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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Son likes wearing nail varnish..

27 replies

pyjamasinbananas · 28/09/2011 09:45

2 and a half yr old DS loves having his nails painted. I see no problem with it as it's just dressing up in my opinion but wanted some views on it FIL went mental saying he'd turn out a 'woofta' I told him to never repeat that to me again as I don't care if my son turns out to be gay/straight/unicorn/whatever but AIBU to paint his nails?
Am I setting him up to be bullied?

OP posts:
ArseyContarsie · 28/09/2011 09:46

wearing nail polish cannot turn you gay and 2 yr olds don't get bullied

ArseyContarsie · 28/09/2011 09:46

or bully

Sirzy · 28/09/2011 09:47

I would tell your fil to grow up!

At that age they don't understand "girls things" and "boys things" and I for one won't be forcing those ideas on ds. He is nearly 2 and loves pretending to put my eyeshadow/face cream etc on!

Original poster
pyjamasinbananas · 28/09/2011 09:47

That's what I thought. Some of the other boys at nursery have beautiful nails as well so he isn't the only one

OP posts:
CristinadellaPizza · 28/09/2011 09:47

So does my DS. Now he's at school, he's only allowed to wear it on the weekends though :)

Your FIL is an idiot

QueenOfFeckingEverything · 28/09/2011 09:47

FIL is a numpty and clearly has issues Smile

solidgoldbrass · 28/09/2011 09:48

My DS is now 7 and still likes nail varnish, so I do his nails sometimes. Nail varnish (now and again) is fun. Tell your FIL not to be such a silly old fart and offer to paint his nails for him. After all, David Beckham wears nail varnish...

Original poster
pyjamasinbananas · 28/09/2011 09:50

Maybe I should get DS a sarong as well. He has beautiful eyelashes he'd have made a lovely girl. Unlike his tomboy sister who is sat here ignoring her dolls for the box of cars!!

OP posts:
itisnearlysummer · 28/09/2011 09:50

My parents used to say the same to me about my DS who wore nail polish and his hair in bunches regularly before starting school.

He's since grown out of it and, at 12, is showing no signs of becoming a 'woofta'. And if he did, I wouldn't be attributing it to the nail polish and hairstyles of his early years!

Not only did he not get bullied for it, it was only the uber-boys (the ones who were encouraged to be a bit aggressive because that's what boys are like Hmm) that didn't. Loads of his friends did at that age!

itisnearlysummer · 28/09/2011 09:52

Oh and he enjoyed trying the make up testers in Boots until he was about 9 or 10! I think he probably still would and it's only embarrassment that stops him!

valiumredhead · 28/09/2011 09:52

So did my ds - he loved having blue 'Power Ranger' nails Grin

booyhoo · 28/09/2011 09:53

my two and a half year old ds is currently sporting a daring red on his nails. he also like to have his hair brushed and put in a ponytail/plaited/pigtails. it wont make him gay. if he is gay, he will have been gay from before he ever knew what nail polish was.

Original poster
pyjamasinbananas · 28/09/2011 09:53

He wants barbie rapunzel for Christmas but also a monster truck. And he quite happily lets me put bunches and clips in his hair. He did cry a bit when I drew the line at him wearing his sisters dress to nursery but there's plenty of time for that when he's older!!
I let him girly up a lot more to visit FIL Grin

OP posts:
Grumpla · 28/09/2011 09:56

Tell your FiL that using the word "woofta" makes him sound like a bigoted old fart, and you rather your son turned out gay than one of those.

Add a tinkling merry "only joking" laugh at the end of the sentence, if you must.

I paint my DS's toenails sometimes, I used to paint my Dad's when I was a little girl too Smile he's not turned into a "woofta" yet either. Mind you my sister is a lesbian. She HATES having her toenails painted....

Original poster
pyjamasinbananas · 28/09/2011 09:58

DD wears boys boots and hates having her nails done. funnily enough FIL hasnt accused her of being a lesbian yet!!

OP posts:
Hullygully · 28/09/2011 09:58

He will deffo be homerseckshal and a danger

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 28/09/2011 09:59

Ah this thread is making me smile.

I remember those days! My son (now a hard looking strapping great 14 year old that even a drunken sailer wouldn't pick a fight with) used to prance around in his sisters pink tutu and wand and fairy wings.

I have a photo somewhere ready to show his first girlfriend.

OP - YANBU of course

Incidently I find "rock star" type slightly scruffy men who wear dark nail varnish incredibly attractive.

CoralRose · 28/09/2011 10:06

YANBU

My 2.6yo has a princess obsession (he's watching Tinkerbell at the moment). They see no difference between boys and girls, it's so sad that people feel the need to label when it comes to such young children, they are learning and exploring just as children should, there should be no restrictions! My DS often pretends to put make up on when I'm doing mine, but he also copies Daddy and uses my nail file on the heels of his foot Hmm

You need to be very careful that your DS doesn't pick up on these comments though, my DS recently got very upset at me picking out a princess toy for him at the supermarket, it later transpired that one of DHs friends made a remark that morning and DS was embarrassed Sad

Original poster
pyjamasinbananas · 28/09/2011 10:07

I love that he can go from being a proper boy to a girly boy. Actually would quite like him to be a musical theatre star but don't want to conform to stereotypes

OP posts:
Original poster
pyjamasinbananas · 28/09/2011 10:07

Bloody formatting!!

OP posts:
WhereTheWildThingsWere · 28/09/2011 10:18

It's funny that I always loved painting ds's nail and toes until he sadly grew out of it, but I always feel slightly uncomfortable painting his younger sisters, with ds it was all play and pretend, whilst with dd I hate to feel I am 'prettifing' her.

SOmetimes dp lets me do his black for high days and holidaysWink

Original poster
pyjamasinbananas · 28/09/2011 10:20

I feel weird about attempting to do DD's as well. Mainly as she's 15 months but also like I'm saying well you're a girl so you have to do this

OP posts:
itisnearlysummer · 28/09/2011 10:22

WTWTA God I was think the exact same thing! My DS was rarely without nail polish as a young child, but I'm really against his sister wearing it for the same reason.

In my head - a boy with nail polish = parents who aren't conforming to stereotypes and are letting their child explore the world and express himself; a girl with nail polish - parents are conforming to stereotypes and teaching DD that the world will only value her for her beauty.

itisnearlysummer · 28/09/2011 10:23

*same reason as you.

MissMap · 28/09/2011 10:57

My DN loved nail varnish, all things sparkly, dressing up as a princess, playing with "girls", toys, insisted he would be a lady when he grew up ( he was 4 at the time). He disliked playing with boys and only made friends with girls. My clever sis niether encouraged nor discouraged this behaviour, just accepted it as normal for him. Although she got lots of adverse comments from the older generation in our family.This went on until he was 13 then very gradually he started to change.

He is now grown up. 100% male, hetrosexual, devestatingly handsome, has many girl friends, and mixes well with males too. He is very popular with his peer group. But there is still something special about him. He understands the way women think better than most men. I feel he is very sympatico towards me and his mum, sisters and girl friends. He is very self confident and accepting of people who may be a little different. He has a successful medical career.

I worry about that ten year old boy who was in the news last week who's mother seems to be encouraging him to decide to be a girl. We could have done that with my DN and it would have been a huge mistake.

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