aibu to be very nervous about a midwife seeing me naked after this comment last time

[imnevergettingnaked]

warning: contains descriptions of mid childbirth vagina - you have been warned.
Dh thinks I am makin a fuss over nothing and should just forget it. I think that if it were reversed he would be just as mortified as I was/am.

I have had 4 children in the last 8 years. I am not so niave as to think that I am still pristine in the nether regions BUT during the last childbirth the midwife turned to the doctor who happened to be in the room at the time doing my blood pressure and said the following.

" no wonder she has never had any tears look its just hanging open ready".

I was actually at the time pushing a baby out but I manaed an indignant stare even so.

I am now pregnant and actually really dreading any midwife seeing me naked either before after or during the birth because I think I must have some freakish hanging vagina that makes people actually gasp when they see it.

DH assures me this isnt the case and thinks I am being ridiculously unreasonable to actually allow this to make me nervous about the birth. I think that if the roll was reversed and a doctor had commented say on the tiny size of his penis he may also be nervous about whipping it out again?

aibu to be nervous after this ? I know it wont change anything (as dh keeps reminding me) but he could at least show a bit of sympathy couldnt he!

it's worries like that that made me have 2 home water births and an unassisted home birth! i really, really did not want anyone seeing a baby coming out of my fanjo in close up detail. i little extreme i know.

a clown's pocket ?!?!?!

YANBU and she was extremely rude. I completely understand why you would feel worried about a re run. One of the things I've noticed on MN is that there is a lot of chat about wizzards sleeves, slack vaginas, untidy labia etc. This is something I have never worried about in my life - until MN. Just the talk about it has made me a little unsure whether my own bits would pass muster. You had a professional inappropriately commenting so no wonder you felt pissed off and unnerved. Fucking cow.

I suffer from pretty low self esteem and I have to say the size of my berjango has never worried me either.

Nor how soft my armpits are.

Anyway I was once having a smear and the nurse said 'my goodness you are small arent you, I will have to get the other speculum'

and I havent had any tears since DD (that was an epi) so I think your MW was talking toss.

Please dont let it worry you. Havent we enough to fret about?

I have never really thought about it before either! I have always been satisfied with the performance of my nether regions tbh - perhaps i just need to wipe the whole incident from my memory and go back to blissful ignorance. Oh and really hope that no one comments this time because then I really will be paranoid.

It sounds to me like she was talking positively about the birthing process, rather than making a negative judgement about your normal state, IYSWIM.

WTF is an untidy labia?

thefirstMrsDeVere That happened to me too (the smear having to get smaller instrument thing)

When I was in labour last time one of the people in the room (there were millions, really I'm not exagerating!) pointed at my bits and said to another "is that a bit of vaginal wall?" . . . At the time I thought that was a bit weird. Baby wasn't coming down and I was pushing and pushing so I wondered if I were pushing wall out! Bit worried i'm messed up down there and just don't realise it.

Mrs DV and eyebrows, I think it's a bit vulgar to show off about your ping-pong-ball-firing potential Not that I feel like someone's driven a bus up me after a forceps delivery

Speaking of strange experiences during smear tests, at the last one I had, the nurse breezily nnounced that she was going to 'flip' my cervix over with the tongs, as it was upside down! WTF? But strangely enough, I didn't have any period pains for months afterwards, when usually I get awful cramps.

It probably has a couple of half empty mugs of coffee, and some biscuit crumbs lying around on it, along with yesterday's paper and some sweetie wrappers, Saggy!

And I would have made good use of TheFirstMrsDeVere's 'in-labour swearing privileges' to state my views on that remark, if it had been made to me. Though if I am honest, once I was at that stage of labour, I wasn't really up to any sort of constructive conversation - though I did manage to glare dh and the midwife into silence when he was having a cheery chat with her about the baby's heart rate - the stare was at dh - the midwife (who was lovely) was collateral damage.

Well they've had to get the bigger speculum for me

On a practical note, do you fancy a water birth? If you stay in the water they'll not need to look.

Oh and :o at 'wiping' the incident

Well I may of needed a smaller instrument but I have a fanny covered in scars from being cut!

Ah swings and roundabouts...

print out this whole thread and stick it in your maternity notes! That'll sort'em.

Btw the warning at the start of your post is surely a MN classic!

There was no mention of the 'smaller instrument' at my last smear

Perhaps DC 5 was pushing things a bit too far?

Couldn't stop laughing all the way through reading this thread. Sorry but my childish self came out of the closet today...

She should've kept her lips shut but maybe she was trying to be encouraging as you said labour was stressful? Maybe she thought it would relax you to know you were ready for baby to come out?

Anything that makes childbirth easier has got to be good, no? really, what's the problem here? that you were once in a room with someone with no social skills? It's no reflection on you that you once met a rude midwife.

When I went to see my GP about dd's failure to thrive she told me that my first action must be to go into hospital to have my fanjo re-stitched "because the best gift you can give your little girl is a father"

(meaning dh would simply have to up and leave if I wasn't perfect in the nether regions)

Despite this I went into labour again without a qualm. My reasoning being that you would be extremely unlucky to come across more than one loon like this in a lifetime. And I never have.

I've had 2dc with no tears. According to the midwife giving me an internal while in labour with dd, I would have "no trouble" as there was "plenty of room up there"!

OP when are you due?
I am sure that on delivery day the last thing you will be thinking about is the clumsy rude remarks of a previous midwife.You will be too busy .

My sister was so determined that the doctor would not see her fanjo (this was i 1972 when internal exams where norm at every monthly check-up) she refused to get on the bed. She was not married (still considered shameful ) and the doctor said, its a pity you wasn't so hesitent about getting into bed before you got pregnant
professional people can chat shit sometimes, but most are not so thoughtless

cory & fit2drop

Why do people give birth naked?? sorry never apealed to me ..sorry I digress..

yeah I'd be quite miffed to not very nice.

cory NO!! That's awful. A loon indeed.

This reminds me of my last coil change. Its the first time I had one removed and a new one at the same time. The doctor was faffing around had lost the coil and I was laid there speculum in situ and waiting, prying the thing didnt shoot out. The nurse did keep on glancing over and I'm sure she was thinking "oh its not been ejected yet".

I would have assumed it meant that you were fully dilated and there was no nasty lip of cervix getting in the way as there normally is.

if you were pushing a babies head out then you would be the size needed to push a babies head out and there is no way she could have been commenting on what you are like normally.

For what its worth I've had a 9lb14 baby with no tears (pronounced airs or ears
) plus my other children and I still have to use a smaller size mooncup. I d