Work sending me on a conference I don't want to go on!

[fifitot]

I have a 12 m old baby and a 5 yr old. Work have said I have to travel for a day's conference/meeting in central London in November. I have attended this annual event before so know it's at least 14 hours out of the house - 6 am train there and 7ish arrival back home. (Live up North)

I really don't want DH to have to do the morning and evening routine and for me not to see the kids all day. Know it's only a day but really........my baby is still young and both of them are a 2 man job, especially at night time routine. Baby has severe eczema and has to be bathed and wet wrapped etc.

I don't want to go! Have asked to be excused bearing in mind 2 of my colleagues also going. However been told we need a 'strong presence' at this event so no way out of it. Only concession is boss will allow me to leave a bit earlier...

What do you think? AIBU or should they be a bit more 'family friendly'?

[Whatmeworry]

Its only 1 day, and boss is allowing you to leave earlier so YABU. Kids do not trump Rest Of World.

[Andrewofgg]

OP if you did not go presumably somebody else would have to. And that somebody else?s private life is less important than yours because? The whole ?family friendly? idea can become ?non-family unfriendly? ? with private lives which don?t centre round dependent family or family at all being treated as second-class. And as others have said there will be times when you want help from others. Being flexible is a two-way street.

[sunnydelight]

It's one day, YABU. Unless you have an exclusively BF baby there is no reason why you can't go, lots of people do things they don't particularly want to.

[AngryGnome]

I can completely understand why you don't want to go, but there is no reason why you can't go - you have said that DH is capable of managing the bedtime routine (as he should be!) and although it will be tricky looking after both DC ,it is only for one night.
I don't think that your employer is being family UNfriendly, it's just that this one day a year commitment is inconvenient for you - as it probably is for many employees whether they have a family or not. A concession has already been made to allow you to leave earlier, which seems very reasonable.
The fact that you don't want to go is completely valid, but it is not a matter of your employer being family UNfriendly. If you feel that strongly about it, maybe you need to look for a job which suits your preferred work-life balance.

[ShoutyHamster]

It's one day and your child is a year old and your DH is there - no, YABU. And a bit daft, they will definitely think less of you for kicking up a fuss. I'ts an entirely reasonable request!

[flowery]

So:

You are a manager, therefore presumably salaried rather than hourly paid
You have no childcare problems
You don't have a tiny bf baby
It's one day in the year
It involves presumably getting home just an hour or two later than usual (7pm is not late by any stretch of the imagination)
There is no overnight stay involved

And you think your employer is being family unfriendly and want to say you can't go because bed time is a 2 person job?

Words fail me, they really do. It's threads like this that give public sector workers and working women a bad reputation.

Would your DH be saying the same if his employer required him to stay a little bit later than usual. Would he be saying they were family unfriendly and telling them he needed to be home for bed time every single day without fail because his wife can't manage two?

[MollyTheMole]

sorry OP but its attitudes like yours that can and do put employers off taking on women with children

[chicletteeth]

This is a joke isn't it?
OP, you are taking the piss aren't you?
Come on, fess up.

Fuck me, you'd better be taking the piss because this is PATHETIC.

Really fucking pathetic actually.

You set women back decades with this shitty attitude, you really do.
And we all wonder why mothers can't get decent jobs or why people generally steer clear of women of child-bearing age where they can.

Suck it up love, it's one damn day and if you are salaried and your job description says x hours per week and additional work where required, you have no choice.
I would however not be expecting any favours from my boss in the future if I were you, and you have little ones; you're going to need them. It's all about give and take.

Your DC won't turn into pumpkins if they stay up past seven for one night either.

Rant over, but damn, I'm shocked, I really am.

[BoffinMum]

I've done an overnight with a tiny, exclusively bf baby. Basically I built up a stock in the freezer, and while away expressed in the loos of Portcullis House and stored it all in an electric cool bag for two days. Amazingly this worked as a plan. Although the security people were flummoxed.

[Onemorning]

YANBU to not want to go.

YABU to expect not to go. It's one night in a year, FFS, and you have been told you can leave early.

[verytellytubby]

I hate to say it but YABU

It's one day. Your DH can do bedtime. He's their father.

[MrsJRT]

I leave for work at 6am and don't get back until after 9pm. I sometimes don't get a break and am regularly expected to stay for longer. I do this 3 or four times a week. If I have shifts together then I don't see my 2 kids for days on end. Ok so it is what I signed up for when I agreed to work for the NHS but I really think YABU on this one OP.