to think IPOAT gels will never marry well if they continue to be so fast?

[CaptainHornblower]

Yes the cuisine is questionable. This <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=chefs&hl=en&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:en-GB:official&gbv=2&tbm=isch&tbnid=jKrwlLGsQ32P7M:&imgrefurl=www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/article-23483461-chefs-should-be-fined-for-cooking-out-of-season-imported-food-says-gordon-ramsay.do&docid=Y9hXSAMjTQl7uM&imgurl=img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/06_01/ramseyMS0206_468x369.jpg&w=468&h=369&ei=tCkHT6TyGciE8gOAouHDAQ&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=654&vpy=326&dur=1086&hovh=199&hovw=253&tx=147&ty=137&sig=103362630470746556348&page=1&tbnh=125&tbnw=165&start=0&ndsp=21&ved=1t:429,r:17,s:0&biw=1280&bih=638" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">onecomes with his own hotpot ingredients.But it might get v. hot in the kitchen.

Mini, I think I'll stick with mine. He may not know his carrots from his courgettes but he is at least easy on the eye!

I have found cook's Mrs Beeton, which unsurprisingly is in pristine condition. 1001 uses for gin is sadly on its last legs however.

I have every confidence in your creative culinary talents Sybil
Just add cream and alcohol, what could be simpler. I am with Fanny on this one.( Craddock) that is.
No overusing the steak tenderiser though.

Just where does that young chef want to pour that oil?

"Just add cream and alcohol" - a fitting motto for life.

Whilst pamphleteering I had the good fortune to happen upon some kitchen folk meet Bessie, Bertha, Myrtle and Dave

They seem a jolly and hardworking bunch and have only asked that we make no mention of their dark and shady sideshow past.

They do seem suitable. Particularly Dave. Do you think I can tell them to exhale? It might reduce the puffery on their sleeves.

Perhaps in time and with a tisane or two from the distillery herb-drying shed, they may let drop an anecdote about their sideshow past. Would be an improvement on Cook's spoon dance at the fête.

Yes, I was rather hoping we would hear details of their past. They are very cagey when asked about it.

A visit to the distillery herb drying shed sounds like a splendid idea. Is it time for tiffin?

As the distillery herb-drying shed provides all the tisanes and possets all the Ladies and Gels need from morning till night, there is no need to wait until tiffin.
We are well stocked

It may take some time for me to summon the energy to tat myself a more suitable name cant remember how to do it although I think I left myself a message saying who helped me last time....ahh yes. Well off to tatting class I go.

Bit of IPOAT nostalgia I know but for old times sake

That will live forever!

Where the devil are Mimi and the Widow? Do you think they have done a bunk entirely?

Isn't dinner ready yet? Surely it has been days. I am quite famished.

Well there has a been an issue with the cook....and while we gels have been trying to attract some temporary help with our feminine wiles we are looking to you to provide a more permanent solution.

Good morning ladies.
I am famished. Hugh has a large sausage, could we not begin with that?

I do feel all those candidates to be a little under-dressed. i fear they will catch cold, even in the infernal hellish regions of the kitchen. Are there no stout middle aged widows with red noses and floury hands to be found?

hmmm Im not sure we should go back to that Mistress Hully, I think a change is due....

Maybe Irene Adler..a bet she would run a tight ship!

I regret I cannot assist in the search for candidates. I am in a small cafe and the elderly patrons will not cope with another huge Hugh

I do know of a portly chef who may be available under the auspices of 'community service' . He is a beardy twat tis true but a gift horse....

erm.. what...er...what was I doing?

oh yes! good point.....

Is there anything worth stealing at the hall? I feel the current climate has left us a little straightened so it might not be too much of a risk?

He would be grateful. We could lock up the cheese and place the key about mistress hullys person for safe keeping.
The wine may be a problem

I did hear tell of a gel residing in the Hall of Big Brother who lucked upon a suitable hiding place for wine. But I cannot quite recall where.

Is not dear Mrs Beeton available?

She has such a winning way with rhubarb.

And I see dear Mistress Gibbon happened upon a tidy bunch earlier. Perhaps they may be prevailed upon. There must be someone who is a dab hand with a posset.