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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have parked in a disabled spot today

227 replies

AuntiePickleBottom · 30/09/2011 21:42

my mum recently broke her leg, she has a full cast on, I took her food shopping today so parked in a disabled bay as there is no way my mum could of used crutches far or get out of a normal spot, my mum used one of the wheel chairs supermarkets offer for the customers.

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 01/10/2011 19:10

My take on a disabled loo is it is there for someone who cannot manage in a normal loo but not exclusively, I have never ever seen anyone queue for one in my life.

aliceliddell · 01/10/2011 19:21

RedHelen If only. And the baby changer tables are usually too high to use from a wheelchair. On the topic of bogs - do other wheelchair users/similarly disabled find 'accessible' toilets fucking impossible? Not enough room, bars in wrong place, loo toohigh, etc? I find them v. diff.

alittlebitresignedtoitall · 01/10/2011 19:25

The amount of people that I see parking in disabled spaces that have no badge and nobody with a broken leg. I think it was fine for you to park there and I wouldn't have had a problem with it, regardless of the rules!!

Kladdkaka · 01/10/2011 19:39

Shall I tell you about my day? I went on the dreaded shopping trip. I have no clothes. That's an aspie 'no clothes' not an NT 'no clothes', because shopping is put off until I reach crisis point. Crisis point has been reached.

Parked ok. New escalatory ramp thingies going up into the shopping centre since I last went there. Cool. Not feeling particularly brilliant but needs must. I need to get plus size trousers to accommodate 1 leg which is so swollen it's twice the size of the other. There are dozens of shops in the mall but only 2 do about size 14.

I go to the first one and find the widest pair I can find. Pick up a couple of different sizes so I can find the best leg fit in the smallest size I can get away with. Head for the changing rooms. There's a long corridor of 32 regular changing rooms and one large one adapted for disabled use with 2 chairs outside. Most of the regular ones are free, the large one isn't.

It's being used by 3 young teenage girls while mum and dad wait outside. Mum is on one of the chairs, Dad is standing, shopping bags are on the other. I look into the other cubicles, there is no way I can fit in there with my frame, so I have to wait for the disabled one. The girls are in and out of the changing room as they go and pick more clothes for each other. Mother guards the door while they are not in it. I start to get tired and ask her nicely to remove the bags so I can sit down. She glares at me, removes the bags and Dad sits down. So I wait and I wait and I wait, perched on the edge of my frame to try and take some of the pressure off my leg which is killing me. After nearly 45 minutes of waiting like this, I give up, leave the clothes I'd picked up and head for the second shop.

Here I find something which may be suitable and again head for the changing rooms. Similar situation. A dozen or so regular rooms, 1 adapted for disabled use. It's in use. 2 young women trying on party dresses and thoroughly enjoying themselves by the sound of it. Like the others, in and out to get different sizes and different items. I wait 10 minutes and then feel like I have no choice but to use a regular room. I leave my frame outside. It's incredibly difficult. I cannot balance well and there is nothing to hold onto. But I persevere. I end up collapsed on the floor, exhausted, with a pair of trousers that don't fit stuck and twisted round one leg, alone, frightened and in full autistic meltdown.

Enter husband stage right, straight into the women's changing rooms to much tutting. Eventually he calms me down enough to get me up off the floor and take me home.

And just to really take the piss. I got the new flat escalator slopey thing first only to find that you cannot hold onto a wheelie frame with both hands and remain steady. One hand on the frame one on the bannister bit. Wheelie frame doesn't like this and makes a break for freedom, despite the brakes being on, and I end up on my hands and knees before husband has chance to respond.

So I didn't get the much needed trousers. I have got 2 sore hands, a massive headache, backache, a leg so sore and swollen it feels like it's going to pop, 2 grazed knees and a whole in the knee of one of my only remaining pieces of clothing.

I love shopping. Till next time ...........

aliceliddell · 01/10/2011 19:49

Oh fuckity fuck fuck. The selfish/ uneducated gits. Why don't shops police this better? So sorry you had a shitty day. Is internet shopping any better? Buy yourself a massive cake instead Smile

Kladdkaka · 01/10/2011 19:51

On the topic of bogs - do other wheelchair users/similarly disabled find 'accessible' toilets fucking impossible? Not enough room, bars in wrong place, loo toohigh, etc? I find them v. diff.

All the ones I've had the pleasure of using have lots of space around them on boths sides and a toilet roll attached to the wall half a mile away. The height thing is for people with problem joints who can't get up off a lower one. I'm a shortie and feel about 5 trying to get on them. My feet don't touch the floor.

Kladdkaka · 01/10/2011 19:57

alice I'm having bacon butties for therapy tea.

Internet shopping is no good here. Most places don't do it, and if they do, the posties don't deliver parcels. You have to go to the supermarket to collect them and then pay for the items there and then. So if you need to try different sizes, you have to buy them all and I haven't worked out how to send stuff back yet.

I don't half miss Littlewoods right now.

borderslass · 01/10/2011 20:06

Kladdkaka sorry you've had a shit day Wine

aliceliddell · 01/10/2011 20:10

Bugger and arse to it. Enjoy those sarnies.
Interesting re loos. The t roll/ mirror/ soap dispenser/ door lock position is a key variable. The height for bad joints is understandable but I find it v diff if I cn't get my feet on the floor. No condoms/tampons/mirrors is imo coz we're all desexualised.

mousymouse · 01/10/2011 20:15

oh dear kladdkaka, that sound awful :(
the shopkeepers soubd absolutely not up to their job.
hope you get you much needed trousers soon wihout too much stress.

unpa1dcar3r · 01/10/2011 23:02

Bloody hell Kladd, what freaking dickheads. How did you not give them a blasting? blimey i'd have gone mental at them, especially after you asked the stupid cow to move the bags (FFS as if you should've had to ask) and then he sat down! OMG.
Astoundingly ignorant.

