To have parked in a disabled spot today

[AuntiePickleBottom]

my mum recently broke her leg, she has a full cast on, I took her food shopping today so parked in a disabled bay as there is no way my mum could of used crutches far or get out of a normal spot, my mum used one of the wheel chairs supermarkets offer for the customers.

[GooseyLoosey]

Dad has a blue badge (severe stroke with very limited mobility). I know how difficult it is to help someone in to a wheel chair and how much space you need, so I can see no objection to someone in a full leg cast using a space when there is an obvious need.

Dad often loses his badge (impaired memory too) which has to be left at his house as both his carer and I use it. His weight is about 16 stone so getting him out of a car requires some time and manouvering. When I can't find the badge, I have no choice but to park in disabled slots anyway. I won't leave him on his own whilst I park elsewhere as he has been mugged twice.

In these circumstances, I always tell the shop and there has only once ever been a problem. Fortunately for me, I was having such a bad day I just snapped and burst into tears and the lovely parking attendant came and ripped up the fine!

[DoNotPressTheRedButton]

Been there and done that (slightly less but lived in Somerset until I was 31), quite like where we are- nice village but close to a town and 2 cities. Not doing the rural remote thing again; had enough of that!

[unpa1dcar3r]

Yes it is Do not- I'm sat now overlooking endless fields...But it is the back of beyond (nearest Ikea 95 miles away for example haha)

[DoNotPressTheRedButton]

As SE as you can get LOL, though envy you- we mighth get the weather but we were in your area last year and it''s lovely.

[unpa1dcar3r]

I am as North as you can get Peachy. How about you?

No you're right Alice it's not great but saying that i find it better than Norfolk in that most places here where you can take your kids allow carers to go free but on holiday in Norfolk you just got a tiny discount on most places (although I love Norfolk and used to live there before my boys came along)
It would have been a nightmare at BW if I'd taken them but I wouldn't. TBH I loathed the place myself; overcrowded, overpriced and chaotic...although went to the cinema a few times with the girls. They loved the place! (I prefer little one off shops which sell one off things, preferably fair trade or hand crafted)

[aliceliddell]

unpaid Yes, that Bluewater. Sorry, didn't realise it would be such a nightmare for the ds's. Didn't find Wales too good on disability when we visited, tbh

[PeachyWhoCannotType]

So Unpa1d, you north or south of this fine country?

[unpa1dcar3r]

Alice
is this Bluewater in Gravesend you're referring to? If it is I know it well, although not the disabled loos etc as I never ever would've dreamt of taking my boys there- can u imagine; the noise, confusion, chaos, people, lighting with two SLD boys who hate all that. But I did used to drop my NT girls there as it seemed to be the social meeting point every bloody saturday for them n their mates! dropped em outside M&S and left rapidly doing wheelies round the carpark in my haste to escape!

Still nice to hear they're up to date with disability issues. Where I live now is like being in the dark ages (but then again it is in deepest darkest Wales and some of us here don't even have mains sewerage so i won't hold my breath for proper disabled loos!)

[PeachyWhoCannotType]

Bugger off Alice, I've enough washing up as it is

[CroissantNeuf]

As someone recently out of plaster I can only reiterate what others have said about the fact that its a major PITA getting in and out of a car in a 'normal' supermarket car park space especially if you need to transfer to a wheelchair.

Breaks can also be incredibly painful even when in plaster especially in the early days when you are also trying to master your balance on crutches.

Fortunately I'm pretty adept on crutches and younger than the OPs mother so it wasn't too much of an issue for me but I would certainly agree that temp BBs should be made available (to those who want/need them) in the case of a temporary disability as it is still a disability after all.

[aliceliddell]

peachy It would be great if the people who make the rules could stay at your house for a couple of weeks.

[PeachyWhoCannotType]

Wouldn't need one with ds1 now, but once upon a time when he would try and push the others under cars if I so much as looked away to open a car door yes please!

