to be annoyed with the school about packed lunch police

[NYCorLondon]

My dd is in reception and I think the school are being OTT about policing the packed lunches. We got the guidelines before school started which seemed pretty reasonable - not too much junk, no peanuts etc.

So one day I send her in with three small squares of good quality dark chocolate. To my mind that's far better than the cakes that they serve for dessert every day with school dinners. The teachers called me in at the end of the day and I was told not to put chocolate in school lunches. I wanted to say something but didn't want to make trouble so just nodded and agreed.

The other day she had something with sesame seeds on it (I was away that day). DH was called in when he picked up and told that sesame seeds are not allowed (not written anywhere). They had let dd eat it but she'd had to wash her hands and tongue(!) afterwards. DH forgot to tell me about this incident and I sent her in today with a seeded bagel. So this time the dinner ladies took away her sandwich and gave her a plain white roll instead.

I'm feeling really annoyed with the school and thinking about complaining tomorrow. If they've changed the guidelines, then why haven't they sent anything home? And taking away a 4 year old's lunch is really not on imho!

Out of interest, are sesame seed reactions airborne??? Is a child really at risk from my dd eating a sandwich with seeded bread???? Or is the school being totally OTT?? It'll help me get some perspective on this!

Thanks!

The only things dd is not allowed to take in packed lunches are chocolate bars and nuts/seeds. I dont have any problem at all with it - its one meal a day!

well the packed lunch police phoned me yesterday to say DD4 had nothing but a yoghurt in her lunch box and could they give her a school dinner. I replied that when she went into school she had 2 scones, 1 cereal bar, 1apple, 1 orange, 2 yoghurts, 1 fruit puree pouch and 1 apple juice carton. They say they will call me back, phoned back 5 mins later to discover DD had eaten all her lunch at break time as she wanted a school dinner because they are full of sugary things that mummy would never let her eat

Where were the packed lunch police at break time when she was supposed to be eating the pear in her book bag? that she could eat a whole lunch box and not be noticed !!

Allergy issues aside I don't think schools have a single leg to stand on policing what's in lunchboxes until the school lunches they offer stand up to the same rigorous examination.

From what I can see the puddings they offer are no more or less an unhealthy option than my cake or biscuit in fact often it is worse.

Their interest in what is in someone's lunchbox should only be from an allergy perspective and that is all.

That's a lovely picture you paint nippy of some poor DC being sent to eat their lunch - where? In the heads office?

Suck it up and comply with the allergy police. THat is a child's life you are messing with. You aren't entitled to know details or the child or how bad the allergy is etc a blanket ban is absolutely appropriate.

As for the no choc- that is in one small meal a day. Again choose your battles. If you want to give your child a mars bar a day, or the 2 small squares of deliciousness, do it 2hrs later at school collection time.

Honestly you'll have bigger battles to pick in the future, these really aren't work bothering with!

THe soy "nuts" thing is hillarious. THey blooming well should know they ain't "tree nuts" but again I think seeing your child munching something vaguely nut looking could easily start a "X had peanuts today can't I have some" rumour and again you do not mess with food allergies.

wilson for the 10 mins it would take in the best intersets of the child I can't see it as a problem. Other children with medical needs have to take time out. It's life.

The point is that nut allergy isn't just about nuts. It's about peanut oil, seeds, soya products etc. Even the 'allowed' chocolate biscuit bars can contain nut derivatives such to bring about anaphylactic shock. Also a lot of cereal bars not said to be of the nut variety can contain nut traces.

Sorry nippy but I actually think the best interests of the child are to eat their lunch in the normal social situation with their friends and learn to manage their allergy. For very young children, this means other people making reasonable adjustments, as the child gets older they have to then learn what they can/cannot eat.

The problem that the OP has is that the policy is inconsistent, and hasn't been properly communicated - and I agree with her on that.

I disagree, by your analysis every child would have to be treated as if they themselves had an allergy. That is not going to happen as a lot of parents aren't aware that pastries, coconut, marzipan and cakes can all provoke an allergic reaction due to peanut oils often used. That is before we move onto legumes. What I am trying to say is that unless every child has a school meal which is strictly monitored just saying no nuts isn't going to prevent possible exposure. Some children are so sensitive that airborne exposure is trigger enough.
Since it can be a deadly condition better to remove the child from the source and socialise after mealtimes rather than this half baked clamp down which doesn't cover the half of it!
I do not see a problem with plain chocolate as it is rich in antioxidents and said to be excellent for female health.

You should all count your blessing for that fact that you don't live in the police state which is Sweden. Here it is an offence to bring any form of nut product into any school. You could get prosecuted!

