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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have parked in a disabled spot today

227 replies

AuntiePickleBottom · 30/09/2011 21:42

my mum recently broke her leg, she has a full cast on, I took her food shopping today so parked in a disabled bay as there is no way my mum could of used crutches far or get out of a normal spot, my mum used one of the wheel chairs supermarkets offer for the customers.

OP posts:

LittlebearH · 30/09/2011 22:32

If someone is in pain and struggling then they should be allowed. Are we that un caring?? My liitle sister is disabled but can walk ok, so she doesnt always use them if she is having a pain free day.

Pseudo341 · 30/09/2011 22:33

I thought people used the disabled toilets with small children because that's usually where the baby changing facilities are, how else would disabled parents manage to change their babies?

MillyR · 30/09/2011 22:34

I agree that BITB is being rather extreme. After all, people with blue badges may have a permanent and painful disability, or terminal cancer, and might quite happily swap for a broken leg! So it is both distasteful and rather pointless to wish broken legs on people.

PeachyWhoCannotType · 30/09/2011 22:35

Pseudo I agree. Nasty.

In Wales there was chat about issuing pink badges for temp conditions- including pregnancy. Would have made sense; limited in duration and I am not sure what spaces linked to (probably P&T? ) but there is an overflow of people struggling and in pain who need help and are not entitled to it. That's always a crying shame. I imagine cuts saw it off though.

The problem isn't people with a cast using a space though; it's too few spaces. Enough and it would not matter. Except for the sort of idiot who damaged Glitter's car obv.

Pseudo341 · 30/09/2011 22:36

Glitterknickaz, please tell me you got his number plate and reported him to the police. Any cctv where you were?

Sevenfold · 30/09/2011 22:37

why can't the temporary disabled use P&C bays? they are not enforceable in the same way disabled bays are. that way not having a blue badge would not be a problem.

Glitterknickaz · 30/09/2011 22:38

No CCTV, police are dealing. Thanks for asking.

skybluepearl · 30/09/2011 22:38

YANBU

Pixel · 30/09/2011 22:38

"There isn't a distinction though between whether or not a disabled person is parking! It is whether or not a disabled person is in the car."

Actually it's whether or not the disabled person is getting out of the car.

Crosshair · 30/09/2011 22:41

Sounds awful and scary Glitterknickaz. Hope you get it sorted.

PeachyWhoCannotType · 30/09/2011 22:41

Ah Pseudo are ye not a veteran of these threads? You will be, don;t worry

Disabled toilets that also hold the change rooms- obviously OK for parents to change their baby, bloody poor design but fault of shop not parent.

People using toilets designated just for disabled people OTOH risk someone with a severe need waiting for longer than they need; yes there is always a risk of someone else disabled being before you but IME that rarely happens, that's unavoidable, but the poor sod who can't wait and has to wet themselves or whatever waiting should not have to for the sake of someone too lazy to walk to a proper toilet for their use.

Don;t get the prams thing though- 4 kids and yet to have any issues, there was always some way around it simply enough. Must just be me.

What otehr These Threads advice- ah yes: never judge the person coming out of a disabled loo s they may look NT but you cannot tell, DH ahd severe ijnco issues for a long while associated with IBS, looked as if he was using a loo through laziness (only ever did if a queue elsewhere and soiling after all is not nice), or BIL who had an inco bag that needed space to drain, or me with ds3 who has ASD but that's invisible but he has a tendency to lick toilet bowls so I have to fit in with him. Maybe that's my fault for having a fat ass though?

CalmaLlamaDown · 30/09/2011 22:46

Yabu, not for the parking issue but for taking your mum on a day out to asda.

cheesesarnie · 30/09/2011 22:48

glitter-hope police sort it.

LoremIpsum · 30/09/2011 22:53

Blue Badges are difficult to get, the spaces are limited, granting temporary ones for something like a broken limb could make it even more difficult for current holders to access their local communities and meet their needs. I just see that as a greater priority.

When I was in a similar position to the OP I just automatically used the drop and park option. It wasn't easy for mum to get around after a hip replacement but it was temporary. It didn't occur to us to use a disabled parking space. That said, I mostly did her shopping for her and when she wanted to get out took her to the beach or similar.