DS3 is in his own world and we call trips with him on those days 'towing him out for trips' as that is what it is; that, ds1 with his horrible moods and ds4 who bolts or goes in a buggy is too much. It just is. And it's probably nor surprise that after long years of this I have a thread in MH about agoraphobia.

But yes, paed assessment; there was research recently assessing behavioural difficulties in kids on the spectrum and when they removed the Autism / HFA / AS label they found that behavioural challenges did not vary by DX. Plemnty of other core stuff does- comprehension etc- but not behaviour.

[aliceliddell]

But generally I find 'accessible' loos really badly designed and hard to use. Using them as storage doesn't help.

[aliceliddell]

unpaidcarer there are fantastic facilities at Bluewater - adult changing table, winch, loo with rinse & blowdry, adjustable height sink - fab. Also the manager is genuinely interested in feedback. I was impressed and I'm a miserable git. Which I bet you hadn't noticed before.

[PeachyWhoCannotType]

Oh the 1 in 100 figure- that's the most quoted stat as it is middling but NAS were estimating more like 1 in sixty something recently. Thing is no central body collects data so they don't know.

[PeachyWhoCannotType]

No Unpa1d I know, it's a physical disability only system.

It is something you notice as they age isn't it? ds1 is only 11.5 but even now him not ever being allowed out alone9 ATM even the bloody garden argh) is so much more of an issue than it was when he was 6 and he didn't have to see his old MS school friends wandering about having fun. I have a theory that if they take his DLA we will insist he is NT and let him out but we can't really, he might kill someone and then his life would be ruined. At some stage we will have to as I know SSD have no interest in him and at 16 LEA will wash hands on basis of compulsory school age, happens even though they are in an AS base.

Can't see ds3 ever being out alone but he's 8, I can hope.

[pleasestoplying]

Now has HRM (for how long, who knows?) and so it is automatic.

[pleasestoplying]

My son (autism and ADHD, no learning difficulties) qualified for a BB pre-HRM - psych filled out form saying that he hadn't got HRM BUT qualified because of his severe behavioural difficulties (which our borough has as a criteria).

[manicinsomniac]

oh ok. If it can be worked out without added argument and money then I agree with you that they should be eligible when necessary then. Also think it's a shame that you can't access the resources to get one when it sounds like you do need it.

Riven - 1 in 100? Really? Seems to be everywhere to me. I can think of 15 in the school of 350 that I teach in. It's a pivate prep in the home counties so may be an unrepresentative sample? (parents pusing for dx?) I am including high functioning aspergers in that though, don't know if you were.

[unpa1dcar3r]

Peachy,
it's not just ASD who can't get BB's here (I'm also in Wales). My mate has 3 sons, all huge adults with FXS. She cannot get even one blue badge between them, simply because they're on LRC (one on MRC) and LRM, when in fact they should all be on HR for both, but she has no energy to fight it and is terrified they'll remove it altogether like they threaten if you question them. Grrrr.
There is so much disparity even amongst conditions which are very similar; her sons are no less disabled with their condition (e.g 28 yr old can't even be sent to shop opposite alone) than my two and yet I get HRC and HRM for both!

[borderslass]

Peachy First assessment this month just to get a history from pregnancy until now just me and autism team.

[PeachyWhoCannotType]

Borders has he been seen by a specialist tertiary team? Can be done on referral, a few around country that exist for just this reason

[Kladdkaka]

Other drivers will be campaigning for my daughter to have a BB when she's in a position to go shopping alone. She'll think she's fine and doesn't need help. Others may object to her bouncing her trolley from one car to the next. Bump, bumpity bump, bumpity bump. She put a dent in the back of our brand new car when we stopped off at a supermarket on the way back from picking it up from the dealer. She crashes her trolley into displays, people, baked bean tin mountains. I've lost count of the number of times she's taken the skin off the back of my ankles. Here's hoping she is NEVER let loose with a driving licence.

[borderslass]

Even if it was a criteria Riven, it wouldn't of helped us because even though DS's adult Dr says its 99% certain he is autistic children's team said otherwise.