On the other hand, there is no need to do so as school meals are completely free for all children. All cooked from scratch on site by the school cooks.

babybarrister, adapting your menus to suit your child must have been very difficult, frustrating and at times heartbreaking. i have a friend who has had to adapt because of a multitude of allergies in her child, without meaning to sound patronising, i truly applaud you, i know you dont really have a choice but i am still so very impressed.

personally, i would be mightily p**ed off if the school chose to inspect my childs lunch box. if they set rules re. allergies i would expect that as an adult i would be given the trust and respect of being able to provide an allergy reduced diet for my child.

on the subject of home-made cakes etc, i would be planning some Heston Blumenthal style food deception.......wonder what the school would make of that.

My nephew cannot understand why he isn't allowed chocolate in his lunch box but the school dinners kids can have chocolate cake. He repeatedly questions this one!

And since when was a slice of flapjack more "healthy" than a few squares of dark chocolate? Have you seen the amount of crap sugar and fat in flapjack? Sure, it has oats in it, and if you're lucky some fruit - but really it is a load of melted sugar and butter in a bar form. Two desert spoons full of demerara for lunch me dear??

DD school has a healthy eating policy and I stick to it.

I would be outraged if someone took her sandwich and replaced it with another one, especially if it was for a reason that hadn't been mentioned to me. My DD loves peanut butter sandwiches and they've never been an issue at any of my kids schools.

Well said babybarrister. Dcs school doesn't ban any allergens but on a school trip a note was sent out, presumably for dd's benefit asking parents to avoid nuts and peanuts in the packed lunch. DD thought she would be allowed to share food because the note made it safe. People who don't live with it can be very well meaning but I wouldn't trust them an inch to actually put it into practice day in, day out.

I have absolutely no argument whatsover (WHATSOEVER) with the packed lunch police to with regard to peanut allergies, etc.

With regard the policing of lunches on any other grounds, I recommend sending in 12 'nice' raw sausages once a term. To lower the bar.

SNORT!!!

"And since when was a slice of flapjack more "healthy" than a few squares of dark chocolate? Have you seen the amount of crap sugar and fat in flapjack? Sure, it has oats in it, and if you're lucky some fruit - but really it is a load of melted sugar and butter in a bar form. Two desert spoons full of demerara for lunch me dear??"

Hallelujah - someone said exactly what I was going to and saved me the bother of typing it all out.

Our school doesn't allow chocolate but does allow non-chocolate sweet stuff like flapjacks.

I made flapjacks today ( for PTA coffee morning not for our little treasures to take to school) - this is my special healthy school version.

Recipe:

A handful of healthy wealthy oats (can you just feel the earthiness of this recipe oozing out already)

Brazil nuts (full of selenium for a big handful hardly any fat no siree )

Almonds (full of polyphenollydolly things so another big handful more fat but yummy )

Raisins aka sugar important to add fruit to keep up your five a day (though a handful is probably more raw grapes than you'd manage to get through in a week but still, its fruit )

A bit of sugar (only 25g though we don't want it to be too sugary)

Half a tin of syrup I know thats just sugar but calling it something dfferent makes it sound not like sugar

Enormous great big wedge of butter, melt it so it looks smaller and you can convince yourself you don't have half a pack of butter in it

Smoosh together until mixed then wack in microwave for 4 mins, cool.

Eat wearing loud rock music on ipod to drown out sound of arteries screaming.

Over the chocolate issue I feel your pain.

At the infant school ds has just left, they were allowed any form of sweets or chocolate bars, as long as they were not just chocolate.

There was a child who every day for three years took for his lunch, 2 slices of buttered white bread and a bag of mashmallow 'flumps' every day for three whole sodding years. Not an eyelid batted.

One day I gave ds a small piece of dark chocolate from his easter egg as a treat, it was taken off of him, binned and a letter sent home about healthy eating

The rest of his lunch consisted as it did everyday, of a brown sandwich with protien, a salad, piece of fruit, yoghurt.

It's so difficult with regard to allergies. Our school has a nut ban, even on bringing in cereal boxes that might have traces of nuts etc. I am friends with the lady whose child has the nut allergy and she is very proactive in making sure no nuts go in his environment at school, however I am now paranoid about our house, as we eat nuts (e.g. shelling peanuts, almonds, walnuts) pretty much every day as a great source of protein. I don't invite him over and have told her this as I simply couldn't guarantee a nut-free house at all, even if my children ate no nuts for a day, there could be a rogue peanut under their bed or something.

I cannot imagine how stressful this is, but also agree that thinking you have a nut-free school is probably a big mistake, as I'm sure children do bring in products all the time which have some nut contamination (as already discussed). And mine do eat nuts in the morning a couple of days a week precisely because they can't have them at school.