to ask if it is possible to overcome this and how?

[whereismysanity]

When you both want to spend the rest of your life together but one of you really wants that to be as a married couple and one of you really doesn't? :S

Loving you enough depends on what bars you set I guess ....

I am really glad you talked about it.

It's better that it's not 'never ever'. There's wiggle room.

Yay! Sounds like you're getting there. Good for you for talking to him about it.

A man who will talk about his thoughts and feelings.............

KEEP HIM

You mentioned the Forces - if you ever want an MQ, then you will have to be married. And it will simplify things in the event of an emergency (though the treatment of unmarried partners has improved of late).

I can safely say I will never ever want a MQ. I have a very good career and he can get on with his. Some of the patch wives are worse than some of the ladies who enjoy giving a good flaming on here

Good point!

Do check which pension he's on though - the older one has no provision for unmarried partners.

Hopefully one day we won't be unmarried - I also gave my own pension anyway .

youarekidding - why do you think I wanted to marry him?!

Have doh!!

Thing is with this kind of 'issue' in a relationship it's nearly always the one who doesn't want who wins out where the other partner gives up bringing the subject up and lets it slide out of fear of rocking the boat.

IMO I don't think something as big as this can be compromised on, much like when one party wants children and the other doesn't. There is no real middle ground.