As for disabled toilets/changing tables etc...anyone ever tried changing a 6' boy in one????
Luckily mine are out of nappies now but youngest still soils, he's only 5'6" at the moment and it's hard enough at his size. I know of parents who have fully grown incontinent children who are in nappies...nowhere, not one single disabled toilet caters for them. you have to lay them down on the floor.How bloody degrading for all concerned.

Kladdkaka · 01/10/2011 23:43

I'm a total and utter wimp. Scared of my own shadow. It took every ounce of courage I had plus a large dose of pain to pluck up the courage to ask for the bags to be removed.

When I next try (no time soon) I'll take my daughter. She's the opposite. A no concept of fear aspie type with no concept of keeping your gob shut and an answer for everything. She also doesn't care what other people think or who's listening. She just has her own internal absolute, black and white sense of right and wrong. I'll let her off her leash. :o

Sevenfold · 01/10/2011 23:48

Kladdkaka so sorry you had such an awful time

AuntieMaggie · 02/10/2011 01:31

Pixel I wouldn't have had the money for a taxi as I had to take unpaid leave for my op and part of my shopping was a host of prescriptions which is why I chose to go to asda to get it all done in one go. I suffered with pain for over 10 months after my op but still had to do these things myself (no I didn't park in a disabled space all that time, only once or twice when there were no other spaces nearby.) which according to some nice people I know meant I wasn't really that ill Hmm (sorry bit of a sore point!)

RedHelenB · 02/10/2011 08:54

Most shops I go in have assistants in the changing room & I suspect if you were to ask for their assistance they would give it. Some people are very selfish though!!!

Maybe the way forward would be online shopping as there is a greater variety of clothes & you can have your husband assist where needed, Or go to ultra trendy shops where men/women share the same cubicles.

I very rarely try clothes on in shops as i am always in a rush & I prefer to see if I have things ast home that go with them., Then I just take back what I don't need.

Rollersara · 02/10/2011 10:19

@aliceliddell, generally I find accessible toilets ok in shops, but pubs often seem to use themas additional storage.

Went to a pub that had a DJ night once. Toilet used a Radar key, so I used my personal one. Toilet was full of expensive sound equipment, reckon they hadn't realised that it's not just the key behind the bar that unlocks those doors. Was torn between asking the bar staff to move it,or nicking the lot and putting it on eBay...

Migsy1 · 02/10/2011 10:29

Of course YANBU she has a broken leg with a full cast. My Dad has a blue badge because of his heart condition but he can walk much better than someone with a full cast on a broken leg. Come on. Let common sense prevail here. Supermarket car parking spaces are on private land anyway so although they may indicate that you need a blue badge to park in the spaces, this is not actually a legal requirement. I'm sure the manager would be happy for you to park in a disabled space under those circumstances.

Animation · 02/10/2011 10:32

You had good reason - so don't worry about it.

Sevenfold · 02/10/2011 10:42

but why can't people with a temporary disability and no blue badge park in a P&T bay, that way cause no distress to anyone?

itisnearlysummer · 02/10/2011 10:44

Wow Kladdkaka what a shit day! Did the changing rooms not have any staff supervising? I can't believe people would behave like that!

youarekidding · 02/10/2011 10:45

YANBU. Your poor mum is temporarily disabled and used the supermarkets disabled space and their wheelchair facility which required you to need the extra space.

I'm pretty sure though you've started this thread to rile people up. Confused

Riveninabingle · 02/10/2011 10:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

youarekidding · 02/10/2011 11:02

because sevenfold somebodies PFB, or little darling may get wet, have to walk the length of the car park etc. Wink

Perhaps there needs to be some tempory badge system? To get a blue badge GP's/ DR's have to write and confirm infact the holder requires it. Maybe they need to produce weekly/monthly passes for patients who have physical injuries that will 'disable' them. If they have an expiry they can't be abused. They could be issued when people are discharged from hospital?

AKMD · 02/10/2011 11:11

Temporary badges would be lovely for people with long-term disabilities applying for a permanent badge too.

I have a friend who in the past year has had a double lung and heart transplant and has a permanent stent administering life-supporting drugs eve 45 seconds. To look at her, she is a perfectly healthy 20-something but she really cannot walk far. She is unable to drive but her fiancé has a blue badge for when he drives her places. The grief that she gets from other disabled parking users is incredible, just because she doesn't 'look disabled'. No one would bat an eyelid at someone in a full leg cast using a disabled parking bay, believe me.

Kladdkaka · 02/10/2011 11:26

RedHelenB and it'snearlysummer I'm in Sweden, although the people are mostly lovely and exceptionally polite and law abiding, the concept of customer service appears to have passed them by. (Think Ikea and having to clear your own tables in the restaurant) There are no staff in the changing rooms, you are expected to rehang and put back anything you try on; you rarely see any staff on the shop floor other than the 1 on the till (sometimes with queues that the USSR would have been proud of); and returns/exchanges are only allowed if goods are faulty. Home deliveries and internet shopping happens but not often and usually at higher cost.

We had to buy a load of gravel for the drive in spring. We hunted around to try and find something like Jewson, Wickes or B&Q where you can buy it in those big sacks that come on lorries. Couldn't find one. Found out from neighbour that that's not how you do it round here. Husband had to take the trailer to the supplier. Trailer was weighed. Husband then had to shovel half a tonne of loose gravel into it and it was weighed again to work out how much he had to pay. Then he had to shovel it all out again when he got home. :o

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