to object to this idea?

[Shodan]

Here's the thing.

Ds1's father now lives in Scotland, having moved away from ds1 (in Surrey) when we divorced 12 years ago. He has been there for about two years. For 18 months he didn't see ds1 at all, then has had one or two visits over the last few months where ds1 went to his place in Scotland. His father drove down to pick ds1 up and they broke their return journey in Birmingham, staying with ds1's granny.

DS1 is due to go for October half term and wants to travel to Birmingham by himself on the train, saying his father will meet him at New Street station. I have issues with this, all to do with the fact that his father is untrustworthy in the extreme. This arrangement has been suggested before but with the addition of ds1 having to get a connecting train out to the area his granny lives in, and this I said no to.

To let ds1 travel to Birmingham on his own means taking him into London ith ds2 (3) to get him on the train OR putting ds1 on the train here and trusting that he will be able to make his way from Waterloo to Euston (or whatever station it is for Birmingham) and get on the right train. It also means having to trust that his father will meet him at the other end- which I don't. Trust him, that is. He has a history of saying he will do something then NOT doing it (like paying maintenance, for instance).

However.

Ds1 is nearly 16. I have a sneaking suspicion that I am being Mrs Precious MummyPants here and that at his age he should surely be able to manage this trip on his own. Obviously a lot of my objection to the idea is that it relieves his father of yet more responsibility and that pisses me off. Childish, I know.

So. AIBU and a Mrs Precious MummyPants, to boot?

Or am I being totally reasonable in my objections?

Hello Shodan, just caught up with the thread - I didn't mean to be negative, I'm certainly in the minority here! If DS really wants to do it, and he's obviously aware of the possible no-show then it probably will be an adventure for him. You are clearly a great role-model for him, and he must feel very secure within your family unit to be willing to accept his dad for who he is and go with it. Let us know how he gets on, I hope it all goes smoothly for him.

Thank you all so much for your input.

I feel a leetle bit silly now- you are of course quite right. ALthough I do NOT want to think of him driving so soon. That's enough to make any sane person who knows ds1 quake at the knees.

I will pack him off and he ill no doubt manage perfectly well.

And in years to come I will strenuously deny that I ever had these qualms.

Um at 16 I flew to Switzerland to meet family friends and then travelled across France to Toulouse to meet my Aunt who then drove me back to the UK
I think your 16yo can cope
I also did all my university open day visits on my own at 17 and my general ambition was to go to uni anywhere but home so cris-crossed the country several times.
He's going to need to grow up one day, sorry

Aw shucks, MyCat. Thank you. He is, though I sez it myself, a remarkably well-adjusted young man and I am very proud of him. This is just my bit of silliness, I think.

I was managing to travel to central London, change trains and stations and get out again at 15. Mum used to send me up to town to get stuff from specialist supplier shop in the holidays. I think it got me out from under her feet.

You know your son, but I suspect MOST 15 yr olds will cope with this OK given enough time for transfers and enough briefing in advance. Can you send him up to London on an errand of some sort one weekend , see how he copes with that?

Does he know the way from destination station to Granny's house?