Recovering from an injury or operation is difficult, but in most cases it's not the same as being permanently disabled. Every time we equate something like a broken leg or pregnancy or caring for small children with being disabled we reduce the reality of dealing with a permanent disability and make life that much harder for those who are.

It's not the end of the world, doesn't mean the OP is a baaaaaad person, I not getting frothy on her and my judge knickers are in the wash. I just think she was unreasonable to use a disabled spot without a badge and could have dropped and parked.

slavetofilofax · 30/09/2011 22:54

Please don't let your Dad pay the fine without appealing it!

You ahve a ery good chance of it being waived as it was a private car park.

YWNBU at all to park there.

I did the same for my friend who was in a half leg cast when she broke her ankle. She is a big girl, and because of her weight, she really struggled to use crutches. She had to pay to hire a wheelchair because it was the only way she could get about, and she needed the space to be able to get out of the car. She would have needed extra space even without the wheelchair.

peterpan99 · 30/09/2011 22:54

i would say YABU as i have been with a blue badge holder when they have not been able to get parked because of non badge holders parking in the spots!

chickydoo · 30/09/2011 22:55

For Goodness sake, today she was disabled, you used a bay for disabled people, what's the issue? I know disabled people with more mobility than your mum who use disabled bays. She may not have a blue badge, but pehaps she could have a temp one, just for today. (in retrospect)

Pseudo341 · 30/09/2011 22:56

"Disabled toilets that also hold the change rooms- obviously OK for parents to change their baby, bloody poor design but fault of shop not parent."

Not a design fault at all, as I said how else would a disabled parent change their baby?

I'm a fairly veteran lurker, don't usually get involved.

I had logged off to go to bed but have come back to defend BITB, I remember being really angry at everyone and everything when my walking problems first started and might have wished all sorts of horrible things on all sorts of people (mainly on consultants). I'm a lot saner now, but 3 months in to horrible broken leg being scared it might never get better you should be entitled to the odd outburst.

PeachyWhoCannotType · 30/09/2011 22:56

Oh I agree to an extent, I have 3 with ASD but they said no to a blue badge even though we were desperate so I don't use them.

Bit there are levels of wrong and this one isn't anything like some previous scenarios.

Though if that WAS to me LMAO at irony of being told how hard it is to care for a disabled child, not that you were to know! Wanna borrow one?

PeachyWhoCannotType · 30/09/2011 22:57

Pseudo I meant when that's the only changing space available

LoremIpsum · 30/09/2011 22:57

Glitterknickaz, I'm sorry you were treated like that. What a cock. Hope you and your DD are ok.

minimisschief · 30/09/2011 22:58

lol how stupid. How is having a broken leg any different than another disability. The fact you have a badge or not is irrelevant because by the time its all aplied for then it would be too late anyway.

yanbu

Pseudo341 · 30/09/2011 22:59

LoremIpsum, very well said.

definitely going to bed now.

Backinthebox · 30/09/2011 23:34

Pseudo you are right, I do occasionally get a bit angry. I was rather angry at your post telling me that I was a bit fucked up, but I have had a bit of an angry couple of weeks, fighting for my career to be resumed in spite of the injury I have had and the length of recovery time and implications. But the fact you came back to defend me has smoothed me over for now. Thank you!

A particular low point for me was being dropped off outside ToysRUs by OH just before DD's birthday and having to struggle round by myself (OH on work phone call) in a wheelchair with a leg cast on, trying to find something for DD's present. Only to come out of the shop and find some twat in a Jag had parked diagonally across 2 disabled spaces and had therefore blocked my return to my car, and I had to sit in my wheelchair and shout for someone to come and help me.

Should it be that people who are temporarily disabled should be happier to accept degrading circumstances because for them it will only happen for a couple of weeks/months/years instead of permanently? As has been pointed out, there are so many shades of grey it is difficult to quantify who should be entitled to park closer to the shops. But it is a fairly heartless society that denies help to some people because they only desperately need it for a certain period of time.

Sevenfold · 30/09/2011 23:46

Backinthebox your post actually highlights what it is like to be disabled all the time.
imagine having to put up with that forever horrid isn't it

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