Christmas and the time we spend together as a family. I also love seeing ds get lots of lovely gifts but it's really hard when he gets so much that it doesn't fit in the house.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 01/10/2011 18:57

You could have just gritted your teeth, smiled and said thankyou to your sister, then got home and let your child enjoy the new game he had got to play. No drama, no seething...

As Bats says, memories are made of this sort of thing. He will always treasure having an auntie who spoils him a bit...

BatsUpMeNightie · 01/10/2011 18:57

You could have just gone with it. No rules up front. He got a game - couldn't you just have been a bit happy for him? That would have meant the world to both your DS and your sister - both of whom now probably think you're mean, miserable and about as much fun as a large blister in a hard shoe.

MatLeaveForever · 01/10/2011 18:58

Maybe you could be with him when he plays the game to monitor what he's doing without completely restricting him?

I get the feeling there's some other resentment somewhere with your sister which is why you're angry, not just about the computer game!

BeerTricksPotter · 01/10/2011 19:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RockStockAndTwoOpenBottles · 01/10/2011 19:00

Let his Aunt spoil him once in a while? A second hand PS game costs bugger all anyway, he's happy, she's glowy from treating him, you ought to be happy because it'll keep him quiet and chill.

12 is a GUIDELINE, not a promise of violent inappropriate games and he probably sees worse on Dr Who.

2 out of 4 of my siblings don't have children and those two love to spoil their nieces and nephews, from my sister taking my oldest out on the piss, to buying pink tat and crap for my youngest that I hate. I am building a list of revenge for when she has her children Grin - you save it all up and get your own back one day...

bluelaguna · 01/10/2011 19:01

You had 2 options:

  1. Not allow the trip to Game. Instead of saying this outright, you could have diverted the situation and asked your sister to take him to a cafe for a drink and a cake/other.

  2. Allow the trip to Game, knowing that there was a good chance your sister would buy him something. When said item was bought, try not to show your disappointment.

Original poster
mogs0 · 01/10/2011 19:11

Ok, I shall remember these suggestions for next time as this sort of thing happens often and for the most part I do let it go. I think was particularly bothered by today because she had specifically asked beforehand then chose to ignore me.

OP posts:
bluelaguna · 01/10/2011 19:12

You have been very gracious OP.

BeerTricksPotter · 01/10/2011 19:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Iggi999 · 01/10/2011 19:20

Agree with bluelaguna.
Good grief, I can't let my dh go into game without knowing he'll come out with something, never mind my ds!
it's like asking me to lift my phone and not mumsnet

Original poster
mogs0 · 01/10/2011 19:20

I have thought of a couple of questions... Do you not take dc to video game shops if there is no chance of them being able to buy something?

How do I reduce the amount of stuff in his bedroom (I know that the game is tiny but the rest of the other stuff is huge!) when he doesn't like to get rid of anything?

OP posts:
Iggi999 · 01/10/2011 19:23

A pre-christmas clear out? He might get caught up in the idea of helping others, and of course making room for all the new stuff!

BobbaFettBountyHunter · 01/10/2011 19:23

Bloody hell let him play the game and don't be so mean. Second hand are cheap as chips, what was the game? I do this all the time 'no you're not having a game' then finding a mega cheap one I know they'll like and getting it.

BeerTricksPotter · 01/10/2011 19:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

biscuitmad · 01/10/2011 19:27

Tell her you dont have any more room in your home for more toys/games etc. Let her know you dont mind iff she wants to treat him but can she do something else like, take him to the pictures, park, day out to the beach.

BeerTricksPotter · 01/10/2011 19:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BatsUpMeNightie · 01/10/2011 19:30

Get him to identify stuff he no longer uses - you Ebay it for him and promise him a cut of the proceeds. Money talks - especially to boys of that age!